We had a week of incredible sex — but now I can’t stop crying

This week’s diarist is about to break-off her long-distance relationship (Picture: Myles Goode) Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger. This week we hear from Anika*, a 24-year-old marketing professional in London, who is about to break up with her long-distance boyfriend. ‘I met Leo* on a holiday in Da Nang, Vietnam,’ she says. ‘We were both at university at the time and travelling during our summer break. ‘He was kind and charismatic. It was a bit of a whirlwind, we felt like we had met our match.’ They sex they had was great, too. ‘It was passionate, and we were always open to trying new things,’ she says. ‘I felt very seen by him, he cared for what I liked and enjoyed making me orgasm. When we weren’t together, we sexted a lot as well.’ Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. But after four years visiting each other in London and the US, their plans to move in together fell through, when Leo decided to stay in the states for university. ‘He stopped talking about moving in together or making future plans all together,’ Anika adds. ‘The vibe shifted. All future planning stopped and things had pretty much hit a dead end.’ This week, Anika is travelling to Boston to see Leo, but with a heavy heart, she knows this will likely be goodbye. Without further ado, here’s how Anika got on… The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work. Monday I leave my house early to catch my flight to Boston. I’m excited, but less so than usual. I can’t quite shake the thought that this might be the last time I see Leo. After an excruciating eight-hour flight, I land in Boston around midday. I see my boyfriend for the first time in eight months. He’s wearing a leather jacket and holding lilies. We hug and kiss, and it feels so good to finally smell and feel him again. We head back to his condo, which I’m seeing for the first time since he moved. I freshen up, and he joins me in the shower. We kiss and make out, and everything feels cosy and familiar. I’m turned on, but too exhausted for anything more. After a long nap, we lie in bed cuddling and talking until evening. Every so often, the thought that these could be our final days together makes my heart drop. I quickly push it away. I don’t want to ruin our first day together. That evening, we go to a bar. After a few drinks, we’re making out, and things get heated. I can feel how turned on he is, but I don’t want to go home yet. I know that once we’re back, I’ll have to confront the thoughts I’ve been pushing away. For now, we’re happy, together and a little drunk, and I don’t want to cut the moment short. I just want to enjoy having him back. Tuesday I wake up happier than usual and excited for the day. I know we’re not going to be able to keep our hands off each other. We cuddle before he gets up to make breakfast. I sit on the counter kissing and touching him, and it doesn’t take long before we’re both turned on. I get down on my knees and give him a blowjob until he finishes. I’ve longed to hear him moan so this makes me very happy. He then goes down on me, and I completely lose it. I guess eight months of build-up will do that. He’s working a half-day from home, and I have only one job — distracting him. While he works, there’s a lot of teasing, tension and making out. It’s difficult to keep my hands off him. That evening, we go to an indie bar. After a few drinks, we’re making out again and things get steamy. I whisper that we should take this home, although I’m enjoying the PDA just as much. After eight months apart, I don’t really care who is watching. Back at his place, we can’t wait to get each other’s clothes off. We have sex in doggy style in the living room before moving to the bedroom where I ride him. Everything is messy and hazy from the drinks, but I remember one thought very clearly. I don’t want this to end. I want it to last because, somewhere in the back of my mind, I know that sex with anyone else will never feel quite like this again. I feel like I’m losing the only man who has truly understood me. Wednesday After last night’s action, it feels like we’re properly back together. I can also feel the post-sex hormones hitting me harder than usual. He’s working from home again today. I know we’ll probably get some action, but I can’t ignore his silence. He hasn’t mentioned any plans for when we’ll see each other again. Usually, by this point, we’d already be talking about our next visit. I knew my instinct was right. Things are different this time. He’s about to start medical school, and our plans to move in together at the beginning of 2027 don’t seem realistic anymore. With five years of medical school followed by residency, it’s becoming clear that our relationship has probably reached its end. I would have loved some reassurance from him, but he carries on with his day as if there is nothing to talk about. Thursday I wake up anxious. I know I can’t go on without finally addressing everything. He’s on leave today, and we’ve planned to walk in the park and get coffee in the afternoon, so I decide to wait until then to bring it up. He tells me he would have loved for us to finally move in together later in the year. But now he’s moving on and starting a new life. He says he knows it’s not far to drag me along, and that the decision is ultimately in my hands. He offers that we could still meet and travel together over the summer, but it’s becoming less realistic to think of us as a long-term couple. I have a lump in my throat, but I hold back. It’s one thing to accept that our relationship is ending. It’s another to hear him suggest turning it into a situationship. I tell him it’s over. We walk back home in silence. Friday I wake up sad but also somehow relieved. At least we’ve finally had the conversation, and I now know where we stand. I decide to take a solo walk that morning and call my friend back home. She tells me I need to stop holding back and let him know how I really feel. If we’re going to say goodbye, we both need to be honest with each other. Back at his, I do just that. We talk for hours, both of us getting emotional. He holds me in his arms, and we lose track of time. I feel a bit blindsided and I tell him the suggestion of a situationship was disrespectful. In the end, I wonder if I liked him more than he liked me all along. Somehow, despite everything that was said the day before, the closeness between us makes it difficult to remember that we’re supposed to be ending things. We end up having sex again while spooning and I climax. This time it is tender and comforting. No loud moaning, just two people wanting more of each other. But this leaves me even more confused. We’ve just accepted our relationship is over, yet physically, nothing about us feels finished. Saturday We both know I’m going back tomorrow. There’s no pretending anymore, so I decide to make the most of the day — and of him. While we’re lying in bed, I look over at him. He looks sexier than ever. I reach over and pull him closer to me. We kiss passionately, and I pull down his pants and stroke his c**k. We’re so turned on by this point that we don’t need any warm-up. I start riding him as he squeezes my bum. When he finishes, we decide to go again, this time bent against the dresser. He spanks me, and we have the most passionate sex. We then take a shower together, still playing and teasing each other. For a moment, it feels as if nothing has changed. The rest of the day goes slowly. We spend most of it packing and awkwardly looking at each other. In the evening, he makes me dinner, and we fall asleep in each other’s arms, probably for the last time, in the early hours of the morning. More like this... Sunday I head to the airport to catch my flight home, and we hug each other for the longest time. Goodbyes are never easy, and what I thought would give me closure hasn’t made it any easier. We don’t speak much. There isn’t much left to be said anyway. We just hug tightly, as if neither of us wants to let go, and then we kiss one last time before I walk towards check-in. He looks quite emotional. I try to hold back my tears in front of him, but eventually break down in the airport toilet. When I tell him I cried after he left, he says he cried in the car on the drive back home as well. Physically walking away was very tough, even after knowing it was coming. I could not have prepared myself mentally for it. I get home late that evening, and climbing into my bed, I’ve never felt lonelier. I went on this trip knowing it was a goodbye, hoping that spending one last week together would make the blow a little softer. But while sex can be passionate and powerful, but it isn’t powerful enough to overcome all the emotions that come with saying goodbye to someone you love. Deals of the Day Parents can save up to 30% on Kickers school shoes ahead of the new term The back-to-school hack that's helping parents avoid queues and sold-out sizes Could your hair be wavy rather than straight? This brand thinks so Could your star sign improve your skincare routine? This new beauty launch thinks so Best skincare for menopausal skin? This dermatologist-created treatment is tailored to you I definitely need to be alone for a while. Do you have a story you’d like to share? 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