Xolito: I built a VS Code extension that hides your screen when your boss walks by

Press Shift+Esc when your manager walks toward your desk. Your status bar changes from: 🦎 Compiló limpio. Tu mamá estaría orgullosa. to: 💼 [PROD] cluster_matrix_balancer.cpp A fake C++ file with 80 lines of enterprise templates, mutex, and atomic operations opens automatically. Your axolotl puts on a tie. When the coast is clear, press Shift+Esc again — the file closes and you're back exactly where you were. That's Xolito 🦎 — a VS Code mascot built around Mexico's endemic axolotl salamander. It detects LSP errors in real time, drops inline comments next to your mistakes, and roasts you in Mexican Spanish. 🔴 On error: "Ay, mijo... otra vez. ¿No que muy bueno?" ✅ On clean build: "Compiló limpio. Tu mamá estaría orgullosa." 🌙 At 11pm: "Ya duerme. Mañana lo ves y dices '¿quién hizo esto?'" 🍺 Friday after 4pm: "Viernes 4pm. Cierra el IDE y agarra una chela." It also has a spanglish linter — if it detects fetchUsuarios or get_datosCliente on save, Xolito will let you know. Loudly. Built as a pnpm monorepo with a framework-agnostic @xolito/core package, so the same phrase bank works in the VS Code extension and a terminal CLI. The Boss Mode started as a 20-line joke I almost didn't ship. It's now the most-talked-about feature. Ship the weird ideas. Install: search Xolito in the VS Code Marketplace or: ext install xolito.xolito-vscode Source: github.com/JonatanJHL/pet_mexican Built with 🦎 and too much coffee in Mexico City.