The John Lewis Christmas advert proves everything wrong with modern Britain

To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a web browser that supports HTML5 video As the night draws in and Autumn gives way to winter, it’s time to indulge in this ‘Normal Island’s’ most time-honoured festive tradition: losing our minds over Christmas adverts we don’t like. This year, keen commercial critics aren’t upset by usual culture war battlegrounds like gender neutral pronouns or the existence of Black families. No, in 2026 the nation’s meltiest snowflakes are upset about children behaving like children. Specifically, they’re criticising the new John Lewis advert for featuring children that appear initially unpleasant to their grandma, played by Kristin Scott Thomas, who then ultimately wins their affection by getting them the perfect Christmas gift from, you guessed it, John Lewis. As John Lewis adverts go, it’s a pretty mid-level effort – not notably bad, but a little phoned in compared to previous years. Or at least, that’s what I thought, but it turns out I’m a rational-minded person who doesn’t see shops trying to sell you stuff at Christmas as an existential threat to my physical and spiritual well-being. This is what you’re complaining about? (Picture: Richie Hopson) For the usual suspects, however, it’s an exciting new front in the never-ending culture war, and all your favourite soldiers of anti-wokery are doing their part. There’s brave Private Piers Morgan lobbing whiny grenades from his X account; concrete expert Major Mike Graham is manning the barricades, while bold Colonel Edwina Currie has taken a break from doing nothing of worth to complain about an advert. Broader criticisms have ranged from those who say promoting rampant commercialism during a cost-of-living crisis is out of touch to those who think badly behaved children don’t deserve Christmas presents Hell, even some more liberal media outlets got in on the action, with one labelling the advert ‘tone deaf’ commercialism. Won’t somebody think of the children? (Picture: John Lewis) It’s come to something when an advert is criticised for trying to sell you stuff. There’s also a far nastier and more serious side to this ‘controversy’ as well; some online are using the ad as a racist dog whistle, pointing out that Scott-Thomas’ grandchildren are played by children of mixed heritage, which has upset them for reasons I cannot fathom. It doesn’t matter what side of the divide you’re on; our brave boys and gals on the front lines of the culture war are doing everything to bring down the scourge of quite nice Christmas adverts around Christmas time. Honestly, I don’t want to have to write about this. There are I’m a Celebrity stories to be done, and we think they’re going to name the new Bond soon. Oh, Paul Whitehouse plays the dog… I forgot that bit(Picture: John Lewis) I’d much rather be writing about Wayne Rooney potentially eating testicles or how Callum Turner hasn’t got the sauce to be 007. The thing that boils my p**s about this furore, though, and the reason I felt compelled to write, isn’t that people who paid for blue ticks on X and columns in national papers think an advert is evidence of moral decline (it’s not). It’s that we’re having this conversation again. Seriously, it’s like Britain is a nation of pub bores who love repeating the same story over and over again. Everything is woke and rubbish; it was better in whichever decade the complainant happened to have more hair and the ability to bend down without getting stuck. The ‘naughty children’ that have upset everyone (Picture: Richie Hopson) I think what irritates me most is how the front lines of the culture war have blurred so much in recent years. Having shops within walking distance of your house is woke now. Loft insulation is a liberal conspiracy. Bum fluff is a socialist ploy to bring down world banking. Liking blockbusters is bourgeois. It goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on until you scream, ‘Stop typing “and on”.’ Seriously, I’ve done marathons that are less exhausting than going online these days. Well, I haven’t, but I think I’d rather run 26 miles than wade into another culture war – and that says a lot. How dare you make a Christmas advert about selling stuff… (Picture: Richie Hopson) I am well aware of the hypocrisy of me writing about it; Captain Tom Percival going over the top. But it does feel like it’s getting worse – that we live through a mendacious arms race of outrage and vitriol. Even the Celebrity Traitors, which united the nation just 12 months ago, have been pulled into this nonsense because the winners chose to give their winnings to a charity that the outrage merchants didn’t like. Hell, that ‘controversy’ was so bad it even got professional fence-sitters Richard Osman to come down on a side. ‘I’m done with it,’ he told co-host Marina Hyde on The Rest is Entertainment. ‘It’s genuinely so pathetic. 15million people watched it. Let’s say 1,000 people are being t***s about it. That’s like being in a Championship football game, 15,000 people watching, 14,999 cheering, and just one idiot who’s not happy.’ Even Traitors got dragged into this nonsense (Picture: Paul Chappells/ Studio Lambert/BBC/Press Association) And much as I hate to agree with one of my celebrity nemeses (Sorry, Richard, I know this is news to you, but I must speak my truth), he’s right. I wish I could pinpoint the exact moment we become a nation of killjoys whose first inclination when we see something we don’t like is to immediately whinge about it. Honestly, I don’t know. But I’m tired of it. I’m tired of everything being a culture war, every TV show being a political statement and every minor disagreement being treated like the next bloody Battle of Britain. It’s nearly Christmas. It’s time to indulge in the capitalist spirit. Buy some presents. Eat too much. Watch some television. Argue with your family about politics. But just do it offline. Deals of the Day QVC shoppers can save £159 on Elemis' biggest beauty gift set of the year This Hoover vacuum is a game-changer for pet owners and muddy homes The wellbeing brand behind everyone's favourite candles has launched its biggest sale yet See London's Christmas lights from an open-top double-decker bus this winter My skin always suffers when the heating goes on but this serum changed that And if you can’t manage that without going online to tell everyone how rubbish everything is, make sure I’ve already started my marathon training first. Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk. Share your views in the comments below. Arrow MORE: Wayne Rooney has no chance of winning I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! 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