The World Cup final’s half-time show is an abomination

NEW YORK CITY – When Gianni Infantino said last year that the World Cup would be the equivalent of “104 Super Bowls”, we assumed that he meant massive sporting occasions that would dominate the sports news agenda across the globe. Actually, he was signposting matches being broken up into manufactured quarters with an overly long break in the middle for some musicians to play. Listen, fair play. In New Jersey on Sunday, the biggest match in world football for four years will have its typical fabric altered to accommodate Justin Bieber and Madonna, amongst others. Shakira will be there too, although in fairness the Colombian singing temptress seems to have been at almost as many matches as Infantino over the last six weeks. The official word was that the half-time show would only last 11 minutes, but now we hear that it will be 30 minutes long. Ifab’s laws of the game dictate that half-time should be 15 minutes in length but who cares about such trifles when you can make it up and make money as you go along. I’m perfectly prepared to be considered grumpy and melodramatic when that grumpiness combines with football, but is this not an absolute disgrace? In the highest-profile, most important match, we are shifting the fabric of the match itself to accommodate something that has no relation to the sporting contest and thus actively risks harming it. The players will have to adapt. Are they not supposed to be the star turns here? On the Road USA Join Daniel Storey on his 7,500-mile odyssey across the US to tell the stories of a World Cup like no other. Sign up to his free newsletter here and get it delivered to your inbox throughout the tournament. Also – and this is a point that is worth screaming until it makes you sick – closing ceremonies are already a thing and provide a context for major sporting events to crowbar in musicians and other entertainers without interrupting the usual flow of that sporting event. They are crap and nobody cares about them but at least they can be ignored because the match itself hasn’t started. That is the most lamentable aspect of this initiative: you already have your nonsense window! It includes Nicole Scherzinger, Robbie Williams and Tom Cruise, for some reason. And now you’re opening another just because you can and you love glamour and money. It’s tempting to rant here about infantilisation – Infantinolisaiton? Bit much? – and Americanisation of the World Cup, wrapping everything in red-white-and-blue paper and throwing sparkly sprinkles over it to keep the casual domestic audience interested. But I think that’s probably mostly guff too. The American audience doesn’t want this. The majority of supporters don’t want this. The players and staff don’t want this. The media doesn’t want this. The only people that do want this are several people at Fifa and the musicians (and their management). So roughly 100 people compared to a television audience of 1.5 billion. As hit rates go… This is the mistake that those in charge of football continue to deliberately make: using football as a vehicle for other cultural entertainment undermines the occasion because football merits being the only protagonist in its own show. Briefly parading every living World Cup final goalscorer at half-time at each final? Appropriate. A Korean boyband performing to increase ad revenue from Asia? Inappropriate. Read more Kat Lucas: Help! I’ve been sportswashed by Trump’s America Michael Hincks: Thomas Tuchel is taking us all for fools As ever, we should take our lead from German football fan culture. In 2017, the DFB introduced singer Helene Fischer to perform at half-time of Borussia Dortmund vs Eintracht Frankfurt. The commentators called it a symbol of unwanted commercialisation, Frankfurt sporting director Fredi Bobic railed against “Hollywood during football” and the entire stadium booed Fischer’s performance. Neither she nor any other artist was used again. It won’t make any difference. These people are elite-level non-listeners. I hope you’re ready for 2034, when every game in Riyadh will probably have a half-time show sponsored by Aramco. That’s the evergreen message: it can always get worse (and Fifa will ensure it does)