What’s an acceptable time to kick people out of your house after a dinner party?

Having a dinner party is all fun and games, until it’s past midnight and none of your friends have called an Uber yet… (Picture: Getty Images) As Brits, we’re well aware that every social gathering comes with its own set of rules and expectations. Never, for example, turn up to a housewarming empty-handed. Bring flowers – just don’t forget to remove the £6.50 Sainsbury’s price tag. But it’s not just your entrance that matters. There’s also some pretty strict etiquette around making your exit. Linger too long at a dinner party after dessert has been served and you might find yourself on the receiving end of some stoney faces – especially from the hosts who’ve been desperate to go to bed for over two hours. Recently, Metro asked its readers what they considered an acceptable time to kick guests out after a meal together. Several people said by 11pm, they were ‘wilting’. Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. But among the usual suspects — remarks such as ‘after the last mouthful!’ and ‘when they’ve finished chewing!’ — another contentious answer stood out. How do you politely ask your friends to, well, get the hell out? (Picture: Getty Images) A number of individuals felt strongly that the most appropriate time to kick out any dinner party guest was, as user Gloria Dexter put it, ‘after they have helped with the clearing up.’ Another, Tracey Donnelly, felt equally impassioned with this opinion, adding ‘after they’ve washed the pots!’ In fact, the majority of readers who commented seemed to agree that dinner party guests hadn’t truly fulfilled their duty until they’d got their hands on the Fairy Liquid. Would you expect guests to do the washing up before they go? Yes! It's a kind gestureCheck No - if I'm the host, I should be the one to wash upCheck Others, of course, were slightly more gracious. Danny Saleem took a practical approach, sharing: ‘The best thing is to tell them when the dinner party will be finishing. So, if the party starts at 7:00pm then people should leave by 9:00pm, or even 10:00pm, no later than that.’ Cyril Trim, on the other hand, was a little less subtle, noting that his method is typically to just ‘put [his] pjs on’ and hope that his guests take the hint. Should dinner party guests be expected to get their hands dirty before calling for a taxi? (Picture: Getty Images) Some also pointed out that if you’re close enough with your guests, this conundrum doesn’t really exist. ‘If you feel you need to kick anyone out at any time, don’t invite them. Your good friends should know when to leave graciously…’ Jenny Feofiloff wrote. Or, you could throw all caution to the wind and simply take Mark Gippert’s advice: ‘Don`t invite them in the first place. Problem solved. I’m sure they can eat at home.’ How do different cultures end the party? Brits aren’t the only ones who can be precious about their bedtime. So, how do other cultures signal to guests that it’s time to go home? Historically, in Japan, particularly in Kyoto, it was customary to offer guests a bowl of ochazuke (rice soaked in green tea, also known locally as bubuzuke). While less common today, the dish became known as a subtle social cue that a host was ready for the visit to come to an end. Rather than accepting the bowl, a guest who picked up on the hint would typically politely decline, replying with something along the lines ofreply with something along the lines of ‘Oh, thank you so much but I should be heading off now.’ In Germany, things appear to be slightly more overt. In 2023, the phrase ‘Ich fühle mich jetzt genug besucht’ began trending on social media. It roughly translates to ‘I am feeling visited enough’, and is apparently something people can say as a deliberately direct way of signalling that they want guests to leave their home. On Reddit, a number of German citizens have also shared that physical cues like crossing their arms and legs or placing both hands flat on their knees, standing up and exclaiming ‘So, da wären wir!’ which translates to ‘Alright, then!’ can sometimes be used. An expert’s opinion on kicking guests out the house ‘There seems to be a particular kind of British agony for the host when a guest doesn’t take a hint to leave,’ etiquette expert Laura Windsor tells Metro. ‘The plates are cleared, the coffee is cold, the host sighs, the conversation has lulled, the yawns are becoming more noisy and frequent, nobody wants to be rude. But someone has to bring the evening to an end.’ If the usual techniques don’t work, such as mentioning an early morning wake-up, Laura notes that you could also perhaps ‘start stacking plates and take them out to the kitchen.’ ‘If that doesn’t work,’ she continues, ‘you could perhaps start running the vacuum around their feet, start spraying the table with polish or worse ask them to join in some manual labour and help in the kitchen – such as clean the dishes whilst hiding the dishwasher.’ That being said, in Laura’s opinion, unless your guests are close friends or family it is ‘rather inappropriate’ to ask a guest to help out at the end of a dinner. ‘The very definition of a guest is just to be there and be looked after. The host’s job is everything else,’ she adds.Meanwhile, etiquette guru William Hanson advises asking: ‘Can I get anyone anything else?’, or asking what their plans are for tomorrow, to draw attention to the next day. The main thing to remember is that what might feel perfectly natural and courteous to one person may seem totally uncomfortable to another. At the end of the day, Laura notes, ‘Good etiquette is about recognising those differences, and understanding that boundary is the key to polite behaviour.’ Arrow MORE: My flatmate was rich and unemployed — I had to subsidise their rent Arrow MORE: My friend thought he was invincible — losing him left me helpless Arrow MORE: The ‘exhausting’ colleague with the power to make work incredibly uncomfortable