I'm a matchmaker who works with older adults. People in their 70s are looking for someone to share a life with, not build one.

I'm a matchmaker who works with older adults. People in their 70s are looking for someone to share a life with, not build one. Brigitte Weil is a matchmaker who works with older clients. Photo Credit: Andrew French This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Brigitte Weil. It has been edited for length and clarity.My parents have been married for 62 years, and my grandparents were married for 76. I've always been surrounded by longevity in relationships, and it's something that captivates me. Becoming a matchmaker who works with older adults was a natural fit.Dating in your 70s or older is radically different from dating in your 30s or even 50s. Younger people are looking for someone to build a life with, but older people are seeking someone who can share a life that's already been created.Lifestyle compatibility becomes critical with ageWhen I match older clients, I need to know that their lifestyles will mesh well. We're talking less about chemistry, or someone who checks all the boxes, and more about how their lifestyles can be shared.Older clients care less about a man's height or a woman's appearance in a bikini. Even finances play a smaller role.Instead, geography becomes a big issue: many people don't want to move and give up their community and family connections. To find long-term love, clients must share values on topics such as grandchildren and travel.People know their nonnegotiablesFinding lifestyle compatibility can be a challenge. People become wiser with age, and they know themselves. They know what they're willing to compromise on, and what they're not.Take my client Sol, who at 96 is by far the oldest person I've worked with. Sol wants a woman to wake up next to every morning. He's not alone — most of my clients want cohabitation, even as marriage becomes less important to many of them.Sol's been on some great dates, but many of the women his age aren't interested in moving house. They already have their routines. She says her older clients know what they want in a partner. Photo Credit: Andrew French My clients are building on their experience with loveRarely do I work with someone who's never been married before; Most of my clients are divorced or widowed. Widowed clients usually start by telling me exactly what they want in a relationship. They've experienced a loving partner, and know what qualities and traits matter most to them.Divorced people, on the other hand, tend to tell me what they don't want. They're looking to make different choices this time around and create a healthier, happier relationship than the one they left behind.Both types of clients often need a little encouragement. They need to know it's possible for them to fall in love again. I teach them they're not starting over; they're building on all the experiences they've had.A date gone wrong led to loveOne of my favorite success stories is of a couple who were both right around 70 when they met. For both of them, going on this date was a big deal. I was excited for them, but the day of the date, the man called to say the lady didn't show. That was unlike her.A moment later, my phone rang. My client was frantic — she'd gotten a flat tire on the New Jersey Turnpike, and was waiting for AAA to come replace it. When I told her date, he insisted on going to wait with her. She was frazzled, her hairstyle and makeup drooping, but she appreciated the gesture.He waited with her until the fire was fixed, then they headed home. A week or so later, he asked her out on a proper date. Now, they travel the world together, sending me pictures from all these beautiful locations.I'm getting married this fallLots of people want to know about the matchmaker's love life. I'm divorced, and was single for about 10 years. I did a fair amount of dating, but dating as a matchmaker was hard. I was constantly exposed to so many wonderful single people. Yet, that reminded me that there's not just one great person out there.I met my now-fiancé, Michael, through my matchmaking network about five years ago. We were absolutely meant to meet when we did. I really admire Michael for the choices he's made in raising his own family. That admiration just melted me. We're getting married in November. Read next Kelly Burch has been writing about personal finance for more than a decade.She's particularly interested in how finances impact the most intimate parts of a person’s life, from educational and reproductive choices to love, immigration, or estate planning. Kelly has written about these topics personally and explored them with experts, including entrepreneurs, multi-millionaires, financial planners, and more.Kelly is a first-generation college graduate and homeowner who integrates her personal experience creating financial stability into her reporting. She’s a career journalist, with work appearing in “The Washington Post,” “The Chicago Tribune,” “Boston Magazine” and more.Kelly lives in rural New Hampshire with her husband, two children, and two dogs. When she’s not behind her desk, she can be found getting lost in the mountains and lakes around her home.Follow her on Facebook or Twitter, or learn more here. as told to Health Dating More