My Friend Joe Vanella Is a Traitor

Joe Vanella is the apple-tossing civilian breakout from "The Traitors: New Blood." He’s also been my friend for more than 20 years. And it’s kind of weird watching your friend become a reality star.Courtesy of NBC / PeacockI have known Joseph Vanella for multiple decades. The world has known him for about nine weeks, ever since he showed up on the latest season of The Traitors: New Blood as one of the civilians airdropped into a Scottish castle so they can be barked at by a feather-clad Alan Cummings while trying to determine who amongst the group are actively “murdering” the others. Vanella, as it turns out, is one of the murderers, and spends his time lying to almost everyone around him, feigning innocence in between doing ren faire cosplay in a turret with the two other traitors. He’s also on the ropes: this week’s episodes has the walls closing in, as one player (the dreaded Victor) convinces the group that Joe is…well, what he actually is, a Traitor.Joe Vanella—his actual last name, not at all made up!—is a Sopranos character come to life: big laugh, big body, big heart, proudly hails from Long Island, calls it “prazhoot” instead of prosciutto. He’s a family man (a wife, three small cute kids) and a funeral director (a job that runs in the family), and if you have a couple drinks with him, he will share stories about some truly absurd funerals he’s directed. Unlike many of his Traitors costars, he was not some form of influencer prior to getting cast.He’s also now the subject of, like, three or four Traitors memes. People dressed as him for Halloween! And so I’ve spent a significant amount of time lately watching Joe, my friend, a guy I love, who texts the groupchat about gastronintestinal distress (tbh, we all do), also become a kind of breakout reality star. And not to make his newfound fame about me, but I wanted to know what’s going on with a guy who’s achieved that specific level of renown best described as A Guy.So we talked about that—on zoom, with two kind NBC chaperones to make sure, I assume, Joe didn't share any spoilers. We talked about how his wife feels about him being very good at lying. Being recognized at funerals he's overseeing. And his now-complicated relationship with apples (Traitors fans will know).GQ: Joseph Vanella, it's great to meet you.Vanella: Jon, thanks for being on time, buddy. That helped me out a lot.I'm sorry I’m five minutes late. I've got a lot of meetings going on. I'm a very busy person, but not as popular as you.Are we going to talk about how I beat your ass in fantasy baseball every year? Do we get to touch on that?We absolutely will. But first, Joseph Vanella—Joey, as I know you; Joe, to the rest of the world now that you're on Traitors—why did you go out for Traitors? Because we've never actually gotten into this, and I find it fascinating. A lot of people that I know, who also know you, have asked me, “Wait, why is Joe on Traitors?”Okay. So we'll start at the beginning. My wife, Meg, and I were looking for a show to watch, and my sister-in-law is like, "You guys got to watch Traitors." And it was after the first season. And we put it off, and then we watched it, and I immediately fell in love. We went through, I think, the first season in two days. We got into the second season. It sort of became a routine in our house. Every Thursday, I'd go to Carvel, get two sundaes. After the kids went to bed, we'd sit in there, we'd watch the new episode of Traitors. So, completely enamored with the show. There's a casting call after season four, the Rob Rausch season. And Alan's on TV, and he's like, "We're going to let regular people into the castle."My sister-in-law, Erin, is going, "You got to do it. You got to do it." I'm like, "Ah, I don't know." I haven't been to the gym since my oldest kid was born. I'm like, this is the fattest I've been. Do I really want to be on TV? But I had a day at work, and afterward I made a video—and next thing I knew I was on a plane to Scotland. It was crazy. And also, as you saw how fat I am at this point in my life, it's a show where I feel like I could get away without the athletic prowess needed for most other shows. So that was a positive, too.Yeah, we’ll discuss your cardio at a later point in this interview. I do have to ask, did you go into this trying to get famous? Are you hoping to be famous? Do you want fame?No. I went into this just to... You want to know the truth?Yes.I went into this because I wanted to see the castle, I wanted to meet Alan, and I wanted to be on my favorite show. It's the equivalent, at this point in my life, if you pick me up when I was 13 and drop me in The Simpsons, this is what this is to 44-year-old Joe Vanella. It's picking me up and dropping me into my favorite show. And how many people get that opportunity?Only 20-something people per season it looks like, and some didn't make it very far, though you've made it pretty far. You did skip over a moment that I got to be part of, as you were in the process of possibly joining Traitors, where you were trying to figure out what to wear for a particular casting interview. And I'd like to revisit that moment because this is GQ, and so it's apropos: at one point you texted me, midday, freaking out about needing to wear something to show yourself off properly. And what you texted me were a series of pants folded up into thirds, so I had no clue what they looked like. And then you also sent me some Vans that had tombstones on them, that you said you'd never worn.They were caskets. They weren't tombstones.The casket-adorned Vans in question. A pair of pants I was asked to