ITV’s baffling The Chase spin-off is utter carnage & out-of-control plagiarism just damages underrated original

THERE are worse combinations of shows ITV could’ve tried to weld together for light entertainment purposes, I’m sure. Like Cleverdicks and Naked Attraction, for starters. ITV’s baffling The Chase spin-off is utter carnage & out-of-control plagiarism just damages underrated original Credit: itv The Chase Around The World is a baffling hour of television where both everything and nothing seems to be happening all at once Credit: ITV Or Pets Wins Prizes and The Dog Meat Professionals, for another. But fair play to the network’s creative division who have at least tried to keep it mainstream with this next spin-off show. They’re clearly meticulously polite as well. Because when someone suggested combining BBC1’s travel adventure format Race Across The World with daytime quiz fixture The Chase, across six European cities, absolutely no one in the room yelled: “Are you out of your mind? It’ll never work.” A huge error of judgement, in hindsight. ’Cos the result is perfect chaos on The Chase Around The World. An epic muddle of a TV show, very briefly hosted by Bradley Walsh, which has a clearly defined beginning, at Rome’s Colosseum, and a reasonably precise end, involving a showdown against a pair of Chasers, at the city’s Spanish Steps. In between those two points, however . . . It’s utter carnage. A baffling hour of television where both everything and nothing seems to be happening all at once. And no-one gets eliminated. The obvious problem, of course, is the total incompatibility of the two formats which was always going to end with one of the shows consuming the other. It should really have come as no sort of surprise to anyone that Race Across The World would win this battle as, in terms of a venue, an Italian roundabout, during rush hour, doesn’t exactly scream: “QUIZ SHOW.” For the sake of its own dignity, ITV must pretend otherwise, though, so it’s randomly clamped some of The Chase’s furniture onto proceedings. Two of The Chasers, Anne “The Governess” Hegerty and Mark “The Beast” Labbett, spend the duration lurking behind Italian newspapers and asking questions, via a tablet, and the traditional theme tune is also sawing away in the background. A musical flourish, incidentally, that suits Rome about as well as a burst of Knees Up Mother Brown. ITV’s out-of-control plagiarism is damaging The Chase, which is one of the most underrated shows on TV Credit: ITV If you still imagine you’ll be able to get all misty-eyed about the beautiful Italian capital, though, I need to manage expectations even further here. You won’t because, as the disembodied voice of Bradley Walsh explains: “You’ve reached the stunning Pincio gardens. “But there’s no time to take in the scenery,” as the contestants have to identify “The Italian astronomer mentioned in Bohemian Rhapsody,” who definitely isn’t Luigi Fandango. The real clue to the dominant partner in this Frankenstein creation, however, comes with the players. As with the BBC show, there are six pairs competing for £100,000, who have mostly been chosen for their interesting chemistry rather than their outstanding general knowledge, including father/daughter combo Ashwin and Nikita who seem to think the pop group Steps comprised Sir Ian McKellen, Claire Danes and Lisa Kudrow. If only. For most of the contest, though, The Chase half of the equation seems like an unwelcome intrusion for all of the couples and it’s not much of a surprise when, three quarters of the way through the show, an exasperated Dilan takes the huff and sighs: “This quiz is annoying.” He’s not wrong either. My own irritation, though, stems not just from the disarray on screen and ITV’s out-of-control plagiarism but the fact it’s damaging The Chase, which is one of the most underrated shows on TV and has both a brilliant format and host who deserve better. With both of those winning ingredients effectively nobbled here, I watched and hoped the contestants would at least provide a few of those spontaneously barmy answers that have, let’s face it, kept this column functioning for 25 years. In the event, there was just one, from Dilan’s partner Emily, which was worthy of inclusion. “Who is the Italian general that shares his name with a British biscuit?” “Custard Cream.” As Bradley would say, Emily, you’re better than that. Unexpected moron in the bagging area THE Weakest Link, Romesh Ranganathan: “In customs, the expression ‘many happy returns’ is typically used on what occasion?” Konan: “Christmas.” Romesh: “In football, which team nicknamed The Toffees plays against Liverpool in the Merseyside derby?” Shappi Khorsandi: “Tottenham.” Tipping Point, Ben