Etiquette experts reveal the gifts you should NEVER give a dinner party host - after guests were advised to bring a jar of pickles instead of wine

With the festive season fast approaching, your diary is likely filling up with dinner party invites, but do you know what to carry to them? Wine may have been the norm a decade ago, but etiquette experts say you need to try harder than a bottle of red if you really want to impress your hosts in 2026. Chic pantry items like extra-virgin olive oil, Perella olives or truffle nuts, and even elevated store cupboard essentials like beautifully decorated tins of tuna have soared in popularity in the UK in recent years. And now pickles have become the latest must-give gourmet present, with guests notching up extra points if they are homemade or presented in a pretty glass jar. Former royal butler Julius Smith told the Daily Mail that pickles can be a great gift for the right host or hostess, much like artisanal cheeses or even flowers. The most important thing is to consider their tastes and preferences - instead of thoughtlessly buying the buzziest gift on social media, the etiquette expert and founder of Regal Afternoon Tea warned. But wine is never appropriate, according to Mr Smith, who ranked the best - and worst gifts - to carry to a dinner party. To gift or not to gift? Etiquette expert reveals what to take to a dinner party this season A bottle of wineAlthough a bottle of wine or bubbly is a common choice, Mr Smith told the Daily Mail he avoids bringing alcohol to a dinner party. 'The trouble is that your host may already have chosen a rather lovely bottle of wine to serve with dinner, but when you arrive with your own, they may feel obliged to open yours instead.'I think that is rather a shame, particularly if they have gone to the trouble of choosing something special to accompany the meal.'When you bring somebody a bottle of wine, it should be a gift for them to enjoy at their leisure, not something you expect them to open there and then, he reasoned. Cheese and charcuterie A beautifully laid out charcuterie board can be a hit or miss, according to Mr Smith The etiquette expert said he would only bring cheese and crackers to someone's home if he knew them very well or whose tastes he was familiar with. 'I can quite imagine arriving at a friend’s house on a Saturday evening with a lovely selection of cheeses, knowing that it is something they would enjoy,' Mr Smith, who founded Regal Afternoon Tea, said. 'I wouldn’t necessarily take a charcuterie plate to a more formal occasion. Your host may already have planned the food, and you don’t want them to feel obliged to serve something they hadn’t intended.'A jar of pickles Asked whether pickles make a proper gift, the former royal butler agreed it's a 'lovely idea' as long as you know the host's tastes and preferences.'If you know somebody absolutely adores pickles, homemade chutneys or other condiments, then a beautiful jar of something special can make a very thoughtful gift.'However, I wouldn’t turn up with a jar of pickles for somebody whose tastes I know nothing about. The important thing is that they actually enjoy your gift.' Chocolates Mr Smith warned against taking a generic box of chocolatesMr Smith suggested skipping the box of chocolates because people have become particular about what makes a good chocolate these days. 'If you are going to give chocolates, I think you should push the boat out a little and choose something really lovely.'For example, if you’ve just returned from Brussels and brought back some beautiful Belgian chocolates, I think that would be perfectly acceptable and a thoughtful gift.'Premium Extra Virgin Olive Oil Gifts like premium extra-virgin olive oil are especially considerate since they can be used long after the partyA bottle of premium extra virgin olive oil from a brand like Citizens of Soil or The Governor will almost always win you another invite. 'A really good extra virgin oil is something that people are likely to use, and I particularly like it when there is a little story behind it.'Perhaps you’ve brought it back from a trip to Italy or Greece, or discovered a wonderful local producer. That makes it feel all the more special.Mr Smith said another gift that's just as thoughtful as it is useful would be a 'really good jar of honey' that people can enjoy long after the gathering is over.CandlesAnother popular choice that Mr Smith 'wouldn't recommend' is giving your host candles because 'fragrance can be such a personal thing'. 'What I absolutely love, you may not be able to stand, and I think it is such a shame to spend £20, £30 or even £40 on a candle that somebody doesn't particularly like.'Unless you know exactly what fragrance your host enjoys, it's best to avoid buying them a candle - especially if it gives them a headache. FlowersNot everybody enjoys receiving flowers, and for some people they can bring back rather sad memories or associations, Mr Smith cautioned. 'There is also the practical side to consider. If your host is in the middle of preparing Christmas dinner, the last thing they may want is to start searching for a vase and arranging a large bouquet.'If you know somebody loves flowers, then by all means bring them. Otherwise, I would give it a little more thought.'A basket of seasonal fruitA beautiful basket of fruit can be a very nice present as long as it's seasonal and nicely presented, he added. 'I can particularly imagine it being a lovely gesture on a beautiful summer's day, with a selection of fresh, seasonal produce.'For Christmas, I would simply make sure the fruit is appropriate to the season and nicely presented. As with most gifts, it is knowing what the person likes that makes the difference.'A loaf of artisanal bread Mr Smith was divided over whethe you should carry a loaf of bread to a party This depends entirely on the occasion, as Mr Smith noted giving someone a high-quality loaf of bread or a selection of pastries can either be 'lovely' or inappropriate.'If you are visiting somebody in the morning, for example, a lovely selection of fresh pastries could be a very nice gesture, particularly if you know they enjoy that sort of thing.'But I wouldn't necessarily arrive at a formal Christmas dinner carrying a loaf of bread. It is simply a question of choosing something appropriate for the occasion.'A home-cooked dish There's nothing wrong with carrying a casserole to a dinner party but Mr Smith recommends asking beforehand. 'Never assume that your host needs extra food, because they may already have everything planned.'And if somebody brings a casserole or another dish to your home, do make sure you wash their dish before they leave so they can take it home clean. It is a small thing, but I have always believed that these little courtesies are what good manners are all about.'