The six surprising benefits of quitting something you feel you must keep doing

The famous face giving up on a trial on I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here and losing the next public vote. The couple deciding to call time on their marriage “too early”. The once-passionate gym-goer ending a membership. Some of us may view their decisions as failures, perhaps laziness, or not trying hard enough, which is why quitting needs a rebrand. This is the strong belief of Health and Care Professions Council (HCPC) psychologist Dr Tara Quinn-Cirillo, who says that viewing the action of ending something as automatically negative can keep us trapped. But it’s not our fault that we’re wired to think this way, she adds. “We live in a society that says ‘we finish stuff, we don’t quit’, and this message is plugged into us through a goal-oriented school system, caregivers, social media and wider society. This could lead to developing our own internal rules and casting internal judgements, and shaming ourselves for quitting,” she summarises. Shorts Quinn-Cirillo says that instead we should be embracing some forms of quitting. “When it is informed, considered and aligned with our values, permitting ourselves to question whether what we’re doing fits the life we want can be revolutionary.” Here are the surprising benefits. It can prevent burn-out “Jobs, balanced with families, friends, health goals and everything else, can be a lot. Even the stuff that’s good for us, like mindfulness, we may end up making it more of a chore, another tick-box to add to our ever expanding to-do lists. We take on so much that we head into overwhelm territory, but we often don’t realise it until we suffer from burn-out. Quitting something can be you setting a beneficial boundary. It can free up your cognitive aptitude, which gives you the capacity to think and breathe.” You will discover values “Often when we set ourselves goals, we choose very specific things. For instance, you may sign up to do Couch to 5K. There’s a chance you quickly find out that running isn’t enjoyable for you and it hurts your knees, but you feel obligated to continue. In those moments, you will hopefully think about the values behind your original decision. It may have been to reduce the likelihood of heart disease that runs in your family, or to be fit for your children. You will then be able to pick something new based on this, so you can see it as a redirection that maintains the original goal, but brings more joy and fulfilment.” It creates space and time “I’m not saying we should quit everything, but if we keep doing the same thing because it’s what has always been done, that’s not helpful. You could stay in a romantic relationship or friendship that doesn’t serve you, and that’s blocking you from freeing up mental and practical capacity for new things that could make you happier. “The time, energy and attention tied up in one commitment can be redirected elsewhere, leading to fresh opportunities, interests and experiences. Many major athletes subscribe to the theory that small changes make a bigger difference than one big change, and there is reason for this. You may suddenly notice that you haven’t reached out to a certain friend in a while because you’re rigidly in a book club that actually doesn’t align with you any more.” Dr Tara Quinn-Cirillo says that instead we should be embracing some forms of quitting It is empowering “One of the benefits of quitting is realising that you have the autonomy to decide what you want and don’t want, which can be really empowering and good for our mental health. Each time we listen to our instincts and make a decision that aligns with our needs, we build confidence in our own judgement. Over time, this can help us trust ourselves more, and rely less on external validation. Trusting that your body and mind know what is good for you will give you more confidence in other aspects of life.” It can improve mental and physical health “There is a close relationship between the mind and body. When we continue activities that cause stress, pressure and overwhelm, the physical effects can show up in our blood pressure, heart rate, immune function, energy levels and hormonal health. You could be putting yourself under pressure right up to bedtime, flopping into bed, and then wondering why you can’t sleep. “Therefore, quitting something can reduce anxiety and improve mood. This creates more capacity for rest and recovery, which can impact your immune system, libido and sleep. It almost sounds fantastical, but people don’t realise how easy, accessible and free it is to see these positive changes. Even small adjustments can have a significant effect.” It can prompt a wider life review “Removing something from your life can almost be a butterfly effect. It’s like a game of chess. You move one piece, get a better view of the queen, and suddenly you notice more of what your pawns are doing. We don’t often have time to reflect, and that’s where growth is. “I advise scheduling a weekly check-in, looking at your life from a distance. On a walk or during a quiet moment, reflect on one area of your life. It could be work, relationships, health, family commitments… Ask yourself: What’s working? What’s not? It gets us off that hamster wheel, and you can assess whether you need to quit something or you’ve just hit a bump in the road. “It doesn’t have to be an instant thing – it can be something you mull over. You could try removing something for a week, and then see if it makes you feel better. Sometimes we don’t know untilwe assess and do a little bit of trial and error.”