What conservatives should learn from the Lindsay Clancy case

For more than a month this summer, the nation was transfixed by a trial taking place at the Plymouth Superior Court in Massachusetts. It was the trial of Lindsay Clancy, a mother charged with filicide. She is accused of strangling her three young children in January 2023, right before she attempted suicide. The case itself is inexplicable. Dwell too long on the particulars, and you’ll find yourself overwhelmed by the horror. A mother who carried and was raising three beautiful babies is charged with wrapping exercise bands around their necks and, one by one, choking them to death. The tiny victims who too often get lost in the discussion were 5-year-old Cora, 3-year-old Dawson, and 8-month-old Callan.The trial itself brought a certain type of darkness. But the social media spectacle that blew up as a result of it was incomprehensible. A lone woman on trial for a triple homicide is bad enough. But Clancy? She had an entire chick army of supporters bloom around her. Her legion of female fans paraded on TikTok and other social media platforms, convinced they were standing together for something good. Arguments arose about maternal mental health, depression, psychosis, and responsibility. The heightened emotions meant meaningful, substantive conversations were almost nowhere to be found. Before long, women who had experienced postpartum depression or the less common but more severe condition of postpartum psychosis started identifying with Clancy. They claimed to have suffered as she had. As such, they could have been one bad moment away from committing a crime similar to the one she is accused of. On the other end of the discussion were those who viewed postpartum depression and psychosis as either nonexistent, merely feeling blue, or a convenient excuse to become a “murder mommy.”Completely lost in the noise was the opportunity to discuss the stresses of motherhood and mental health difficulties without resorting to excuse-making for an accused killer. If you look around America in 2026, you’ll see that marriage and parenthood are not exactly top priorities. Marriage rates fell from 8.3 per 1,000 in 2000 to 6.3 per 1,000 in 2024, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The fertility rate has also declined. In 2007, the rate was 2.12 children per woman. The rate dipped to 1.6 children per woman in 2024. The long-term spiral of fertility is particularly significant. The trend has been downward for decades.(Illustration by Dean MacAdam for the Washington Examiner) Both marriage and family are foundational institutions. A society cannot thrive without those solid building blocks. But they have to do more than just exist — each has to flourish.The Clancy trial and the fallout are particularly monumental because they provide a snapshot of current thinking about marriage, pregnancy, motherhood, and postpartum difficulties. They show what multiple groups think about one of the most important roles in society. As was plain to see, there is a massive disconnect and, frankly, deep resentment between the competing parties. These attitudes shape not only conversations surrounding marriage, fertility, and motherhood, but also broader, long-term cultural trends. Based on what occurred, it is not looking good.But there is a middle ground.Conservatives should continue to promote marriage, pregnancy, and parenthood. We should also be honest about what it costs in this modern age. Honesty, along with compassion, needs to extend to those who struggle in the postpartum stage and seek help during temporary seasons of struggle. We can recognize normal maternal vulnerability without treating it as a moral failure. It seems the culture needs a reset to a healthier understanding of motherhood. It was true before the Clancy trial dominated the national conversation for a time. It is even more imperative now.For years, a conservative mantra has been, “Get married! Have babies!” This push is a positive one and should continue. We need more marriages. We need more babies. We need fewer young people aimlessly wandering through life, rudderless and devoid of purpose. Marriage and family are lifelong anchors. They are the most important pursuits. But as the modern dating world shows, finding someone willing to commit for life is not as easy as picking an item off the grocery store shelf. As of 2024, the median age for marriage was 28.4 for females and 30.8 for males. In 1956, the median ages were 20.1 and 22.5 years, respectively. The increase in marriage age is due in large part to shifting priorities. As a result, parenthood is either set aside for a time or completely avoided.Parents now have fewer children than their parents and grandparents did. It is fair to say that there is an air of selfishness to young adults. Selfishness has always been a feature of humanity. The focus on oneself delays family building. And it affects the dynamics going forward.A major focus of the Clancy trial was maternal mental health. This turned a purely evil act into one that carried with it a potential for sympathy. That’s a difficult combination. If Clancy