Are YOU a nuisance in retirement? From texting family in the day to asking people to guess your age, former royal butler reveals the etiquette dos and don'ts every boomer needs to know

The alarm rings at 5am – just like it has for the last 40-odd years. But suddenly there's nowhere you need to go. No job to rush to, no children to try and encourage out the door. Instead, if you're lucky, your day is entirely your own once you reach retirement.Yet with so much free time, it could be that you soon find yourself falling into bad habits, such as non-stop contacting your loved ones during the day, repeating familiar jokes or asking anyone who will listen to guess your age (now that you have that glowing, post-work spring in your step).So, whilst it's admittedly unpleasant to contemplate, you might eventually have become a nuisance – or worse, a bore – in retirement.But fear not. Thankfully, former royal butler and founder of Regal Afternoon Tea, Julius F. Smith, has revealed the 17 dos and don'ts of retirement – from dressing your age to not bragging that you've been on a third cruise already this year. Below, he shares the modern day etiquette to retirement... Alan Arkin, Morgan Freeman and Sir Michael Caine playing three retired lifelong friends in the 2017 comedy film Going in StyleDON'T... keep checking in on your former work colleaguesOnce you’ve left, you've left. There is nothing worse than somebody who retires but can't quite bring themselves to let go.Don't constantly message your former colleagues wanting to know the latest gossip or popping back into the office because you happen to be passing. If there is important news, I'm sure somebody will tell you.You had your time there. Allow the people who are still working to get on with theirs.... brag that this is your third cruise alreadyNobody wants to endlessly hear that retirement is the best thing that ever happened to you and that you and your wife or husband have just returned from your third or fourth cruise of the year.There is nothing wrong with enjoying yourself. You've worked for it. But constantly telling people about your holidays, particularly when they are still getting up for work every morning, is simply showing off.All it does is store up envy – and nobody likes someone who brags.... spend all your time watching daytime television Besides anything else, if you're sitting in front of the television from morning until afternoon, you're probably going to start getting under your partner's feet.And nobody wants to meet you at the pub or social club only to hear a detailed account of what happened on Good Morning Britain that day.Retirement should be an opportunity to do all the things you didn't have time to do when you were working. It would be rather a shame to spend it watching TV all day.... tell people about your improved golf handicapThere is nothing more insensitive in retirement than telling your former colleagues that you are on the first tee at nine o'clock on Monday morning while they are sitting at their desks. And believe me, none of them are remotely interested in hearing that your golf handicap has improved since you stopped working.Enjoy your retirement by all means, but you don't need to give everybody who is still working a running commentary on how marvellous it is.... ask people to guess your ageThere is a strange habit people sometimes develop as they get older of asking, 'How old do you think I am?'It puts the other person in an impossible position. Guess too young, and it sounds insincere. Guess too old, and you've potentially ruined their afternoon.If somebody asks your age and you're happy to tell them, by all means do. But don't turn every conversation into a guessing game about how youthful you look.... buy a sports car the moment you retireThis isn't strictly etiquette, but I would strongly advise against rushing out the moment you retire and buying a sports car in an attempt to prove you're young again.If you've always wanted one and can afford it, wonderful. But retirement shouldn't become an excuse for trying to recreate your twenties.There is something far more attractive about growing older gracefully than desperately trying to convince everybody that you haven't.... rewrite your will every time somebody annoys youThis happens far more often than you might imagine.When people retire, they suddenly have more time to dwell on things. A son doesn't call for a few days, a daughter doesn't visit when she said she would or somebody forgets a birthday – and suddenly retirees are threatening to go to the solicitor and change the will.Don't use your will as a weapon every time a member of the family disappoints you. People have jobs, children and lives of their own. They can't necessarily drop everything because you've got a free Tuesday.... say 'back in my day'There are few phrases guaranteed to make a younger person's eyes roll faster than 'back in my day'.Of course things were different. However, the world moves on.There is nothing wrong with talking about your experiences, but don't assume that because something was done differently 40 years ago, it was done better.... let every afternoon become cocktail hourThere is a genuine danger when you retire that the occasional lunchtime drink becomes a daily habit.With no alarm clock to worry about the next morning, an afternoon at the pub, golf club or simply drinking at home can very easily become part of the routine.Apart from the obvious health implications, too much alcohol rarely improves anybody's manners. Retirement should expand your world, not reduce it to the journey between your house and the bar.DO... dress your age, not your grandson'sI see so many men in their late 60s who suddenly start dressing like their sons or even their grandsons.I'm not suggesting that the moment you retire you have to start dressing like an old person. But there is something rather undignified about desperately trying to look 30 years younger than you are.Dress stylishly and enjoy clothes – but don't try to look like the younger generation.... give your partner space One of the dangers of retirement is suddenly finding yourself with an enormous amount of time on your hands and no idea what to do with it.If your husband or wife has spent decades used to you being out of the house for eight or ten hours a day, they may not want you sitting beside them from breakfast until bedtime.Find your own hobbies, see your own friends and have interests that don't involve your partner. A happy marriage doesn't require you to spend 24 hours a day in one another's pockets.... remember that other people still have to work Just because you suddenly have plenty of time doesn't mean everybody else does.Don't spend the working day sending messages to friends and family because you're bored and then become offended when they don't reply immediately. They haven't retired. They have work to do.One of the great luxuries of retirement is having control over your own time. Good manners means respecting that other people don't yet have the same luxury.... give the younger generation advice (but only when they ask for it!)Don't become one of those people who retires and suddenly believes it is their duty to tell everybody younger than them how the world ought to be run.There is nothing wrong with having experience. In fact, 40 years of a working life gives you an enormous amount of knowledge. But constantly telling younger people that everything was better 'back in my day' is tiresome.If somebody asks for your advice, give it generously. Better still, if you have a skill or experience that could help somebody starting out, consider mentoring them. Passing on what you've learned can be one of the most generous things you do in retirement.But wait to be asked. Advice is far more valuable when somebody actually wants it.... volunteer at a charityA very good friend of mine was a butler to a very important gentleman. When he retired, he volunteered to drive elderly people to their hospital appointments.I always thought that was a wonderful use of his time. What amazed him was that some of the people he was helping could be incredibly rude to him. Occasionally he had to remind them that he wasn't being paid a penny and was giving up his time to help them.Retirement gives you something extremely valuable: time. If you're fortunate enough to be able to give some of that time to other people, it's a wonderful thing to do. And if somebody is giving their time freely to help you, remember to say thank you.... write your memories downOne thing I would encourage anybody who retires to do is write a little book about their life. Write about what you've learned, the people you've met, the mistakes you've made and the things you've seen change.I was extremely close to my grandmother, and there are so many things about her life that I wish I'd asked her when she was still here.We spend 40 or 50 years collecting experiences and knowledge, and then far too often all of it disappears with us.Retirement shouldn't just be about looking backwards, but there is something rather lovely about leaving a little of what you've learned behind for the next generation.Above all, retirement is an opportunity to set an example. Be a lady or a gentleman, remain interested in the world around you and, where you can, inspire the generation coming after you.