Chennai man shares how treating workers, service staff well made him rethink kindness

A Chennai man's Reddit post described how gestures towards workers and service staff left him feeling exploited. The discussion then widened into a debate on politeness, trust and personal boundaries.Chennai man shares how treating workers, service staff well made him rethink kindness (Photo: Representational Image from Pexels)A Chennai man's attempt to make things easier for workers at his newly built home left him questioning whether kindness was being mistaken for weakness.The man shared his experience in a Reddit post on r/ThirtiesIndia, titled, “Learnt my lesson: Don’t be kind to workers in India,” where he described several instances in which he felt his efforts to treat workers and service staff respectfully had ended up being taken advantage of.The Reddit user said he was generally soft-spoken and introverted and made it a point to address everyone respectfully, whether they were electricians, cab drivers or retail employees.He said he believed everyone was equal and disliked the “feudalistic” manner in which workers and retail staff were sometimes treated. However, an incident at his newly constructed home made him reconsider that approach.He explained that workers were carrying out some work near the porch, where the electricity was usually switched off by engineers and supervisors. Since there was no supervisor present for the minor work, he deliberately kept the power on so the workers could use the fans and lights while working. “I live in Chennai and I know how hot it can be,” he wrote.But when the workers left for the day, they apparently left the fan and light running. The man said he was then forced to travel all the way to the site simply to switch them off.He recalled another incident in which he allowed workers to use the toilet at his house because he felt it was inhumane to prevent someone from using a restroom. According to him, what happened afterwards made him decide that he would not offer the same convenience again.The man also said his experiences were not limited to construction workers. He claimed that a retail employee once added items he had not purchased to his bill, which he believed happened because he had been particularly polite and respectful towards the employee.He said he eventually had to threaten to complain to the company's head office before the employee returned the excess money and apologised.He added that he had faced similar experiences with cab drivers and delivery agents, making him feel that being overly accommodating could sometimes make people view him as an easy target.His friend, who works closely with labourers through his business, reportedly offered him an explanation: treating workers kindly could make them feel that someone was different from those who usually treated them poorly, but they could also interpret that kindness as weakness and try to take advantage of it.The man contrasted his experiences in India with his time in the UK, saying that although difficult people existed everywhere, he felt kindness there was less likely to be interpreted as an invitation to exploit someone.Take a look at the post here:The post led to a wider discussion among Reddit users, with several people relating to the feeling of being taken advantage of because they were soft-spoken or accommodating.Some users described the issue as a “low trust society” problem, where people attempted to take advantage of others before they themselves could be exploited.Others said they too had been treated as easy targets because of their polite nature, with one user saying that repeatedly being kind had made them feel like people would simply “walk all over” them.Another commenter initially disagreed with the post's title but said their own experiences working with Indian-origin carpenters and labourers in Guyana had led them to a similar conclusion, claiming that being more accommodating sometimes resulted in them being treated with less respect.While the comments largely focused on the poster's experiences, the discussion also raised a broader question about the difference between kindness and allowing others to cross personal boundaries.- EndsPublished By: Yashna TalwarPublished On: Aug 28, 2026 15:57 IST