The five best British sitcoms of all time, according to Joe Wilkinson

Comedian Joe Wilkinson grew up obsessed with sitcoms and has even written a couple of them himself – Rovers, The Cockfields – so he knows a thing or two about British situation comedies. “Embarrassingly,” he says, “I regularly spout lines from some of my favourite sitcoms in my everyday life, which must be unbearable to be around.” Here he selects his five favourites of all time, and their most memorable lines. Porridge (1974-77) Ronnie Barker as Norman Stanley Fletcher and Richard Beckinsale as Lennie Godber (Photo: BBC) I used to watch this every week with my whole family. Ronnie Barker was my hero and Richard Beckinsale was taken too soon. I just wanted to hang out in a prison with them. I think that if, as a young person, you want to go to prison off the back of a sitcom, that’s pretty amazing. I got to meet the writers, Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais, for Joe and David’s Magical Sitcom Tour and I was like a rabbit in the headlights. My favourite bit is when Fletch (Barker) berates “’Orrible” Ives (Ken Jones) and calls him a “nerk” or a “scrote”. I love to do the same to my mum as I thank her for the delicious meal she’s just made for us all that evening. Luckily she’s also a fan of the show. Streaming on BBC iPlayer Only Fools and Horses (1981-2003) Buster Merryfield as Uncle Albert, David Jason as Del Boy and Nicholas Lyndhurst as Rodney (Photo: BBC) I cannot get my head around the fact that one person, John Sullivan, wrote all of those episodes. Sixty-four of them. The stories are brilliant, the ideas are brilliant. The episodes are just so, so clever. And it’s the most obvious thing to say, but what a bunch of characters. My favourite line is, ‘Play it cool, Trigger, play it cool.’ These are the instructions Del Boy (David Jason) gives Trigger (Roger Lloyd Pack) as they eye up a couple of attractive young ladies before Del unceremoniously falls through the bar. I love repeating this to myself as I am waiting to enter a meeting – or any gathering really. Streaming on ITVX Premium Father Ted (1995-98) Ardal O’Hanlon as Father Dougal and Dermot Morgan as Father Ted (Photo: Channel 4) Brilliance from Arthur Mathews and Graeme Linehan. I had the pleasure of meeting Arthur a while back. For sheer mad ideas that you can kind of relate to in some weird way, nothing touches it. I think Father Ted is just so bonkers and brilliant that I have to put it in the top five. “The best line? ‘Feck off!’ This is what the lunatic Father Jack (Frank Kelly) mainly hollers at Father Ted (Dermot Morgan). Thanks to him I have an acceptable way to swear in front of youngsters. Streaming on Channel 4 The Royle Family (1998-2012) Jessica Hynes as Cheryl and Caroline Aherne as Denise (Photo: BBC) I have to throw in Caroline Aherne and Craig Cash’s The Royle Family. I’d never seen anything like it. Just why am I laughing so much at, what….? Nothing! And then I had the honour of working with Craig and Sue Johnston, who played Barbara, so that was a dream come true. “My favourite moment is when Nana (Liz Smith) hears that Antony’s (Ralf Little) girlfriend is a vegetarian. She enquires, ‘Could she have wafer-thin ham?’ I’ll mutter this to myself if vegetarianism is mentioned by a female friend. Streaming on BBC iPlayer Early Doors (2003-04) Craig Cash as Joe and Phil Mealey as Duffy (Photo: Matt Squire/BBC) I just found it so funny. I don’t know how a sitcom could be so funny when it’s just people sitting around talking shit and having a pint, but Early Doors (created by Craig Cash and Phil Mealey) is something that doesn’t get talked about enough. It’s really, really funny. “My favourite moment is when Eddie (Mark Benton) and his wife Joan (Lorraine Cheshire), are describing in a painful amount of detail the full English breakfast they had just eaten. At the end, Eddie adds with a flourish: ‘All on a big oval plate’.’ Since then, if anyone ever describes a lovely meal they’ve just had, I have to add that to their description. Streaming on BBC iPlayer ‘Joe and David’s Magical Sitcom Tour‘ starts tonight at 9pm on U&Gold