The hell of hating your sister-in-law: We have so much in common, our children are the same age, but I just CANNOT abide her. And when you hear what she did at my wedding, you'll realise why!

When my brother’s wife Rachel tapped a teaspoon against her glass to make an impromptu speech at my wedding, I assumed it would be about my new husband Andrew and me.Instead, she stood up and proceeded to announce that she was pregnant with her second baby.There were gasps, and an awkward moment of silence when nobody really knew how to react, realising that this was far from ideal timing. And after what felt like forever, there was a ripple of applause, which ended in rather feeble cheers.As for me, I tried to hide my shock and swallow my tears.It felt so pointed. We’d never got on and here she was trying to upstage me on the most important day of my life.Ever the attention-seeker, Rachel wouldn’t have cared less about putting my nose out of joint. In fact, had she had any idea of the real reason I was so miffed, she’d have been even more delighted about stealing my thunder.You see, Andrew and I had our own little announcement planned. Beneath my bridal gown I was concealing the teeniest of bumps; I was ten weeks pregnant with our first child and our plan was to wait until we returned from a honeymoon in Italy a few weeks later to share the happy news.Given that Rachel and my brother Ryan had only had their first child six months earlier, I didn’t expect them to add to their family so quickly – nor that she’d use it against me on my own wedding day.Perhaps she was jealous of the grand country house wedding we’d paid for ourselves. Unfathomably, she had turned up inappropriately dressed in jeans and a blazer, too, knowing it would rile me. Eleven years since her wedding-day bombshell, my sister-in-law remains a troublemaker. She talks over everyone and ensures that the conversation revolves around her, says Claire Hall (picture posed by models)Mum gave me a knowing look from across the room as Rachel made her announcement. Andrew was furious but I begged him not to make a scene: ‘That’s exactly what she wants – a big argument to completely ruin our wedding. We’ve got to let it go.’This was just the start of a rivalry that became ever more embittered throughout our pregnancies. Far from bonding over the shared experience, Rachel used it as an opportunity to claim superiority at every turn.Ryan, a marketeer three years my junior, first introduced Rachel to the family when they started dating aged 20. I never particularly warmed to her. Even in the early days, she used to deliberately talk over Mum – and still does. I’d sit there and think, ‘Hang on a minute, let my mum speak!’I used to will Mum to say: ‘Excuse me, let me finish!’ But she never did, which irritated me a bit. Why did Rachel have so much control?My three younger brothers and I have always been protective of Mum as she’s been on her own since our dad took his own life when I was 16. But Rachel, a private caterer, would never let anything stand between her and the limelight – and showed little empathy towards anyone.Still, when she and Ryan had their first baby – a first grandchild for my mum – I was over the moon to become an auntie. As the eldest of four, I’d always loved being around little ones, right from when I’d help Mum with my younger siblings as a child.Given that I don’t have sisters, I’d have loved to have had a close relationship with my sister-in-law, particularly when we were pregnant at the same time. It could have been a lovely opportunity for me to seek her advice and reassurance, given that she’d been through pregnancy once before.Instead she viewed me as an arch rival and would belittle me about everything from morning sickness (she gloated that she didn’t suffer one bit, while I did dreadfully) to my nursery plans and even the birth.When it came to preparations for the baby, she flaunted their expensive double stroller and scoffed at our ‘cheap pram’ (her words). She compared her bump to mine when we were eight and five months pregnant respectively, remarking, ‘Look how much neater mine is than yours!’If she spotted me ordering a starter or dessert at a family meal, she’d deliberately seize it as an opportunity to put me down: ‘Oh, eating for two again, are we? You’ll learn.’As someone who’s always been slender, this made me seethe with anger.Worst of all, when my baby was born four weeks prematurely by emergency C-section and whisked off to the special care unit before I could even hold her, Rachel’s first comment when she arrived at the hospital with my brother was: ‘I see you chose the easy way out then, instead of a natural birth.’ She’d had a natural birth three months previously.I was hurt and furious in equal measure but chose to keep my fury to myself rather than cause a scene.After that, she’d critique our parenting skills, from how we changed nappies, breastfed my baby (when I struggled to get her to latch on, she’d tell me I was stressing my daughter out) and held her at naptime. She always knew best; I tried to avoid her as much as possible.And you can probably imagine the fuss she made of her son’s first birthday – intent on showing us up. While we had a simple afternoon tea celebration for our daughter, they organised a garden party with fancy bell tents and a caterer.Every year, she’s on a mission to outdo whatever simple celebration we’ve chosen for our two kids, who are now ten and seven, always boasting about the cost – hiring a marquee and entertainers set them back £2,000 for one party.Then there would be a big reveal of the expensive gifts, which have included an electric ride-on Mercedes (these kids’ cars can cost up to £1,200) and designer branded clothing.As ever, my brother goes along with it for an easy life and I don’t mention the dynamic to him for that reason.Meanwhile, Andrew and I never feel the need to compete, despite our well-paid jobs for a pharmaceutical company.But the fact that she does everything to make us feel small taints every family occasion – even my own children’s birthdays, when all my focus should be on them, not her.Eleven years since her wedding-day bombshell, she remains a troublemaker. She loves nothing more than to turn up uninvited at our home or my mum’s if there’s a family get-together. She then talks over everyone and ensures that the conversation revolves around her.I have lovely relationships with the wives of my other two brothers. So it’s very definitely her and not me.As told to Sadie NicholasClaire Hall is a pseudonym. Names and identifying details have been changed.