Gov Umo Eno: A Tale of Bread and the Missing Fish

You know Governor Eno is a pastor, so he must know very well the story of how Jesus Christ fed the multitude with five loaves and aghhhhh, I cannot remember how many fish ooo. To think that I was once a Sunday school teacher, I cannot believe it. Anyways, that is how Governor Eno performed what is called a remix. He took the biblical story and added Remi Tinubu’s advice on the akara and came out with a classic. He said he used to sell bread and akara on the road to Mobil in Eket and.. Wait for it, used to make N10m monthly. Ohh my God! As if that wasn’t enough, he added spice to the gist – when the business was booming, he added coffee. Coffee ooo, not palm wine or ‘ufofop’ which is the Ibibio word for gin or spirits that is the favourite of people in that and from that area. Anyways, then he was not yet a governor, so he had no airs around him as he ran about making entrepreneurial history with his SME, which was really not an SME but a fast-rising corporation that Forbes should have recognised if he was still in the business. As he spoke, we saw regret and pride in his eyes as his bald head shone towards the bright Akwa Ibom skies. This is yet another powerful validation of Remi Tinubu’s advice on the power of akara, and we are still not listening? N10million a month? And he left all of that to go and be a governor? With all the insults that come with that? My people, we are as stubborn as the children of Israel on the way out of Egypt and in the wilderness. We do not listen to our prophets; hence all the suffering. Our prophets keep showing us the light, and yet we can’t see it. Akara is the way to go. President Bola Tinubu has talked about agbado, and his wife, the First Lady, keeps talking about akara, and we are still here searching when the answer to our suffering is staring us in the face – Akara, bread and a little dose of coffee, and we are good. This is what in Shomolu we used to call Fabu, and if Governor Eno ever appeared in Shomolu for anything, we will give him a chieftaincy title – Fabu Master. Kai! Don’t let me laugh this morning. I can’t find my morning ‘wood ‘; it’s not a laughing matter. Kai!