was mentally unwell when she allegedly killed her children, is she fully responsible for what happened? Or was her mind so addled that criminal guilt is impossible to establish with certainty? The defense argued that her deteriorating mental health was so bad that it became psychosis. In that state, she allegedly experienced severe hallucinations that eventually led her to kill her children. After the murders, she met with a psychologist who, during the trial, testified that “she heard a male voice ordering her, telling her, that she didn’t have any choice. But she had to kill her children. And then kill herself.” Clancy was on several psychiatric medications in the time leading up to January 2023. Both her family and husband knew that she was struggling with her mental health. Regardless of what one thinks about her level of criminal responsibility, it’s clear that she had a history of mental illness ranging from mild to severe. Whether or not she knew what she was doing when she allegedly killed her own offspring is a conclusion that has not yet been legally decided. Personally, I believe the actions she is accused of have earned her a lifetime of incarceration, whether that be prison or a secure psychiatric facility. But I’m neither a judge nor a jury.Left: Outside the Plymouth Superior Court Building in Plymouth, Massachusetts, a woman holds a sign with photos of Lindsay Clancy’s three slain children, Sept. 1, 2026. Right: Supporters of Lindsay Clancy protest during her murder trial in Plymouth, Massachusetts, Aug. 26, 2026. (John Tlumacki/Boston Globe/Getty Images; Joseph Prezioso/AFP/Getty Images) Clancy’s defense strategy turned postpartum mental health into a widely discussed topic. Outside the courthouse in Plymouth, hundreds of women rallied and wore pink in support of her. One of the attendees stated, “Women are being dismissed, neglected, and ignored when we speak up. We’re scared because nobody takes us seriously.” There was even more support for her online. On TikTok, Clancy supporters began tagging their videos with “Same, Lindsay” or “Me too, Lindsay” as though they could relate to her experience. Many of these videos showed mothers holding or playing with their children as they expressed solidarity. On Aug. 17, Matt Walsh posted the following on X: “A lot of people aren’t going to want to hear this but much of the ‘depression’ that parents (and not just moms) suffer after child birth is due not so much to hormones but to the fact that children, especially babies, are demanding and difficult and require us to subordinate our own needs and desires for their sake. The more selfish you are, the more of an adjustment it’s going to be.” The take received 4.7 million impressions and set off a firestorm. Walsh wasn’t the only one to share extreme skepticism at the Clancy defense. Soon, many others joined in, and a massive online discussion ensued. Conversely, supporters received their own backlash for their pro-Clancy antics.If we step back and look at this mess, we see that one side foolishly requested sympathy for Clancy in a way that excused her alleged actions. The other side demeaned mothers, especially those who have experienced depression, as selfish. Needless to say, both sides got it wrong. Glaringly so.As a mother myself, I was appalled at the behavior from other moms who acted as though Clancy was in any way relatable. At the same time, my own experience with postpartum depression meant I was disgusted to see postpartum difficulties reduced to little more than just a woman being selfish. Logical reactions to either Clancy or maternal mental health were scarce. And the entire saga ratcheted up the animosity from women and toward women.Right now, there is an imbalance in the way motherhood is viewed. We live in a privileged age with a wide range of conveniences. In so many ways, we have it better than those who came before us. This doesn’t mean there aren’t difficulties. But those difficulties aren’t the kind that make parenthood impossible. We also live in a time when an idealized view of motherhood is presented by the traditional crowd. Both of these extremes are spread online. They exist in two camps: the burden narrative and the idealized narrative. While these narratives are not equally prevalent or equally harmful, they each leave out something essential. These incomplete pictures of motherhood are detrimental to a society that desperately needs strong families.Feminism and the sexual revolution did much to change attitudes toward women’s roles in society. Almost overnight, females began to consider a life outside the home, whether temporary or permanent. Fast-forward many decades later, and that attitude still persists. There is nothing wrong with women going to college, having a career, and marking achievements outside the home. Problems arise when adding motherhood to the mix is seen as a setback and a negative. Because of biology, women must pause or stop certain career pursuits to have and raise children. Some feminists view this as unfair. But it is just reality. A woman who shifts from a career to staying at home may find herself disillusioned