What Is Murray Hill’s NYQ?

On a scale from the Chrysler Building to the Morgan Library, where does the comedian and author of Showbiz!, Murray Hill, fit? This is NYQ, a series in which we find out how “New York” notable New Yorkers really are. How many years have you lived in New York City? I’m in show business. I can’t do math, but I think I’ve been living in New York for 35 years. How many times have you moved in NYC? Twice. How’d you get so lucky? Got a rent-control apartment. Never leave it. You could make one subway-etiquette rule law. What would it be? Fellas, please close your legs. Someone bumps into you on the subway, what do you do? I look at them, and if it’s a lady, I’ll say, “Hey, how you doing?” And if it’s a guy, I say, “Get the fuck off me.” Your train line is down and you’re running late, what do you do? Go home. How often do you take public transit to the airport? Never. Someone tries to hand you a flyer on the street. What do you do? If it’s religious, I will not take it. If it’s a show flyer, I’ll take it. You’re in Murray Hill and you need to have dinner ASAP or you will pass out. Where do you go? Murray Hill Diner. Someone tells you that the rats are actually cute, what’s your honest response? They’re not as cute as me. I mean, right? Have you ever actually been to Staten Island? I’ve driven through it. Do you call Manhattan “the city” or just “Manhattan”? The city. What’s the longest you’ve ever waited on a subway platform? Back in the old days, I’ve waited an hour and a half. They used to never come to — the L train would never come. And I’d have a couple vodka gimlets from, you know, being out that night. And I would sit there and rot in the subway for hours. And it’s nice and hot and sweaty in there. What’s the most you’ve ever paid for a coffee in NYC? Ten dollars. I know, it’s bullshit. What is something a tourist does that you secretly still do? Play pickleball. What’s your go-to public bathroom? I’m going to get in trouble for saying this: McNally Jackson. What’s your best NYC celeb sighting? John Waters. Name the fakest realtor-invented neighborhood. Murray Hill. You know you’re a New Yorker when … Your cab driver is driving so fast, and you might die, but you don’t say anything because you’ll get there quick enough. You’re old enough to remember when … Cover charge for a nightclub was five dollars. What’s a place that closed that you wish you could bring back? Florent. It was a diner in the Meatpacking District. It was the best place. Who is the sexiest New Yorker? Sarah Jessica Parker. Last time you ate a hot dog from a hot-dog stand? Not from a hot-dog stand, but I had one at a barbecue in the Hamptons. Every New Yorker should do this at least once … Talk to a stranger. What’s the nicest thing a stranger has done for you in New York? You know what, this is real. I lost my wallet. I dropped it on the floor, and somebody picked it up, knocked on my door two days later, and gave it back to me. There was nothing in it, but he gave it back to me. Last thing you used your famous-person status to get in New York? To make a reservation at the Strip House in New York. The one on 12th Street. Last time you hailed a yellow cab? Six years ago. Has your phone ever gone off during a performance? Yes. My own performance. When I’m on stage, it’s gone off. And I’ve answered it. What’s the best place to perform in NYC? Joe’s Pub. Have you ever had an altercation with a neighbor? Yes. I was trying to move my air conditioner, and my finger got caught in it, and it dropped. And my neighbor went insane saying that I tried to kill her. And I said, “It didn’t hit you. You were inside.” And she was like, “You tried to — you could have killed me.” I was like, “You were inside.” And my thumb is like — my fingers hanging off. I didn’t hit you. We’re good.” That’s about as angry as I’ll ever get. What Is SNL Cast Member Ben Marshall’s NYQ? What Is Anne Hathaway’s NYQ? What Is Rostam Batmanglij’s NYQ? See All What Is Murray Hill’s NYQ? Your product is saved! You’ll receive emails when your saved products go on sale. Manage preferences.