Signed ‘family contracts’, Snapchat pitches & no ‘removing gadgets’ – expert reveals ways to ‘future-proof’ your child

HOW do you future-proof your children and have them tech-savvy without exposing them to online misery? It’s not easy – but it’s totally possible. A top online child safety expert has revealed the tips and tricks to level up your youngsters without letting the gadgets, games and apps win. The Sun’s Sean Keach sat down with expert Jess Chalmers for the latest episode of Future Tech Feed Credit: Future Tech Feed with Sean Keach Speaking to The Sun on the latest episode of Future Tech Feed with Sean Keach (Watch the full episode on YouTube), Jessica Chalmers – better known as Social Jess – shared how you can make parenting a little easier in a world with endless access to tech. Jess was a social media expert who retrained after watching dystopian Netflix doc The Social Dilemma – which exposes the dangerous impact of social networks – and realising she wasn’t equipped to keep her kids safe online. Sign up for the Tech newsletter Thank you! “Feeling overwhelmed and worried, I thought I can’t be the only person feeling like this,” Jess explained. Now she shares her ultimate guide to future-proofing your kids, and how it all might change under the upcoming UK social media ban. Read more on social media ban BAN TRAP One thing parents absolutely need to watch out for is the Government’s upcoming social media ban. The details are still light, but it likely means that under-16s will be locked out from popular online apps altogether. But in Australia, where a similar ban has been rolled out, many children have still found ways to get online. “I worry that we think, oh, that’s job’s done,” Jess warns. Most read in Tech “You can see that actually a lot of parents are given a false sense of security because the latest research in Australia shows that over 60% of children are still on social media.” Jess warns that tech-savvy teenagers will always find a way to “single-wangle” their way around blocks. Jessica Chalmers (aka Social Jess) is a tech-savvy online child safety expert Credit: Jessica Chalmers It’s difficult for parents to know when to introduce their youngsters to tech Credit: Getty And worse still, it could push teens into more dangerous parts of the web. “Teenagers will find a way to connect with each other anyway,” Jess told The Sun’s Future Tech Feed. “So they’re gonna be kind of maybe finding murkier, darker corners of the internet, which has its own problems. “And I just feel that big tech might be feeling let off the hook.” Jess added: “We should be focusing on getting big tech to clean up their act because that’s where the problem is.” Tech gives youngsters the opportunity to learn and create like never before. But there are plenty of new problems that the digital age has brought. Powerful algorithms can show children content that you wouldn’t want them to see – and sextortion increasingly targets youngsters. “The first stage of a groomer is they’re going to be researching social media profiles to kind of find a child that’s feeling gloomy,” Jess reveals. But while predators might seem like the problem for parents, children are more worried about the intense pressure to constantly respond. That doesn’t include just replying to people – but also being included on app features. “I just can’t imagine being a teenager and just looking on that Snap Map and seeing all my friends sitting together at someone else’s house and you’re not invited,” Jess says. ‘SCREENSHOT!’ Protecting them starts with not treating the online world like it’s totally separate. “My generation will see an online world and an offline world, but young people today, it’s just their world. Online, offline, it’s just their world,” Jess explained. Apps like Snapchat can allow youngsters to communicate – but it can also create pressure, and leaves kids who aren’t online feeling left out Credit: Getty Games like Roblox let kids explore their creative sides, but getting parental controls and screen time right are important Credit: AFP She said to ask positive questions, like “what made you laugh on TikTok today?” or “how is your Minecraft world coming along?” And by building these casual conversations early, children will be far more likely to come to you when things go “wonky.” But more important than that is making sure that your kids can think critically. “The best thing that we can teach our children to help them be responsible and resilient is to get them to think critically when they’re online,” Jess says. One of the best bits of advice is to master the screenshot tool. It’s second nature to adults – but we can’t assume that young children will do the same. For younger kids, she recommends a simple physical routine. Ask them: “You know that feeling in your tummy when something doesn’t feel right?” If they get that feeling, teach them to immediately follow three steps: Screenshot the evidence Block the user Report them Jess advised that parents should get their kids to actively practice how to screenshot on every device they own. SNAPCHAT SAVVY When Jess’s own teenage son begged her for Snapchat so he wouldn’t miss out, she didn’t just hand it over. Instead, she had him prepare a presentation for her. He had to read the teen-focused online safety book Clicks, by Natasha Devon. You can have conversations about tech safety with children from a very young age Credit: Getty Parents typically worry about strangers online – but Jess says youngsters are more concerned about the constant pressure to respond Credit: Getty And he had to watch Netflix’s The Social Dilemma too. “How will he recognise them? What will he do to avoid them? And what will he do if he comes across one of those things?” Jess explains. By forcing him to research the dangers himself, he was fully equipped before he ever logged on. Jess also regularly makes youngsters read Snapchat terms and conditions as an exercise on data privacy. It’s something that even many adults overlook – but it’s key to understanding what happens to your info when you go online. SIGN THE CONTRACT! One key area where parents struggle to strike a balance is with screen time. Sadly, there’s no perfect screen time amount that will suit every single child or family. But Jess recommends downloading or creating a Family Media Agreement. This is a formal contract detailing exactly when devices must be shut off, what can be shared, and how everyone is expected to behave. That means you, the parent or guardian, have to follow the rules too. And this is in addition to the usual parental controls, which aren’t a foolproof shield by any means. “Think of them as a hurdle because children are really clever and they can kind of wingle-wangle their way” through them, she says. It’s important to schedule time away from smartphones so families can have meaningful conversations, Jess says Credit: Getty Future Tech Feed with Sean Keach sees expert guests answering big questions about what’s next Credit: FTF As well as that, Jess says parents should avoid confiscating devices when something goes wrong. “Think twice before you move the device from your child because it seems like a really sensible thing to do,” Jess warns. If you take the device away, your child will simply stop telling you when things go wrong in the future, out of fear of losing their digital lifeline. Instead, Jess advises parents to keep boundaries nice and simple. That might include clear “non-negotiables”, like having no tech at the dinner table or on short car journeys. They’re the perfect opportunity for children to open up and have meaningful chats – rather than being glued to a phone. SEATBELTS & SMOKING The good news is that, despite the doom and gloom online, Jess is incredibly optimistic about the future for kids online. She thinks we’re currently living through a transitional era where we look back at the early days of social media as a kind of Wild West. “I think we’ll look back on this time as kind of a fun, you know, in the way that we look back at like, I think, oh my goodness, like we used to just roll around in the back of a car without any seatbelts on or I can’t believe we used to be in planes and people were smoking on the back seat,” Jess told us. And that might kick off with the social media ban, but it’s unlikely to stop there. Comment now