assess as interview-worthy. Sorry. Caskets. And I guess I wondered, what did you end up wearing that sealed the deal on your opportunity at Traitors? And did the casket Vans ever actually see the light of day? Will we see them on the Traitors?The casket Vans sadly are still in a box up in my closet. I have not gotten to take them out yet. That particular interview, I wore a black shirt with pink flamingos on it.Tasteful.A black button down shirt, pink flamingos. And I feel like, what did I have on…chinos? I think, were they chocolate? They were chocolate colored khakis.Oh.Yeah, it was cool. And then the chunky Vans, the ’90s sort of Vans, silver, you'll see them on the show all the time with a silver stripe on them. So you did help me out. I did not know what I was doing, and you were my most fashionable friend, so I needed support in that area.Absolutely do not put the flamingo shirt on me. That is a hundred percent you, and I will not be accepting that.Jon Wilde said, "That flamingo shirt belongs everywhere."So that was another question I was going to ask, which is: Do you dress yourself for the show? Did you have to just bring three suitcases of clothes with you, or do they help dial in the Joe Vanella aesthetic?So mainly we provide our own stuff. There's no makeup people. There's nothing like that. We dress ourselves. We get a little guidance because in the past there's Housewives and they got Dolce Gabbana, they've got Chanel—and then I roll up and I got a bunch of Hanes Beefy-Ts and American Eagle jeans. It's a very big switch. But yeah, that stuff, that's mine. I love Hawaiian shirts, so it worked out well for me.You're wearing one right now.I am. Nothing says Hawaiian shirt climate like the mountains of the Scottish Highlands, right?Truly.The most tropical place you can think of.Absolutely. You've had some amazing moments. I would say you have been by far the most memed-slash-memeable contestant on this season of the Traitors. You kicked that off with a wink directly at the camera in episode one, and from then on, you've really manufactured a few wonderful ones. We'll get to the apple in a moment, but what I wanted to talk about really briefly was the moment with Michael, who's no longer on the show. You guys had a really lovely, beautiful moment where you were at the round table at the end of the day. You gave him some support in saying you did not think he was a Traitor. And then there's this really beautiful moment afterwards where he—and I'm paraphrasing here—but as a gay man, he says he grew up with a bunch of guys who looked and sounded like you—a.k.a., an extremely Italian dude from the deepest parts of Long Island. And he says he did not get a lot of respect, and did not feel very supported by those people as a gay kid. And he told you how much he appreciated that you stepped out and offered him support. I’m interested in what that moment was like for you: if you expected that, if you two had built something up until then? And also, how much weight you feel representing Long Island, which does come with some comical, but not always so comical, stereotypes.The Michael thing, when he came up to me in the Armory, I didn't expect it at all. I defended Michael because I got to know Michael. Michael was my day-one. We were in the Land Rover together going into the castle. I knew him from the very beginning. And he dropped that on me. I didn't think that I was doing anything except defending a friend at that point. It had nothing to do with gameplay. It's just somebody I care about who I saw was kind of getting railroaded, and I wanted to step in and stick up for him. But when he came up to me and he hit me with that, I was so honored. It's not anything that I ever expected, and it hit me in that moment. I'm like, man, I didn't want him to think it was gameplay.That was the most important thing. I didn't want to come off as not genuine. I didn't want him to get out of the game and be like, "Oh, this guy lied to me. What an asshole." So to have him feel that comfortable with me, to come up and share that moment with me, it just meant the world. And Michael and I are still such great friends. He's truly one of my best friends to come out of that castle. I talk to him every day. He's funny as hell. He's a great human being, and it feels so awful to hear that he had such a tough go in his childhood, especially being a father myself. I don't want any of my kids to feel that way. They're free to love whatever way they want to love, and everybody should feel that way. And to hear that he had a negative time growing up, it hit me right in my gut.Yeah, it was a really beautiful moment. You’ve mentioned maybe once or twice or 13 times that you're from Long Island.Yeah. Why won't you let me be proud of where I'm from?I want you to be proud. You're clearly proud. I love that about you. You've always been proud to be from Long Island. You love the Jets and the Islanders. And so in that way, I'm like, this is not a thing people choose. This is a thing they're obviously born into. But have you felt the need to represent Long Island in a better light? Is that fair to say? In a better-than-its-stereotype light?Long Island gets a bad rap. Long Islanders get a bad rap. I think, what was it? What was the show with the Seavers? Was that Family Ties? Michael J. Fox was on it? They lived on the North Shore of Long Island. They represented great. And sometime between Family Ties and now, Long Islanders get this rap like we're all loud oafs.Not you.