20 Funniest Ralph Wiggum Quotes In The Simpsons

Out of all the characters on The Simpsons, Ralph Wiggum's quotes are almost always more off-the-wall than those said by other characters. Although the Springfield residents often ridicule him and pay him no attention due to his incomprehensible ramblings, Ralph has proven himself to be a kind and considerate young boy. Every time he is on the screen, it is almost assured that he will end up in some awkward situation. The show wouldn't be the same without either his one-liners or his childlike antics. The son of Police Chief Wiggum and Lisa Simpson's classmate, Ralph Wiggum first appeared in the very first episode of The Simpsons, "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire," and remains a popular character all these years later. The best Ralph Wiggum quotes are those that show both his wide-eyed innocence, obliviousness, misunderstanding of the world at large, or a combination of all three. These quotes are also very repeatable and remain some of the best of any character on the long-running animated series. 20 "The Baby Looked At Me" Season 8, Episode 19: "Grade School Confidential" In the season 8 episode "Grade School Confidential," Bart Simpson leads all his classmates down the hall to the janitor's closet. When he opens the door, everyone sees Principal Skinner and Miss Krabappel making out. It was a shocking moment for all. This, as expected, led to many of the kids going home to tell their parents what happened. While some seemed disturbed, Ralph Wiggum seemed oddly intrigued. Ralph went to his parents, who were sitting in their kitchen, and explained that he had seen "Principal Skinner and Miss Krabappel were in the closet making babies, and I saw one of the babies, and then the baby looked at me." The idea that he somehow imagined that he saw a baby in the closet looking at him is either very disturbing or very confusing. His dad's response, "The baby looked at you?" explains where Ralph gets it from. 19 "It Says Bee And There's A Picture Of A Bee On It" Season 4, Episode 15: "I Love Lisa" It isn't necessarily the quote itself that is memorable, as it is everything that came before it. In this episode, Ralph Wiggum realizes that he likes Lisa, and he gets her a special card that shows his feelings. However, Ralph realizes that she doesn't reciprocate and becomes sad and depressed. This leads to his greatest moment when he gets to play George Washington in the school's play about U.S. Presidents. Nancy Cartwright, who also voices Bart Simpson, also voices Ralph Wiggum. He is so good that the school's nerdiest students decide they want to learn more about the presidents, so they rush to the library. It also causes older audience members to find it touching and brilliant. This ends with everyone asking Ralph for his autograph. The best part comes when Lisa gives him a card that says they should be friends, and Ralph shows his childlike wonder, expressing his amazement with the bee pun. 18 "Oh Boy, Sleep! That's Where I'm A Viking!" Season 7, Episode 5: Lisa The Vegetarian" Ralph Wiggum has had plenty of great quotes in The Simpsons, but one of his best involved him connecting sleeping with being a Viking. This quote is so memorable that it has even become debated as to what the words really mean. Writer Josh Weinstein explained that the meaning was simple and wasn't a metaphor. Instead, he said: "Yes, again, it's the simplest answer - Ralph dreams of being a Viking." This is the opposite of the thought that he was "so good at sleeping, he was a Viking at it." The episode itself had Ralph eating a worm in class. As a result, Ms. Hoover tells him that he needs to go to sleep after eating it, and this gets Ralph really excited. He exclaims that this is exciting because he gets to be a Viking when he is asleep. Ralph is not a complex character, so this comment almost surely only means that he dreams of being a Viking, which is more exciting than his normal life. 17 "That's Where I Saw The Leprechaun. He Told Me To Burn Things." Season 9, Episode 18: "This Little Wiggy" There are a ton of great quotes in The Simpsons' season 9 episode, "This Little Wiggy." This is where Bart's parents force him to spend time with Ralph Wiggum. Bart wants nothing to do with it but ends up fascinated by the bizarre world inside of Ralph's mind. It is more than just a vivid imagination, and Bart realizes that Ralph might be even