We might be open about masturbation — but there’s one thing we’re still hiding

Masturbation can be one of the most effective ways for you to connect with your own sexuality (Picture: Getty Images) It wasn’t long ago that talking about masturbation was considered extremely taboo — especially for women. Over time, things have generally improved, and attitudes towards self-pleasure are now much healthier — with people openly sharing techniques to help others reach the big O. But while we might be more open about it, there’s one thing many of us are still hiding when we indulge in some ‘me time’, and we might not even realise it. New data has revealed that more than half of people fall into what’s known as a ‘performance trap’ when they masturbate and end up hiding their natural state of arousal. Feeling the need to ‘perform’ during masturbation can be inherently linked to certain stereotypes depicted in porn (Picture: Getty Images) This is according to the 2026 ‘Pleasure Census’, a global study conducted by dating app HUD and Girls Get Off, which gathered insights from 2,183 anonymous individuals across 63 countries to understand exactly what people desire in the bedroom (alone or with a partner). Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. The survey revealed that while 84 per cent of Gen Z engage in solo pleasure weekly, more than half (54 per cent) often catch themselves ‘performing’ — even when completely alone. Across all age groups, the percentage of people falling into the ‘performance trap’ lowers to 44 per cent, but that’s still nearly half of all respondents. Sign up to The Hook-Up, Metro's sex and dating newsletter Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom? Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us! So, what does that mean? What is the ‘performance trap’? Performing during solo sex can look like several things, sexologist Becky Crepsley-Fox tells Metro. In the Pleasure Census, it was explained to users as ‘thinking about how you look, sound, or “should” feel. Instead of being fully present in the experience, you’re thinking about how you might be perceived, even if no one is there.’ Essentially, Becky notes, it means not letting your natural arousal lead the way. She explains: ‘Because so many of us fall into the habit of “performing” during partnered sex, plenty of people find it surprisingly hard to switch that off when they’re on their own. Feeling the need to ‘perform’ during solo pleasure impacts both men and women (Picture: Getty Images) ‘People find themselves exaggerating vocally, pulling the faces they subconsciously think a partner wants to see, and moving their body in a way that doesn’t actually flow with the current of their arousal — arching into positions they think look attractive, even when there’s no one there to admire them.’ ‘For a generation raised on porn, it can be genuinely hard to unlearn the way we think we’re supposed to behave during sex,’ she continues. ‘For many women, this comes from years of absorbing the idea that sex is something to be looked at, that how you appear matters as much as how you feel. For many men, it’s the pull of porn’s pacing and exaggerated reactions. ‘Of course, these overlap; plenty of women watch porn, and plenty of men carry that same pressure to look a certain way, but either way, the internal ‘audience’ doesn’t switch off just because you’re alone.’ Have you ever fallen into the 'performance trap'? Love juicy stories? Need some sex tips to spice things up in the bedroom? Sign up for The Hook Up Newsletter now Katie Dissanayake, the sex and dating expert at HUD App, attributes Gen Z’s relationship with the ‘performance trap’ to a lifetime of being surrounded by screens and cameras. She tells Metro that appearance anxiety during sex is a constant among young people, with 73 per cent reporting that it is a concern. Being the first generation to grow up in a world that is constantly being captured and shared online, it’s understandable that the expectations people place on their appearance during sex can spill over into masturbation. Questions such as ‘do men take a lot of notice of a girl’s body during sex?’ or ‘should I moan during sex?’ regularly crop up on social media platforms like Reddit. But while performing during solo time might sometimes come from a place of insecurity, Becky argues that this ‘trap’ is not always a bad thing. People may feel as though they need to ‘perform’ in a certain way in order to engage with their sexuality (Picture: Getty Images) How can ‘performing’ during masturbation be helpful? Given that some people lean on fantasy or porn during solo sex, Becky says ‘performing’ can help them cast themselves as a more active participant in whatever they’re picturing – and seeing yourself enjoying it in your mind’s eye can genuinely amp up the pleasure. ‘There’s an upside physically, too,’ she adds ‘If part of your “performance” is grabbing your own breasts or stroking your body, you turn masturbation into a full-body experience rather than a purely genital one. ‘There’s also something nice about the feedback loop of your own sounds; letting yourself be vocal can build arousal rather than break it.’ Deals of the Day Parents can save up to 30% on Kickers school shoes ahead of the new term The back-to-school hack that's helping parents avoid queues and sold-out sizes Could your hair be wavy rather than straight? This brand thinks so Could your star sign improve your skincare routine? This new beauty launch thinks so Best skincare for menopausal skin? This dermatologist-created treatment is tailored to you Ultimately, Becky notes that the trick is knowing the difference between a performance that adds to your pleasure and one that pulls you out of it. Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk Arrow MORE: The sex act women wish men would do more as it’s the ‘hottest thing ever’ Arrow MORE: My ‘wonderful’ boyfriend left me out of the blue – but that’s not what hurts the most Arrow MORE: The date was going well – then I saw the note on her phone The Hook Up Metro's hottest newsletter, with juicy stories and tips for spicing things up in the bedroom. 18+