[Laughing] When I think of loud oafs, Joe Vanella is at the very bottom. But I came into the game and the most important thing, I wanted to show myself as somebody from Long Island who's representing in a positive light. And people from Long Island have been so great and warm about backing me. My DMs are constantly filled with people saying, thank you for representing Long Island this way. And it warms my heart, because I love where I come from. I'm so proud. I think this is one of the greatest places to live. I think it's one of the greatest places to raise kids. Everything that you want is here. It's incredible. The people are awesome. Yes, they're loud. Yes, they're opinionated, but that doesn't make them bad. It just makes them sure of who they are. And I think that's a typical Long Islander.And for what it's worth, my dad is a Yankees, Giants, and Rangers fan, and I went against all his fandom to try and stick it to him, and it backfired totally against me.Yeah, that was brutal. That was a horrible choice on your part. You, by trade, are a funeral director. You've now achieved a fascinating level of public fame. Are people-Is it fame? Am I famous?You're re-’Gramming people who are going as you for Halloween and you've not been canceled. That's a pretty positive version of fame in 2026. It's not easy to thread that needle these days. Have you-People going as me as a Halloween costume is one of the craziest things that's ever happened. It's insane.Have people recognized you while you were…funerarily directing? Has that happened yet?Yes. In a couple of the funeral homes, I have been stopped and they're like, "Hey, do you ever get that you look like... Are you Joe from the Traitors?" And I'm like, "Yeah." And they've stopped me for pictures. I hate to say it's a fun thing because they're in this time of awful grief and then they're like, "Oh, they're the loud guy from Traitors. Let's grab a pic before we get into the limo." So it's sort of providing them with a story and some humor before they head off to the funeral. So I'm glad to bring that to them in those situations.What's it like walking around and having people know you? I mean, a month and a half ago, nobody save the most blessed among us knew Joe Vanella. And now you can walk around and people are like, "Oh wow, it's the Joe Vanella."The first time it happened, I was in Penn Station and I was Googling how to get to wherever I was going, and this girl came up to me and she's like, "Are you going to be on The Traitors?” I guess the cast was just released. And I'm like, "Yeah." And then she's like, "Oh, can we take a picture with you?" And I'm like, "For what?" And then they said, "Well, you're on The Traitors." And it took a minute. I'm like, "Oh, people actually want my picture." It's completely, completely bonkers. I had one person come up to me and they're like, "I'm so nervous." I'm like, "Why? Who cares? It's me. What am I? Just take my picture. You're fine. We can hang out." I was trick-or-treating with my kids, and I knocked on somebody's house, and the guy came to the door and he's like, "I was just watching you on the TV." And he called to his husband, and his husband came out and they're like, "You're literally on my TV right now.”It's crazy. It's something I can't wrap my head around because, like you said, six weeks ago, nobody really knew who I was. And now all of a sudden it's like, "Hey, can I get your picture?” all the time. And it's so cool, because I've always been a picture taker when I've seen anybody out who I recognize. I famously bothered Gina Gershon one night at a bar in, I think it was the Lower East Side, and she was an absolute sweetheart. But now people are doing that to me, I want to make sure that they walk away with a good opinion of me. And that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to show them I am who I am on the show, even outside.You want to pay it forward from Gina Gershon, as you rightly should. How does Meg, your wife, feel about this? She didn't get a choice in this matter.Well, listen, this whole thing without her never would've happened. I'm the luckiest guy. Today's actually my anniversary.Hey, congrats.Thank you. Thank you. I'm the luckiest guy in the world to have her because if she said no, if I couldn't go to Scotland, I would've never had this opportunity. And she stepped up so big, took care of the kids, took care of everything that had to be at home, didn't even hesitate. She goes, "If you get the chance, I want you to go." So she's handling this well. Again, this is her favorite show too. Her biggest thing, when I came home from Scotland, she said she didn't want to know anything. She didn't know if I was a traitor. She loves the show so much that she wanted to be surprised all way around.Was she surprised that you're such a good liar? Is she feeling good about that? It turns out you're a pretty solid liar. People believe that you're a good guy when you're out here murdering them night after night.No, I'm done. I'm cooked as far as that goes. The facade is down. She knows when I'm lying at this point. She doesn't trust me and she's right not to. I mean, you see what I'm doing every week. I wouldn't trust me either.It turns out you're spectacularly good at lying and you've let the whole world know about it. It seems like maybe misplaying your hand, but it's working out for you. Earlier, we briefly touched on your athletic ability, your prowess. It's not been great. Certainly the show spent a few moments within the scope of the challenges showing you splayed out, just really sucking air. And I wondered how that felt, seeing yourself laid out on the ground just like a fish on a pier.So if you watch that scene... Now, first of all, we're not even going to get into the