more dangerous than him due to his delusions. This quote is an example. It starts with Ralph showing Bart around his play area. He shows Bart his toys, then shows off his sandbox, and he explains he can't go in the "deep end." However, when he stops and points to a large stone, he says that was where he saw the leprechaun. Bart laughs it off, but when Ralph finishes by saying, "He told me to burn things", Bart suddenly realizes that something is definitely not right in Ralph's head. 16 "My Knob Tastes Funny" Season 8, Episode 14: "The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show" There might not be a more immature kid in The Simpsons than Ralph Wiggum. In this season 8 episode, a man running a television focus group goes to the kids to find out why they don't like watching The Itchy & Scratchy Show anymore. He gives them small knobs that they will turn to one side if they like something and then to the other side if they don't. However, the only comment from the kids comes from Ralph Wiggum, who says the knob tastes funny as he has it in his mouth. It is ridiculous and fits Ralph's personality perfectly. After the response from the focus leader, telling the kids not to taste their knobs, it further drives home the entire innuendo of Ralph talking about tasting his knob. The main punchline comes later in the episode. When a guy starts yelling, and Ralph starts crying and immediately turns the knob, paying off the gag perfectly. 15 "This Is My Swing Set. This Is My Sandbox, I'm Not Allowed To Go In The Deep End." Season 9, Episode 18: "This Little Wiggy" In "This Little Wiggy," Bart goes to Ralph's house after they have a play date at the Simpson's household. This episode is full of hilarious Ralph Wiggum quotes as he's part of the episode's main plot. Bart is more interested in Chief Wiggum's various police paraphernalia around the house, but Ralph wants to show him his outside toys instead. Ralph shows him his swing set and his sandbox, which somehow has a deep end, one he's been warned not to go in. 14 "I'm A Star Wars." Season 21, Episode 10: "Once Upon A Time In Springfield" In "Once Upon a Time in Springfield," everyone in Lisa's Springfield Elementary School class dresses up as inspiring women throughout history and gives a presentation about who they're dressed up as. Many people in the class chose various real-life Princesses from history, like Princess Diana. As usual, Ralph doesn't quite understand the charge. As the teacher explains who all was represented, she looks at Ralph, and he proudly says, "I'm a Star Wars", while dressed as Princess Leia. 13 "Slow Down, Bart! My Legs Don’t Know How To Be As Long As Yours." Season 9, Episode 18: "This Little Wiggy" In "This Little Wiggy," Marge decides to set up a play date between Ralph and Bart, which at first annoys Bart, but when he goes to Ralph's house and finds that his father has various police equipment and case files lying around the house, he changes his mind. Ralph tries to walk with Bart, and he pleads with him that his legs aren't as long and he can't keep up. However, he says it in a way that only Ralph Wiggum could, as he just feels that his legs don't have the same experience as the older Bart's legs. 12 "I'm A Unitard." Season 18, Episode 7: "Ice Cream Of Margie (With The Light Blue Hair)" In "Ice Cream of Margie (With the Light Blue Hair)," Homer decides to buy an ice cream truck and live out his dreams of selling ice cream all day. Marge decides she needs to let out her creative side as well and begins to build sculptures out of the used popsicle sticks from the popsicles that Homer sells. In the episode, Ralph decides to smash an ice cream cone on his head and means to say that he's a unicorn, but he hilariously says unitard instead. It is one of many instances where Ralph just mispronounces words. 11 "If Mommy's Purse Didn't Belong In The Microwave, Why Did It Fit?" Season 26, Episode 22: "Mathlete's Feat" In "Mathlete's Feat," Lisa is excited to turn her elementary school into a Waldorf school full of hands-on learning after the technological advances in the school are destroyed. One part of the montage showing Springfield Elementary changing to the new program shows the students asking any question they want without worrying about raising their hands or having a filter. Ralph asks this completely nonsensical question that suggests he had recently put his mom's purse in the microwave.