What Is Comedian Cat Cohen’s NYQ?

On a scale of bodega wine to Cabernet Cabaret, where does Cat Cohen fit?This is NYQ, a series in which we find out how “New York” notable New Yorkers really are. How many years have you lived in New York? Thirteen. You could make one subway etiquette rule law — what would it be? You can’t put a bag next to you. You can’t put anything next to you. That’s for a person. Someone bumps into you on the subway — what do you do? I send them love and light. Your train line is down and you’re running late — what do you do? Hop in a cab, walk, run, hope for the best. Your cab driver is taking you on a horrible route. Do you interrupt? No, no, no. I’m along for the ride. Someone tries to hand you a flyer on the street — what do you do? No, thank you. Someone tries to get you to film a TikTok on the street. What do you do? No, thank you. Good luck with your career. It’s a blinking red light and you’re about to cross — do you wait till it says walk, or are you crossing? I’m fucking rocking out. You’re in town for a long holiday weekend and know the city will empty out — where do you go? A Broadway show and a drink at Sardi’s. Someone you want to impress asks for restaurant advice — what neighborhood do you send them to for the best pizza? I’ve actually done a pizza tour of the city, and I think the best plain slice is Sal and Carmine’s, which I believe is on 101st. What’s your area code? 713. Do you think they still matter? Everything matters. What’s the longest you’ve waited on a subway platform? After I saw Hereditary, I was waiting for the train and I was so traumatized that I sat there and, like, three trains went by, and I was like, “Oh my God, it’s been 30 minutes.” What’s the most you’ve ever paid for a coffee in New York City? Probably like nine dollars. Do you own a car? Have you ever admitted that out loud? No. I’d love to, if anyone has one they’d like to hand over. Bed bugs or roaches? Roaches. Roaches or rats? Roaches. Which is worse, Hudson Yards or Dimes Square? Hudson Yards. Have you ever gotten a piece of furniture off the street? I’ve gotten lots of things — shelves, chairs. Anything without upholstery, I’m down. Do you touch the subway poles? Yeah. Where do you go to cry? The Union Square Barnes & Noble is coming to mind, because of the bathroom up there. You can go have a pee, sit down in between the shelves, read some poetry, let it out. What’s your go-to public bathroom? The Union Square Barnes & Noble. Best New York celebrity sighting? I see Glenn Close walking her dog all the time. But I also recently saw Zooey Deschanel and one of the Property Brothers, and I was really gagged. What about New York City still makes no sense to you? Why is rent so much? Name the fakest realtor-invented neighborhood. SoHa? NoHa? Weren’t they trying to do that? How many times have you moved in New York City? I’ve lived in seven places. The hardest move was when I didn’t hire movers — I also moved into a worse apartment. I got there and went, “This is worse than where I was.” I moved from Williamsburg to East Williamsburg. Is that another made-up neighborhood — East Williamsburg? I’m old enough to remember when … There was no Whole Foods in Williamsburg. What’s a place that closed that you wish you could bring back? Bring back the top floor of the Duplex. That’s where I got my start. Every New Yorker should do what at least once? Get their aura photo taken at Magic Jewelry. Sexiest New Yorker? I mean, probably like Chloë Sevigny. Last time you ate a hot dog from a hot-dog stand? Probably 2022. How much do you pay when you go to the Met? Do you have to pay? What percent did you tip your last Uber driver? Twenty percent. Last time you hailed a yellow cab? Last night. Have you ever cried over a New York sports team? No, my fiancé has, and I console him. Has your phone ever gone off during a live performance? No. God. Have you ever fallen asleep while in the audience? No, I wish. What do you do if the person next to you is behaving badly? I guess, “Excuse me, can you stop?” It happened the other night at Giant — drunk girls on their phones. Imagine drunk-sexting during Giant? I could read everything. What Is Desus Nice’s NYQ? What Is Justine Doiron’s NYQ? What Is Billy Eichner’s NYQ? See All What Is Comedian Cat Cohen’s NYQ? Your product is saved! You’ll receive emails when your saved products go on sale. Manage preferences. Every product is independently selected by editors. Things you buy through our links may earn Vox Media a commission. Who Was the Man in 2B? The Westport Studio That Housed Two Generations of Nebels The Look Book Goes to The Guyanese Nurses’ Ball The Flexy-Theater Experiment Is Mostly a Dud Prewars Galore, From Crown Heights to Washington Heights The Westport Studio That Housed Two Generations of Nebels Who Was the Man in 2B? The Flexy-Theater Experiment Is Mostly a Dud The Look Book Goes to The Guyanese Nurses’ Ball Prewars Galore, From Crown Heights to Washington Heights