fact that as time's expiring, I flew through the air like a Michael Jordan poster from 1993, dunking the bag of money into the barrel. I should be a poster in children's bedrooms at this point, just gracefully flying. But at that particular moment, I was lying on the ground and I remember looking up at the sky, and if you watch it, at first I'm distressed, but then I'm kind of smiling. As I'm collecting myself to continue to live, I looked up at the sky like, "How the hell did I get here?" It was such a great experience, and I was just in it at that moment, and realizing the gravity of everything, as exhausted as I was. And yeah, my cardio, not great, not great. I got a five-year-old, a four-year-old, and a two-year-old. I don't have time to go to the gym. My cardio is chasing them around the house. So at that particular moment, sweating next to a barrel in the Highlands of Scotland, I'm just like, man. It all hit me at once, and I'm just having the time of my life.I feel like we've got to really quickly talk about the apple. Obviously, the other big, big meme, and why people are dressing like you: As a traitor, you had to murder someone by throwing fruit to them. Hard episode to watch, because I was like, "Wow, only Victor's catching onto this?” The edit made it seem really obvious what you were up to. And what came out of that, across several episodes, besides what Victor termed “Fruitgate”, was you having to say the word “roughage” a lot as defense for why you were suddenly so obsessed with having an apple. But have you been eating more apples and roughage? Did that change your own approach to roughage and apples?Jon, I never want to see another apple in my life.That bad?I went to a wedding yesterday, somebody tossed an apple at me. It's like an everyday occurrence now. But what I want to point out is how important the social aspect of gameplay is there, because what was going on with Victor at that particular moment…Victor and I have very different styles. Victor's very analytical. He's good at what he does in that way. I'm very social. I'd pick up gummy bears and throw them at Mark. Mark would catch them in his mouth. I'd pick up beef jerky, which is constant. I was tossing something to somebody all the time. So now-You treat everybody like they're a Labrador retriever?Exactly. Listen, I'm telling you, Mark would win best in show if he ever tried in Madison Square Garden. But everybody's coming down on Morgan. They're like, "Morgan, you don't remember catching an apple?" Well, one, my social game I feel was strong enough that nobody's antenna was up on me at that point—except for Victor, because Victor and I had beefed, going back to the Michael thing, going back before that. And Morgan knows me as somebody who's playful, knows me as somebody who throws things around the castle, so she probably didn't think anything of it. Joe's just goofing off. That's what I was doing.What was the original question? I definitely talked too much.Mostly just, are you eating apples and roughage?Yeah, I'm trying to. My daughter has been shaming me. She's like, "Dad, you need to eat more fruits and vegetables," even though she doesn't eat any fruits and vegetables herself. So I have been trying to eat more. I've found a particular type of apple that I love. I think it's called Snapdragon or something like that, and it's very spicy. There's an apple orchard or an apple place out in Syosset over here that I go to and I get them, and they're fantastic. So I have been eating more apples.If nothing else, that's a win. What do you-Do you know how much haggis binds you up? The normal American hasn't had haggis. I ate about three tons of haggis when I was in Scotland. It's like cement, but it tastes great. People want to rag on haggis. I know in Armageddon, one of the greatest movies of all time, there's a haggis joke in it. You do need apples to move that stuff around in your stomach, otherwise you're going to have a real hard time.Got it. So it really was the haggis we're looking at as the problem. Were they serving haggis in the castle?Yeah. It's Scotland, baby. You get haggis all the time.Were you the only person eating haggis? It's not a thing most people coming from the U.S. are into.A lot of people were shying away. But you know what? They're just not adventurous.I know we've got to wrap up in a minute, but I do have to ask you: we go back a ways, known you more than 20 years. Part of that has been we've had-Did I drive you into Brooklyn when you moved there the first time? I feel like I did.I believe you did. Yeah, yeah.We listened to Wu-Tang clan and I moved you into Brooklyn.How else could we do it? So, most of the time we have spent as friends, we’ve also been in a fantasy baseball league, of which you've been commissioner. We've had our differences in terms of your commissioning style. But as I think you remember, I won the championship this year.Yeah, you won this year. You beat me.That's right. Anyways, thank you for the interview. It's been a pleasure.Because I was in Alan's castle for a period of time during this season. We're going to leave that out.I'm sorry you lost this season. It's been a pleasure speaking to you. I’ll see you, I don't know…I'll see you on my TV, I guess.I love you, pal.Love you, buddy.Sign up for Manual to receive useful advice on style, health, and more, six days a week.Jon Wilde is the former Global Digital Director of GQ, having spent more than a decade across print, web, video, social, and more—including building out and growing GQ Recommends. He has gone on to be SVP of editorial at BDG and editor in chief of Motorsport.com. ... Read More