Trump Launches Website for His Hideous Arch That’s Also a Sniper’s Nest Because Boys Will Be Boys

Remember President Donald Trump’s hideous Triumphal Arch? The plans for a 250-foot monstrosity in the traffic circle on Washington, DC’s Columbia Island, which Trump suddenly announced would also be a sniper’s nest when it became clear Congress wouldn’t fund the idea and courts might block it? The national monument slash sniper’s nest that is completely necessary for national security, of course? The one that looks like Jeff Koons designed the base defenses for a parody U.S.A. faction in Command & Conquer? Well, a federal judge may have imposed a 14-day timeout on the arch’s construction this week, but Trump’s roll won’t be slowed. The White House has now launched a glitzy website complete with CGI panoramic views of the plans, letting internet denizens observe it in all of its stupid glory. The announcement further fluffs the administration’s efforts to sell the arch as a patriotic project, retitling it to “The United States Military Triumphal Arch.” “The United States Military Triumphal Arch celebrates America’s first 250 years and stands as a symbol of its next 250,” the site reads. “It serves as a solemn entrance to Arlington National Cemetery, honoring the heroes who gave their lives for our freedom, and as a grand gateway to the capital of the nation that has been, and will forever be, the greatest force for freedom and goodness in the history of the world.” Renders show the stark-white arch with gold-colored detailing and three giant statues on top, the central of which looks like a version of Lady Liberty holding a torch the admin found for free on Sketchfab. It’s emblazoned “ONE NATION UNDER GOD.” The exact location of the proposed sniper’s nest is not immediately visible from the renders, but perhaps they forgot to include a rifle barrel sticking out of an embrasure somewhere. © graphic via https://triumphalarch.com/ © graphic via https://triumphalarch.com/ Note that the arch’s proposed location between Arlington Cemetery and the Lincoln Memorial, which would block the view of the memorial and broader National Mall from many grave plots, is the specific point of contention that motivated a group of Vietnam War veterans to file the ongoing lawsuit that resulted in this week’s stop-work order. That ruling overrode the project’s approval a single day earlier by the National Capital Planning Commission, which is stacked with Trump loyalists. “The White House commends the National Capital Planning Commission’s decision to fully approve President Trump’s historic vision to build a much-needed Triumphal Arch in Washington, D.C.,” White House spokesperson Davis Ingle posted on X following the court’s decision. “An activist district court thereafter blocked the construction of the project.” “This will be the greatest and most beautiful triumphal arch, anywhere in the world,” the website quotes Trump as saying. Well, no accounting for taste. The arch’s website launches days after Democrats retook the House and Senate in midterm elections that punished Republicans and has largely been interpreted as a referendum on Trump himself. Inbound Democrats are likely to investigate projects like the arch and the White House State Ballroom on the former site of the East Wing, meaning it’s possible this abomination will never come to fruition.