I know so many women who tick every box but just can't find love. The problem? They're TOO intelligent. Here's why being clever can secretly sabotage your romantic life - and 5 ways to put things right : TRACEY COX

You've got the career, your own flat, can dissect a legal contract in your sleep and negotiate a pay rise without blinking.Your many friends adore you and are constantly saying, 'I can't understand why you don't have men queueing around the block. You're amazing!'.You don't look half bad, either, so why are you still single at 37 while all your friends are hitched? Here's a possible reason: Could it be that you're too clever for love?I'm not talking about intelligence being threatening to men even if some men are threatened by it. I'm suggesting the very skills that make you brilliant at your job - analysing, problem-solving, spotting patterns - can actively sabotage romantic relationships.I've spent a lifetime talking to smart women who tick every box for what's attractive but find dating much harder than they should.Here's four reasons why intelligent women may find it harder to find love. British sex and relationships expert Tracey Cox (pictured) tells why smart women often make bad dating decisionsYou overthink everything'I once spent three days analysing why this guy used a certain word in a sentence when it wasn't accurate,' a 31-year-old management consultant told me. 'I was trying to decide if I could date someone who did things like that. By the time I texted him back, he'd met someone else.'Intelligent women are trained to analyse. But relationships start based on things you can't measure. Like chemistry, feelings and connection. Sharing the same sense of humour. The erotic 'lovemap' in your head you're not even aware of that makes you fancy the person who isn't your type at all for reasons you can't quite explain.The same women who pride themselves on trusting data will often ignore the most reliable finding of all when it comes to relationships. How someone makes us feel consistently trumps any 'must be wealthy', 'must be tall' checklist. A spark can make all those 'must haves' disappear in a puff.Mr Perfect on Paper might well be a suitable and logical choice but if the attraction isn't there you'll be bored senseless within weeks.Love isn't logicalClever women are natural problem solvers. But you can't approach being single (and not wanting to be) the way you solve everything else.'I get frustrated when I explain my needs clearly to whoever I'm dating and the guy still can't meet them,' one perpetually single, very attractive friend told me. 'Why can't he? I'm not asking for impossible things.''Because he's emotionally unavailable and no amount of reasonable negotiation is going to make him any more available to you?', I venture.'But if he doesn't want to get involved, why is he out there dating?' she counters, with perfect logic.Great point - but this is why logic and love don't mix well. Women who trust their instincts have a much happier, successful time dating. Trust your gut not your brain on this one.Your standards are sky highHigh-achieving women are used to excellence - in themselves and what they expect from others.This is not inherently a bad thing - in fact, I wish all women would expect more from men.Where it becomes a problem is when high standards become a checklist no fallible human being is ever going to pass.He must be more successful than me or at least as successful but not someone who works all the time. I want a man who's emotionally intelligent and able to show and express love but not someone who's needy. He's got to get on with his mother but not that well. I don't care if he's not big on theatre, but I couldn't be with someone who didn't appreciate good music...Psychologists call this 'maximising' - the belief that if you search hard enough, a flawless, perfect option will appear. But there is no perfect partner or perfect love.It's a fantasy.Fierce independence can be off-puttingIt took me until the age of 45 to realise that showing vulnerability didn't make you look weak, it makes you more attractive.I'd been to see a therapist about some relationship related issues (people who advise also need advice sometimes) and he questioned my need to do everything myself. Even things I was clearly rubbish at.'Have you ever asked a partner for help?' he asked. I pulled back and looked at him in horror. 'I don't need help!', I spluttered. 'I can do everything myself!'.It was true - I didn't need rescuing. I could fix my own boiler problems (call a plumber). Pay my own bills. Be entirely self-sufficient.I was proud of my independence. But I was also aware it was a shield against being hurt. If you never need anyone, you can't be let down by them.I wanted a relationship but kept every partner at arm's length. Making them fit around my packed diary, resisting merging lives, feeling suffocated the minute they got too close.Independence is a strength but using it to avoid intimacy is something else entirely.Visit traceycox.com for more info on Tracey's books, blogs and products. Follow her @traceycoxsexauthor. 5 WAYS TO STOP OVERTHINKING A RELATIONSHIP Re-reading a text for the fifth time, hunting for a hidden meaning that isn't there? Do this instead...Set a 10-minute rule. Give yourself ten minutes to think through whatever is bothering you, then stop. If it's still niggling tomorrow, revisit it then. Most of the time, it won't be.Ask yourself, 'Would I even remember this in a year?'. It's a great way to sort genuine concerns from useless fixating in all aspects of life. Stop sweating the small stuff.Say what you're thinking out loud to a friend. Overthinking seems perfectly logical in your head. Say it out loud to a friend and it suddenly sounds ridiculously flimsy.Replace 'what does this mean?' with 'how do I feel right now?'. Rather than analyse someone else's behaviour, a far more useful question is how are you feeling about it all? Are you enjoying this person's company even if they aren't adhering to your (rigid) criteria?Give new relationships six months before you give a verdict. Overthinkers like to reach a decision early so they can stop feeling uncertain. Force yourself to be in the moment and see where the ride takes you rather than pressure yourself to reach a conclusion.