There’s a Rule About Babies at My Partner’s Job. Her Co-Workers Broke It—and Her Reaction Has Shaken Me to My Core.

Care and Feeding Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Getty Images Plus. This is a newsletter bonus question. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here. Dear Care and Feeding, My partner works at a ski lift, and under no circumstances are infants allowed on it. Well, her co-workers let a family with a baby in a sling on, and I’m appalled at my partner’s reaction. She wasn’t working that lift that day, but from what I can tell, she was part of their discussions about what to do. Ultimately, she washed her hands of it, and told me she “doesn’t care” as long as no one gets hurt. But someone could have! And no supervisors were informed about the incident. I’m shaken—this came out of nowhere. I love her and have always known her to be one of the kindest, most compassionate people I’ve met. I don’t want to overreact, and part of me hopes that I’m incorrect on the safety risks in this situation, but it does seem like a big deal. It makes me feel sick thinking she might be so cavalier about infant safety. I can’t even figure out how to bring it up again without being accusatory. Please help. —Worried Dear Worried, Should you try again to gently explain to your partner that letting an infant go on a ski lift is a terrible idea? Yes, and I wish you all the patience in the world, considering that, well, this is a person who needs convincing of that sort of thing. Hopefully, this is a situation that won’t come up again—how many people are idiodic enough to do and/or allow such a thing (with all due disrespect to your person). You should absolutely inform management at her job what happened! Pretend to be another client who witnessed what happened and say that you were horrified. You also need to consider that your partner has a very different approach to safety than you do, and how that might factor into the future you may wish to have with her. Is this someone you could trust with a child? Is she one of those people who’s generally blasé about other folks’ children, but would be super protective of her own? These are things to consider. And even if you don’t have plan to have your own kids, would you trust her to be around children from your village? Does she take risks as it relates to her own safety and/or that of people around her? Is this a rare lack of good common sense or does she seem to be incapable of making proper adult decisions? Proceed accordingly. —Jamilah More Parenting Advice I’ve been in the lives of my stepchildren (ages 16 and 12) for nine years, and my husband includes me in all decision-making about them. They live with us half the time and their mother the other half. I do the homework help, doctor’s appointment scheduling, lesson booking, and a number of other basic parental support roles. (To clarify, my husband is an outstanding parent—he just has nonexecutive strengths.) My husband and I have always silently disagreed with the kids’ mom about most things. Never miss new Slate Advice columns Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays. Advice Family Kids