Gemma Collins says her 'grief hurts so much' as she reflects on how she has got through the 'painful days' after her beloved mum's death

Published: 10:52 EST, 14 November 2026 | Updated: 10:52 EST, 14 November 2026 Gemma Collins has spoken out on the weight of her grief after her beloved mother Joan passed away in July. The former TOWIE star, 45, took to Instagram on Saturday to reflect on how tough the past few months have been and why she is letting herself 'heal at my own pace'. Joan passed away on July 29 at the age of 70, a month after she was rushed to hospital with pneumonia for the second time in six months.Sharing a video on a dog walk, Gemma told her followers: 'These quiet November morning walks are helping me through some painful days. 'Grief hurts so much, and right now all I can do is get outside, breathe and take things gently. Some days, that’s enough. I always feel a little lighter after a walk. 'The fresh air, the quiet and the leaves under my feet give me space to breathe and let myself heal at my own pace. Wishing you all a blessed beautiful wholesome weekend.' Gemma Collins has spoken out on the weight of her grief after her beloved mother Joan passed away in July Joan passed away on July 29 at the age of 70, a month after she was rushed to hospital with pneumonia for the second time in six monthsGemma's friends Jedward commented: 'Nature is spiritually healing.' Other fans posted: 'Sending you a big hug' and 'I completely understand.' Gemma also revealed she has suffered a kidney infection, flu and chest infection in the past few weeks and desperately needs some 'healing energy'.She also posted on Instagram: 'Healing energy needed. The last 4 weeks have consisted of a kidney infection, the flu, chest infection!!!'You name it but it's time just to let it all come out the body. Hot tubs saunas steam walks air and crystals and ginger shots. Weekend activation on.'Gemma recently revealed that her beloved mum died the day before her planned wedding to Rami Hawash.On ITV's Big Brother in October, Gemma revealed her mum's health declined 24 hours before planning to marry the businessman, whom she has dated on-and-off since 2011 and got engaged to for a third time during a getaway to the Maldives in February 2024.Speaking to some of the housemates in the garden, celebrity house guest Gemma said: 'She was an amazing woman and I had an amazing 45 years with her. I was with her every day.' Sharing a video on a dog walk, Gemma told her followers: 'These quiet November morning walks are helping me through some painful days' Gemma's friends Jedward commented: 'Nature is spiritually healing.' Other fans posted: 'Sending you a big hug' and 'I completely understand'After sharing she had to 'try and find the strength to carry on' following Joan's death, The Only Way Is Essex alum revealed: 'I was meant to get married on the Thursday and my mum passed away on the Wednesday. What can you do?'Gemma quipped: 'To be honest, it was all a rush anyway; I ordered a dress off Shein; it would not have gone down well.'On July 29, she took to Instagram to announce Joan's passing.Gemma shared a sweet black-and-white shot of her mum as a youngster, with the caption: 'Today our beautiful mum passed away peacefully surrounded by LOVE.'Mum, today, every piece of my heart left with you.'No words will ever be enough to thank you for loving me, guiding me, and being my mum. You gave me life, you gave me strength, and you gave me memories that I will carry for every day I have left.'The house will never sound the same without you. Your voice, your smile, your little ways, they are woven into every corner of my life. I will miss you more than I could ever put into words.'