The noisy turn-on women love but men find ’embarrassing’

Women are desperate for men to embrace this ‘underrated’ part of sex (Picture: Getty Images) While men and women may both agree that 69 is ‘one of the worst’ sex positions out there, that’s where the consensus ends. In fact, when it comes to sexual pleasure, the battle of the sexes is truly alive and well. Ladies, for example, adore cowgirl, while men are far more aroused by the same position in reverse. And, unsurprisingly, that’s not where the dispute ends. Recently, women on Reddit have been sharing just how much they love it when their men moan during sex, rather than remaining silent while they’re giving their best Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail. Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. One user confessed ‘it ‘turns me on and gives me butterflies,’ while another, @sufficient_video, noted: ‘As a woman, I NEED more men moaning during sex. I need to know you are feeling it!’ So much of what young people learn about sex comes from pornography (Picture: Getty Images) However, men seem unconvinced. Sign up to The Hook-Up, Metro's sex and dating newsletter Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom? Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us! While women seem to crave the intimate act, calling it ‘sexy’, ‘pure gold,’ and revealing it ‘drives [them] wild’, some men don’t seem to feel confident enough to let their vocal chords run riot. In the subreddit r/TooAfraidToAsk, one man responded to the question ‘why don’t men moan during sex?’ by sharing that he ‘felt “weird” making noises.’ Men might be ’embarrassed’ about moaning due to certain stereotypes they’ve seen play out in pornography (Picture: Getty Images) One commenter called it ’embarrassing,’ while @_Richter_Belmont_ wrote: ‘I think it’s viewed as feminine, or submissive in a sense. I think men are also concerned with being “good” and might view their own moaning as awkward or off-putting.’ ‘A lot of what we men are doing in bed involves self-control,’ @ptolani added. ‘Getting it up, keeping it up, not cumming too soon, not taking too long to cum. It’s natural to control sound as well.’ Why do women love moaning during sex? ‘Moaning is one of the most underrated parts of sex — and I’d argue one of the most important,’ sexologist and relationship psychotherapist Becky Crepsley-Fox tells Metro. ‘It’s a way of telling your partner what’s working and what isn’t, without either of you having to stop and break the moment to talk about it. For a lot of people, knowing their partner is enjoying themselves is a powerful aphrodisiac.’ The girlies on Reddit clearly support this theory, with @CityLightsTakeMeHome writing: ‘I like to hear how much he wants me when he moans.’ Another woman expanded on this, noting: ‘I like hearing the feedback from what we’re doing — his breathing getting heavier, the groans and even the sound the bed makes as sex progresses.’ Moaning can be a powerful way for a couple to connect during sex (Picture: Getty Images) Becky explains that a lot of women carry a tremendous amount of worry about whether or not their partner is enjoying themselves. So, dirty talk, moans, and groans can provide an answer in real time — with no anxious mind-reading required. ‘Beyond the practical, moaning can deepen a couple’s connection,’ she continues. ‘There’s something profoundly vulnerable about letting someone see you in a moment of pleasure — losing a little control in front of them. ‘In tantra, there’s a belief that pleasure you don’t express gets “stuck” in the body, so letting it out vocally is seen as a route to a fuller, more whole-body experience.’ Why are some men afraid of moaning in sex? A number of men who’ve discussed feeling ’embarrassed’ about moaning during sex link it to the idea that certain emotional outpourings are considered more ‘feminine’. ‘Men, in my experience, are the ones who most often hold back,’ Becky explains. ‘We’ve taught men to suppress their emotions in nearly every direction, and moaning is no exception. If a man’s grown up being told he shouldn’t cry, it’s a stretch to expect he’ll feel free to moan.’ In her opinion, porn compounds this existing issue. Some women on social media have described moaning as the ‘ultimate turn-on’ (Picture: Getty Images) ‘Mainstream heterosexual porn has largely been made with a male viewer in mind, which is why the woman’s pleasure and vocalisation tend to be turned right up while the man’s stays minimal — it lets the viewer imagine they’re the one giving her that pleasure,’ says Becky. ‘A man moaning loudly would get in the way of that fantasy. So we’ve all absorbed, from two directions at once, the idea that moaning is a female thing and men are meant to stay quiet.’ But with moaning clearly a massive turn on for so many women, how do men move away from this archaic mindset? Well, as Becky aptly puts it, ‘the first step, as it so often is with sex, is simply talking about it.’ ‘If you’re a man who hesitates — worried your noises might be off-putting – my advice is to say exactly that to your partner,’ she adds. ‘I’d put money on the response being some version of “I’d love it if you did.” Partners want that feedback loop; hearing you enjoy yourself is a turn-on for them.’ Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk Deals of the Day Wuka launches the UK’s first period-proof swimwear for heavy flows Bridgerton fans are rushing to buy these new Netflix-inspired perfumes now £12 off The affordable summer wardrobe update you'll wear from rooftop drinks to beach holidays The £7.99 lip balm beauty fans love for glossy, hydrated lips just dropped four new shades This Keskine hydrogel mask could fix your summer skin Arrow MORE: Boob sweat is totally normal — so why are women still being shamed for it? 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