Women share how they overhauled their lives after 40, and it’s gloriously inspiring

Deena Lang was nervous. The popular social media creator is gearing up to turn 46 and, more importantly, to tackle a major career pivot in her life. She wrote on Instagram recently that working as a creator gave her a lot of joy, but not a lot of stability or mental challenge. She was looking for a change. “Let’s be real – this place doesn’t offer benefits or a retirement plan and I refuse to work until the day I die,” she wrote. But transitioning into a new career in insurance, understandably, had her feeling apprehensive. Was she really cut out for a change this big? At 46, had she missed her window to change her life? 46-year-old asks for advice on starting over after 40 In a post on Threads, Lang—a self-described Xennial—decided to ask her audience of Millennial and Gen X women for advice. “I wanna hear pivot stories from women over the age of 40 who took a scary leap into the unknown and are better for it,” she wrote. “[I am] making a HARD departure from my career comfort zone as I turn 46… Looking for some solidarity and a bit of comfort, I suppose.” Just a few days later, she was completely overwhelmed by inspiring responses. Women showed up in force to prove that “taking the leap” after 40 is amazing Lang’s post drew hundreds of comments from women eager to share their own journeys, and a little encouragement, too. The stories are brilliantly inspiring. One commenter literally ran away to join the circus and currently makes a living “as an aerial cyclist.” Another went back to school at 42 to become a surgical tech after being inspired by a mega-binge of Grey’s Anatomy. “I am now 45 with a job I absolutely love.” Another spent 20 years as a stay-at-home mom before realizing how much she loved hockey. In her early 40s, she followed her passion and now writes and co-hosts a hockey radio show. “I never thought I would be doing this in my 50s, but I love what I do. Later in life pivots are the best.” Commenter Abby shared how she took a swing so many people dream about: She quit her job, sold almost everything, and moved to St. Thomas. She’s now a full-time scuba instructor. “I am better for letting go of what I was told to hold on to.” Claire took a similar path. She left her “boring” office job, moved to Norway, and became a whale-watching skipper. “It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.” Kelly directed her first short film at 42. Becky quit her job to become a florist. A teacher of 20 years went part-time to pursue stand-up comedy. Another commenter started martial arts at 36 and earned a black belt at 48. Amanda conquered a fear of flying in her 40s that had held her back her entire life. Lizabeth hit the gym for the first time and entered her first bikini competition at 45. The prompt specifically said “over the age of 40,” but one woman responded with a hold-my-beer moment: “Published my first novel 3 weeks before my 65th birthday,” proving that, perhaps, there is no window at all to try and achieve something new. What Jung and other psychologists say about your 40s It’s not just Deena Lang. Fear and anxiety around starting over, pivoting, or trying something new in your 40s is extremely common. It’s also just a bit ironic, because plenty of experts say 40 is the perfect time to reinvent yourself. Carl Jung, for example, one of the most influential psychiatrists of all time, has been widely quoted as saying, “Life really does begin at 40. Up until then you are just doing research.” The quote may be apocryphal or misattributed, but Jung almost certainly would have co-signed it. He was fascinated by middle-life and believed it to be an incredibly important period marked by necessary transition. The first half of our life is all about developing our persona, an external identity that helps us succeed, fit in, and survive. Somewhere around the age of 40, Jung says individuation starts. It’s when we start to shed that external persona and become someone more attuned to our authentic selves. It’s meant to be hard work, and there’s no instruction manual for how to do this successfully. Jung admitted as much when he said, “Wholly unprepared, we embark upon the second half of life. Or are there perhaps colleges for forty-year-olds which prepare them for their coming life and its demands as the ordinary colleges introduce our young people to a knowledge of the world? No, thoroughly unprepared we take the step into the afternoon of life; worse still, we take this step with the false assumption that our truths and ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the programme of life’s morning; for what was great in the morning will be little at evening, and what in the morning was true will at evening have become a lie.” Experts say it’s hard to change life paths as we get older because the stakes get higher. We have financial obligations that can’t be pushed aside. Becoming a beginner again can be scary. We may not have the physical energy we used to possess for taking on new challenges. But what really matters to us is bound to change as we age. It just takes courage to go for it and face the risks. In Lang’s case, the inspiring stories of those who’d been through it before her gave her strength and motivation. Not every big pivot will work out, of course. But it’s almost always worth a shot. In more words of wisdom often attributed to Jung, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”