Shephard: “Clarissa Dickson Wright and Jennifer Paterson were better known as which television cookery double act?” Lauren: “The Hairy Bikers.” Harsh. IT’S NO ENDER EXITS To offset the losses, they’ve hired Ronni Ancona, from The Big Impression Credit: PA UNLIKE Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood, EastEnders has been operating a relatively successful one-in, one-out policy, since the last quarterly review. It means, no sooner has Sharon Watts arrived, than Grant Mitchell’s forcibly deported to Portugal in the back of a London cab. He’ll return, of course. But there’s no way back for Nigel (dead), his wife Julie (couldn’t be arsed hanging around), or Dr Anthony Trueman who was bludgeoned to death with a lamp by his biological daughter Jasmine. True, dad Patrick did briefly fill the void with an AI version of his son, who was a hell of a lot more animated and entertaining than the real thing, but there is a strict system in place and endless supply of jobbing actors. So to offset the losses, they’ve hired Ronni Ancona, from The Big Impression, as mad Bea Pollard and Dawn ‘Lexie McTavish’ Steele, off Monarch Of The Glen, as Sandra, along with her gay son Josh. Kim Medcalf has also finally nailed down the role of Sam Mitchell, which she previously had on a job share scheme with Joe Bugner. The most significant reappearance, though, is Max ‘The Mekon’ Branning, played by Jake Wood who can really act despite being lumbered with a backstory that asks us to believe two of his children, Bradley and Abi, have fallen to their deaths from the Queen Vic roof. A third would definitely push the bounds of credibility way beyond breaking point. However, if his noisy, bisexual earache of a son, Oscar, took exactly the same plunge, I would suspend all disbelief indefinitely. Fly, my pretty, fly. FERN Britton: Inside The Vet’s, spaniel update: “The King Charles needs to return and be spayed in three weeks’ time.” Though not as urgently as The Former Prince Andrew does. AND the award for the least appropriately named dog about to be castrated on Fern Britton’s Inside The Vet’s . . . ? “He’s Zen.” I’ll bet he’s not. Random TV irritations GMB’s Kate Garraway and Ranvir Singh pretending to like and understand football. Chef Asma Khan hijacking Saturday Kitchen Live for very dubious anti-British political propaganda. Wimbledon’s Tim Henman called Andre Agassi “Double A.” And Nothing To Hide’s Katie Price still sounding genuinely crestfallen that Dane Bowers “didn’t react” when she broke into his flat and stole his footwear. Then date Oscar Pistorius, Katie. I can almost guarantee you he will. TV gold BBC1’s coverage of Argentina V England was generally excellent Credit: BBC BBC2 repeating the Deadly Attachment (“Don’t tell him, Pike”) episode of Dad’s Army. James Fleet and Mark Frost standing out as Bobby and Eddie the loan-shark, in BBC1’s vaguely diverting I, Jack Wright whodunnit. BBC1’s generally excellent coverage of Wednesday’s Argentina V England semi-final, which was perfectly summed-up by Joe Hart: “England locked the door, but it freed up Lionel Messi, who’s got a skeleton key.” And Chris Packham’s fascinating and beautifully-illustrated BBC2 series Evolution revealing: “LUCA is the Last Universal Common Ancestor, a single-celled organism floating around in a world entirely alien to our own which gave rise to every living thing on the planet,” and not, as I thought, the runner-up on Love Island 2022. Great sporting insights EMMA Hayes: “Haiti have got to do betterer.” Ian Wright: “He’s made the keeper make a save that he hasn’t made.” And Andrew Castle: “Sinner on top in every single department but it’s still even-stevens in this second set.” (Compiled by Graham Wray) Lookalike of the week This week’s winner is billionaire ruler of Dubai, Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Maktoum, and Zak Dingle from Emmerdale Credit: Supplied Sent in by Andy Griffiths, Wakefield. GREAT TV lies and delusions of the week. Good Morning Britain, Wednesday, Ed Balls: “If Keir Starmer doesn’t go to the World Cup final, it might jinx England’s chances.” Saturday Kitchen Live, Matt Tebbutt to Tom Read Wilson: “You are adored and loved by millions.” And X, Piers Morgan, 9:33pm, Wednesday: “This has been a Tuchel tactical masterclass. Take us home, Tommy.” On their way, moron. A NEW political low. Good Morning Britain, Tuesday, 6:48, Kevin Maguire: “Reform, it’s quite clear, are using the murder of Ann Widdecombe as a diversion over rows over money.” Or maybe they are just grief-stricken and shocked over the murder of a colleague and it’s you who should have a day off from the toxic, tribal, obsessive left-wing prejudices which you mistake for compassion, Kevin.