The nine skills your children actually need at university

University isn’t really a test of whether your child can cook pasta – it’s their first extended opportunity to discover that they can solve problems without you, their parent or guardian. While Google and TikTok can teach them many things – from how to unblock a sink, to how to defrost a freezer – there are some life skills that are best left to the experts. Whether it’s how to get home safely after a night out, how to be alone or how to avoid food poisoning, we’ve spoken to the experts to get their words of wisdom before your child flies the nest. How and when to say no “Becoming more independent at university is exciting, and part of that process is learning to set boundaries to support and protect yourself as a young adult. Sharing a living space, meeting new people from completely different worlds and starting new relationships can create challenges even for the most chilled-out student. “Learning how to express disagreement calmly is a really useful life skill, and phrases such as ‘It seems like we have different views, let’s agree to disagree’, or ‘I hear what you’re saying, but that’s not how I’ve experienced it’ can defuse a range of awkward situations, whether discussing politics, or a mutual friend’s behaviour. Shorts “Consent is also an important topic at university and making sure our young adults check that they are comfortable with an intimate situation as it progresses by asking themselves, ‘How do I feel right now?’, ‘Am I going along with this to keep the peace?’ or ‘How will I feel about this tomorrow?’ will be empowering and reassuring. Remind your young person that boundaries matter and keep us all safe in a complicated world, while helping us to develop our confidence and independence.” Dr Dominique Thompson, former university GP, TEDx speaker and author of the Student Wellbeing Series and co-author of How to Grow a Grown Up How to avoid food poisoning “For many young people, university is the first time they have been completely responsible for buying, storing and cooking their own food. Add a shared kitchen, limited fridge space, takeaways and a student budget into the mix and it is easy for food safety to slip. “Highlight the difference between best-before and use-by dates – the former is about quality, the latter is about safety. “Fridge temperatures should be kept between 0°C and 5°C – an inexpensive thermometer is an effective way to monitor this. “Advise them never to wash any raw meat, poultry or fish – splashes containing bacteria can lead to contamination – and to store this on the bottom shelf of the fridge to avoid cross-contamination, a common source of food poisoning. If this isn’t possible, encourage them to keep them away from ready-to-eat foods and cover and seal opened packets in leak-proof containers. “Food should be cooked thoroughly until it is steaming hot all the way through; follow label instructions. Leftovers should be cooled and refrigerated within two hours, eaten within 48 hours if refrigerated and only reheated once. Rice needs extra care. “Prepare surfaces with antibacterial spray – and don’t wipe it away immediately. Disinfectants need ‘contact time’ to do their job. Wash and replace dishcloths and sponges regularly. And students should always wash their hands with soap and water before preparing food and immediately after handling raw meat, poultry or fish. “These few simple habits can keep everyone safe and healthy – even amidst the chaos of a student kitchen.” Natalie Stanton, environmental health officer and founder and director of The Safety Expert Does your child know what to do in a power cut? (Photo: Elva Etienne/Getty) What to do in a power cut “From a UK domestic electrical perspective, the first thing to establish is whether the power cut is just affecting your property or whether the neighbours’ power is off as well. If the whole area is without power, it’s likely to be a network fault, so there’s no need to start investigating your own electrical installation. You can report a power cut to your local Distribution Network Operator by calling 105 free of charge. “If it’s only your property, have a look at the consumer unit and see whether a miniature circuit breaker (MCB) or residual current device (RCD) has tripped. If you can clearly identify the tripped device, it’s generally safe to reset it once. If it trips again, leave it off. Don’t keep resetting it, as there’s likely to be a fault with an appliance, circuit or the installation that needs investigating. “If you notice any burning smell, buzzing or crackling, scorch marks, exposed wiring, sparks or water near electrical equipment, keep well clear and get professional help. If there’s an immediate risk of fire or electric shock, call 999. “During a prolonged power cut, unplug sensitive equipment such as televisions, computers and other electronics, and leave one light switched on so you know when the supply comes back. Keep the fridge and freezer doors shut as much as possible to retain the cold. “When the electricity does return, don’t immediately switch everything on at once. Give the supply a little time to stabilise, then bring appliances back into use gradually. And importantly, never attempt to feed a generator into your house through a socket. If you need backup generation, it needs to be properly connected and isolated by a suitably qualified electrician.” Daniel Dunning, NICEIC accredited electrician of 18 years, comparebuilders.co.uk How to apologise “Sometimes, a young person may not have had previous experience of conflict resolution and may have always relied upon you to help process experiences. They may initially struggle without that support. Offering skills in a coaching, rather than instructional way, is more likely to land with them. It is not solely about apologising, but also