by domesticity. The pressures of childcare and home life may feel too routine, mundane, or simply unnoticed. Yet bearing and caring for children and raising them to be functioning adults who contribute to society are among a woman’s most important responsibilities. The benefits are enormous. But this does not mean motherhood is easy.It is this attitude that accompanied so many Clancy supporters. Whether they had verifiable mental health diagnoses or not, there was a bitterness that seeped out. The resentment was evident. The children used as props in the videos were treated as burdens. The entire focus was support for Clancy, not mourning her innocent children. I, along with many other women, felt no camaraderie with this crowd. They turned motherhood into nothing but a burden narrative that portrayed motherhood as a path toward crisis. This is not how motherhood should be perceived or presented.Idealizing motherhood is also damaging. It sugarcoats reality with shiny Instagram images. Other mothers have it all together with their perfect children, house, and husband. Why don’t you? They say comparison is the thief of joy. Social media does much to assault our expectations. Conservatives feel a sense of desperation about the future, and rightly so. One of the areas that has a bleak prognosis is the American family. Promoting the benefits of marriage and parenthood will hopefully cause others to consider that future for themselves. But if we push idealized versions or demand that no complaints can be made, we do a great disservice. We can’t set young people up for failure by selling a life that doesn’t actually exist. Marriage is good. Children are a blessing. Neither marriage nor raising children is easy, but both are absolutely worth it.Out of idealization and fear rose the critics of postpartum mental health struggles. However, labeling these difficulties as the result of selfishness only causes more harm than good. Rapid and severe hormonal shifts following birth can do much to change how a woman feels and responds to her life and those around her. Exhaustion is a main feature of life with a newborn, whether there are older children or not. All this can make life following birth rather difficult. The problems can be mild and short-lived or serious and long-lasting. None of this is “just selfishness.” Yes, parenthood means placing your children first. Life with children is certainly different from life before they were born. There are many adjustments. But dismissing depression or even psychosis, very real things, is unacceptable. Admitting those struggles is not adopting feminism.Motherhood is meaningful not because moms are publicly recognized for their nonstop contributions. It is meaningful because it involves love, sacrifice, responsibility, and caring for someone other than yourself. Those beautiful qualities can and do exist alongside exhaustion, anxiety, grief, and yes, genuine mental health struggles. We can’t promote the former and not admit the latter. We also can’t warn against motherhood simply because the latter exists. The former is worth the hardships.As a society, we have allowed the conversations about motherhood to become a battle between two incomplete visions. One path views motherhood as an obstacle to personal fulfillment. A mother is a woman who has given up on “becoming” something. The other path views motherhood as an endless source of all-consuming joy. A mother is a woman who should never feel overwhelmed by her role. Neither offers a realistic and healthy view of what motherhood entails.Conservatives understand that marriage and family are foundational to a healthy society. So we must do more than celebrate perfect versions of them in theory. It is essential that we talk honestly about the demands these roles place on us. We should encourage strong marriages, involved fathers, and supportive communities. There should be no shame in seeking help when the burdens of family life become difficult to bear.THE LINDSAY CLANCY CASE EXPOSES THE INSANITY DEFENSE LOOPHOLEThe Clancy children, Cora, Dawson, and Callan, should still be here with us. Their deaths are a terrible reminder of why this discussion matters. Their lives mattered far more than the rancorous online debate that followed their deaths. These arguments did little to advance our understanding of motherhood or mental health. We can reject the notion that motherhood is just a burden, while refusing to pretend it is always easy. Postpartum mental health struggles or even regular life stress can be met with compassion without excusing the inexcusable.Motherhood is neither a burden to be avoided nor an idealized picture to be chased. It involves both deep sacrifice and unbelievable joy. We can encourage women to embrace motherhood without pretending it is always easy. Why does this honesty matter? Because of the precious lives of the children entrusted to our care.Kimberly Ross (@SouthernKeeks) is a contributor to the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog and a contributing freelance columnist at the Freemen News-Letter. She is a mother of two and lives in the southern United States.