When the boss has an affair, the whole family business can pay the price

From Profumo to Petraeus to Gary Hart, Bill Gates and Bill Clinton, history is littered with older men in positions of great responsibility having affairs with mostly younger women that put their jobs, businesses and reputations at great risk. Now we have the former Nvidia CEO, Jensen Huang.These men – smart, respected, powerful – make decisions that simply baffle the rest of us. If they’re so intelligent, how could they not see how things were going to end up? The answer is they’re men. And when there’s a younger woman who shows interest, well …We all love a bit of schadenfreude now and again. But it’s not so fun for the employees, shareholders, partners and others who work alongside these men. And it’s deeply unpleasant for their families, particularly when they work in the same business.Jensen Huang’s family is feeling that right now. His son, daughter and son-in-law all have prominent positions at his company. His daughter is married to another Nvidia executive. And they’re not alone. And when it happens at a smaller business, the impact is even worse.Huang’s company is so well known that the world knows of his indiscretions. But people live in their own worlds, and in my client’s world, pretty much everyone in the company knows what’s going on with the cheating spouse.Some surveys claim that as many as 20% of people have admitted to cheating on their partners. There are 34m small businesses in the US with almost a third being family owned. So the odds are that there are other moms and dads (probably dads, given that 61% of businesses are still owned by men) making the same mistakes. I have clients in this position. And their children working in their businesses are going through the same horrible experience.Hopefully, the children working in family businesses have positions where they are not directly reporting to mom and dad. Hopefully there’s an organizational structure and policies in place that separates them from ownership and treats them as any other employee. Whether the owner of the company – even if it’s the mom or dad (again probably the dad) – is having dalliances on the side should be of no matter. They’re doing a job in the company. They’re not a part of this.But unfortunately they are. It’s still their parents. There’s still an unsaid thing amongst the rest of the employees that not only are they the kids but they’re also likely to be the future owners of the company. Their behavior inside the company walls is being watched as closely as their parents. Suddenly, their parents’ behavior is now reflected on them. Can they also be trusted?And yet I don’t feel entirely sorry for the Jensen kids or any kids working for their parents where a similar situation occurs. They’ve enjoyed the perks of being the owners’ offspring. They’ve likely been given opportunities they wouldn’t necessarily get if they worked for someone else. They know what they signed up for.The hope is that Huang’s children, and the children of any business owner going through the same situation, learn and turn it to their favor. When a responsible CEO cheats on their spouse, it calls into question their overall ethics. When the affairs become a circus like Jensen’s – or even in the smaller world of my clients – the ridicule it creates undermines their authority. People look at my cheating clients like they’re a joke. They wonder how they could do something so blatantly stupid like having an affair with an employee in an environment where their children work? They question the judgment of the very leader who runs the company that provides their livelihood.The kids should stand by both their parents, accept that mistakes were made, but show to the world that it’s still their family and that they love them. But they should also take the opportunity to show their fellow employees, and the world, that they wouldn’t behave the same way.