encouraging them to be able to see things from multiple viewpoints. In addition to this helping resolve any difficulties, it helps them see when an apology may be needed, how to do so genuinely, and help them to learn when to let things go.” Counselling Directory member Victoria Froome, author of ‘Starting University: A Student’s Guide to Mental Health, Wellbeing and Navigating the Transition to University‘ Learning how to apoloise is a key skill (Photo: Manu Vega/Getty/Moment RF) How to deal with a burn or scald Hot pans and hobs, hair straighteners or curling irons, lighters, cigarettes can all cause burns, while even a mug of hot tea or the steam from a kettle, pan or microwave can inflict surprisingly painful scalds. “A burn can be caused by dry heat such as contact with fire, a hot iron or exposure to the sun. A scald can be caused by contact with wet heat, like steam or a hot cup of tea. The longer the burning goes on, the more severe the injury. The priority is to cool the burn or scald as quickly as possible by running under cool water for at least 10 minutes or until the pain feels better. Remove any jewellery or clothing, unless stuck to the burn, before the area begins to swell. Once cooled, cover the area loosely with cling film. Do not use ice, creams or gels or break blisters as this could cause infections. Monitor the casualty and seek medical advice.” Dr Lynn Thomas, medical director, St John Ambulance How to manage your time “This is likely to be the first time your young person has had to manage their own time, and this is a skill that isn’t taught. The lack of external structure makes this tough and can leave them oscillating between extremes. You can help here by helping them to split up what the different demands are on their time, and break that down – for example studying, part-time work, socialising and life admin. In addition, encouraging them to allow themselves time for resetting and recharging – and emphasising the importance of this.” Victoria Froome Managing time is a skill that will take them through into adulthood (Photo: Nikada/Getty) How to deal with a cut Whether it’s chopping food, picking up a broken glass or bottle or putting up a shelf, a cut needs proper care and attention. “A cut is when the skin is fully broken. Cuts are common injuries that can usually be treated at home. To treat a cut, raise and support the injured part above the level of the heart and avoid touching the wound. Clean around the wound with soap and water, making sure to wipe away from the wound using a clean swab for each stroke. Pat dry. Remove the cloth or gauze covering the wound and apply a sterile dressing or a large plaster. Seek medical help if the wound won’t stop bleeding, there is a foreign object embedded in the wound such as glass or a splinter, the wound is from a human or animal bite or if you think the wound may be infected. Encourage them to find out where the first aid kit in their hall of residence is before they need it or, if they’re living independently, a basic first aid kit is an unsexy, but important settling-in gift.” Dr Lynn Thomas How to be alone “Feeling that you belong is one of the most important human wellbeing needs. When students feel isolated and lonely they may become more anxious or less able to enjoy their new life on campus. However, it is very common for students to have periods of feeling lonely, and it can take time to find ‘your people’. One of the best ways to meet like-minded people with shared values is through volunteering, so if your young person is struggling to connect with their peers, it can be very supportive to help them find a local (often through the students’ union) volunteering organisation that will give them purpose and potential friends. “The ‘midterm blues’ are also an unexpected hiccup for many students, as the buzz of freshers’ week fades, and the reality of academic work kicks in. Early friendships may have been transient, and perhaps they have not found their ‘tribe’ yet. “Flagging the blues to them as a concept to watch out for may be helpful in allowing them to recognise it (if it happens), and know that it too will be transient, if they can keep making an effort by trying new things. “Homesickness is common of course, and can be alleviated with planning the next meet-up or by sending small ‘care packages’ of favourite treats, but if it is leading to a student isolating themselves or feeling too low in mood to engage with daily activities then it is important for them to contact the Student Wellbeing team, who are there to help with these common issues.” Dr Dominique Thompson Teach them how to get home safely at night (Photo: Sol de Zuasnabar Brebbia/Getty) How to get home safely “When going out at night, planning ahead is key: make sure there is one person you trust who knows where you are going, who you are meeting and when you expect to return. When out with friends, look out for one another by travelling back together where possible and checking in when each person arrives home. “If you are travelling by taxi, find out which licensed taxis and private hire vehicles operate in the area. Check that the vehicle displays a licence and share information about your journey and the vehicle with someone you trust. If you feel worried or threatened, trust your instincts and ask the driver to stop in a busy area so that you can get out. “When using public transport, wait in a busy, well-lit area where possible. Trust your instinct and do not be afraid to move if someone’s behaviour causes you concern. Non-emergency incidents on the rail network can be reported to British Transport Police by texting 61016. In an emergency, call 999. “Everyone has the right to be safe, and while we can all take action to try to mitigate risks, responsibility always lies with the person who chooses to cause harm.” Suzy Lamplugh Trust