What age should I start asking my kids for rent – and how much should I ask for?

YOUR kid has got a job or is back under your roof after university, which leaves you facing a tricky question – when should you start to charge them rent? Sky-high property prices and rents mean millions of young adults are still living at home while they try to scrape together a deposit. Lisa Caplan is director of Charles Stanley direct advice and guidance Having an extra adult under your roof can pile pressure on household finances Credit: Getty The proportion of 20 to 34-year-olds living with their parents jumped from 24.5% in 2015 to 28.7% in 2025, according to the latest Office for National Statistics figures. Meanwhile, the average first-time buyer is now 34, according to Skipton Group. Sign up for the Money newsletter Thank you! But having an extra adult under your roof can drive up your food, energy and household bills. Charging rent can help cover these costs while teaching your child how to budget for life on their own. But ask them for too much money and they could struggle to save enough to fly the nest. Lisa Caplan is a chartered financial planner and director of Charles Stanley direct advice and guidance, part of Raymond James Wealth Management. She said: “The aim of parenting is ultimately to launch independent children into adulthood, but it can feel that this is not being achieved if adult children are still living at home.” Here Lisa explains when to start charging your grown-up kids rent – and how much they should pay. Most read in Money When should I start charging rent? It makes most sense to look at how much your child earns and their stage of life Credit: Shutterstock There is no age when parents should suddenly start demanding rent. Instead, it makes more sense to look at what your child is doing and how much they earn. If they are still at school or studying full-time at college, you probably won’t want them to pay rent. But once they have finished full-time education and started earning a regular wage, it is reasonable to ask them to chip in. If they lose their job or are dealing with debts, you could lower the amount or pause payments until they are back on their feet. Give them notice and explain why you want them to contribute, whether that is to cover their share of the bills, teach them budgeting skills or prepare them for moving out. Lisa said: “If you feel the time has come to nudge your fledgling out of the nest, it can help to try to be supportive and encouraging. “Make it about an exciting next stage rather than an eviction.” How much rent should I charge? The rent you charge shouldn’t make life hard for your child Credit: Getty There is no one-size-fits-all figure. It costs parents around £3,400 a year to have an adult child live at home, according to Compare The Market. But the right amount will depend on what your child earns, how much they cost you and whether you need their contribution to make ends meet. To work out how much it is costing you, add up their share of: Food and household shopping Gas and electricity Water Broadband Streaming services Council tax You could then ask them to cover some or all of these costs. Another option is to charge a percentage of their take-home pay. For example, charging 10% would mean that someone taking home £1,500 a month pays £150. If you have more than one kid living at home, this can be fairer than charging them the same amount, particularly if one is on a lower wage than the other. Try not to ask them for the same amount they would pay to rent a room from a private landlord as this could keep them under your roof for longer. Lisa said: “Setting gentle but firm boundaries at home aren’t about punishment, they’re about preparing them for the realities of independent living. “For example, agree a monthly contribution to mimic bills or rent, share household responsibilities, encourage them to manage their own food, laundry and admin. “These aren’t designed to make home life unpleasant, just realistic.” How do I stop them from treating my home like a hotel? Get your child to take responsibility for household tasks, like laundry and cooking Credit: Getty If you’re still cooking every meal, doing their washing and cleaning their bedroom, it may be time to set new ground rules. Ask them to take responsibility for their laundry, food, life admin and share of the housework. Doing this can help them learn the skills they’ll need when they finally get a place of their own. Lisa says household boundaries are not a punishment but a way of making living at home more realistic. The rules could include who cooks on certain nights and which household jobs they are responsible for. How can I set out the rules they need to follow? Writing down what you have agreed can stop arguments further down the line Credit: Getty You don’t need to hand your child a legal contract over a Sunday roast. But writing down what you have agreed can stop arguments later on. Include: How much they will pay When the money is due What their payment covers Which chores they must do How much they plan to save When you will review the arrangement Their target date for moving out You could revisit the deal every six or 12 months, or when their income changes. The aim isn’t to control every penny they spend or make them feel like an unwanted lodger. It’s about setting fair boundaries and making sure you are both working towards the same goal. How can I help them to set savings goals? Make a plan to help your child save up for a house deposit Credit: Getty Cheap or free rent will only help your child move out if they actually save the money. Without a plan, the cash they are saving on rent could easily disappear on clothes, takeaways and nights out. Lisa said: “Helping them financially is not just about giving money to help with the deposit. “Many adult children struggle not because they can’t save, but because they don’t know how much, by when, or for what.” Sit down together and work out what they are saving for and how much they will need. In England the average first-time buyer needs £63,855 for a deposit, according to UK Finance. But it can help to break this down into smaller, more manageable goals. Lisa said: “You can help them set up a savings plan with a defined objective, such as ‘£5,000 deposit contribution saved by December’, with a monthly automated transfer into savings. “You can describe it as putting the money they are saving by not paying rent into a separate bank account for the deposit.” Setting up a standing order for payday means the money is automatically moved into a separate savings account before they can spend it. They may also want to keep their savings separate from their everyday spending cash, so it is easier to see their progress. If you want to help and can afford it, you could offer to match what your child saves. For example, you could add £1 for every £1 they put away. Just make sure you set a limit so you don’t promise more than you can afford. Lisa said: “If you can contribute financially, make the boundaries clear to protect your relationship.” How can I help them to improve their mortgage application? Young people need to understand how mortgages work and what lenders look for Credit: Getty A deposit isn’t the only hurdle standing between your child and their first home. They also need to understand how mortgages work, what lenders will look at and how much they can borrow. Lisa said: “Many young people feel helpless about ever being able to afford to buy a home. “It can be helpful to them to understand how they can get a better mortgage by managing their credit score.” Paying bills and debts on time, registering to vote and checking credit reports for mistakes could strengthen their mortgage application. Lisa added: “Even small changes such as reducing an overdraft, closing unused credit cards can bring affordability within reach.” Before closing a credit card your child should consider how it could affect their credit profile, particularly if it is an account they have held for a long time. Should I become a guarantor? Parents should think twice before becoming a guarantor for the child’s mortgage application Credit: Alamy Parents may be tempted to give their child’s mortgage application a boost by acting as a guarantor. A guarantor mortgage allows you to link your own property or savings to your child’s mortgage application, allowing them to borrow more. This could help them access a mortgage or secure a better rate – but it isn’t a decision to take lightly. Lisa said: “If you are willing to act as guarantor on the mortgage, the rate can be lower, but this is a significant decision and needs to be thought through carefully.” Depending on the deal, you could be on the hook if your child misses their repayments, which could affect your own finances and ability to borrow. Always take independent legal and financial advice before guaranteeing a mortgage or offering your own home or savings as security. When should I ask them to move out? Lisa says moving out should feel like a milestone, and not a rejection Credit: Getty Try to avoid constantly asking when they are going to leave. Instead, agree smaller, practical steps, such as hitting a savings target, clearing an overdraft or speaking to a mortgage adviser. Lisa said: “Moving out should feel like a milestone, not a rejection. “Supporting them through budgeting, viewings and the practicalities of first-time homeownership can turn the process into something empowering and exciting.” She added: “Parents want their adult children to thrive and young adults want independence. “The challenge is bridging the gap without pressure, guilt or financial strain. “With open communication, structured planning and realistic boundaries, families can turn ‘boomerang living’ into a confident step on the property ladder.” 1 comment1