Ted Lasso Is on Life Support

4 min readI know I’ve been harsh on Ted Lasso these past two weeks. But that’s only because it deserves it. The Apple TV hit has spent its fourth season thus far relishing its worst habits from seasons 2 and 3 to the point that I’m convinced the show’s writers are intentionally trying to craft a parody of their own work. “Richmond’s Got Talent,” the third episode of season 4, isn’t making a compelling argument to the contrary.In “Richmond’s Got Talent,” the now solidified coaching trio of Ted, Beard (Brendan Hunt), and Alice (Tanya Reynolds) face their first major hurdle: the absence of a proper striker. There are other pressing matters, of course. The Richmond community is still disengaged, even outright livid about the newly established Lady Greyhounds. Meanwhile, Juno Temple’s Keeley Jones gets relegated to the C plot as she races against time to secure kits before the women’s first match. (She also shoulders a rather embarrassing press conference, but her story is ultimately resolved with the help of crafty preteens led by Roy’s now older niece.) While all this is happening, Hannah Waddingham’s Rebecca struggles to be present for her new man Matthijs (Matteo van der Grijn), who spends the episode demonstrating the patience of a saint.But the striker problem is what Ted Lasso is ultimately really concerned with. The Lady Greyhounds aren’t yet a full-fledged team—after all, a team can’t really score goals without someone to kick the ball into the net. So what’s a team to do? Tryouts! In case you didn’t know where this was going based on its handful of Susan Boyle references. (By the way, how does Ted Lasso not know about Susan Boyle? Her story of underdog triumph was not only everywhere in the U.S. but would have drawn him specifically like bugs to honey.)AppleMeet Lizzie. Look familiar? She’s played by Faye Marsay, who’s also been in Game of Thrones and Andor.So that’s the skinny (Ted’s exact words) of “Richmond’s Got Talent.” There are two open spots, and they’re up for grabs for anyone quite literally off the street to take them. What plucky upstarts are chosen? One of them is a single mother, Elizabeth, or “Lizzie” (Faye Marsay, whom you might recognize as the Waif in Game of Thrones), whose skills as a mother unexpectedly translate to a team setting and whose adorable boy is going to steal the show quite a lot this year. The other is Gemma (Abbie Hern), a legitimate center-forward who has all but left sport behind thanks to some existing bad blood with Coach Alice from their previous life.There is also Shannon, played by Shannon Hayes. You’ll recognize her as the local Richmond girl from all the way back in season 1 who bumps into Ted in the neighborhood. Now that Richmond has a women’s team, it only makes sense she’d show up to try for a spot. Unfortunately, her enthusiasm doesn’t match her actual skills on the pitch, and her worse-than-average performance puts her on the short list to be cut loose. But Ted, being the softy he is, invites her onto the squad. (Which, in case you’re confused, is why they court Gemma in an all-or-nothing plea to get her to quit law school and join the team despite her friction with Alice.)So have you felt that this review has been a little, I dunno, bland? Sauceless? Vanilla? Yeah, sure, maybe that’s my fault. But I will pass the blame back to the show, which should change its title from Ted Lasso to Everything Just Works Out in the End, Doesn’t It? Because it’s hard to have a reaction to, or even a proper assessment of, a show that feels as though it’s spinning its wheels on the highway to Hunky Dory Town. There are artifices of conflict, but there’s nothing actually driving things ahead.Yet again we have a needless episode of Ted Lasso in which cartoon characters exchange empty punchlines and overelaborate on not-so-clever wordplay. Sure, there are now even more storylines that will be wrapped up by the end of the season. Like Alice and Gemma’s mutual tensions, the fact that Shannon has no real place on the team, and Richmond’s underestimating the appeal and championship material of its own women’s team. But even if the hope kills them, as this show has done in the past before, does it actually feel like there’s anything on the line? Does anything actually feel weighted with gravity and stakes and things we could see lost, or are we just floating from joke to unintelligible zinger? (I just about lost it when Ted dropped that line about cows on laptops. Really now, what?)I don’t want to be a hater. Ted Lasso was very special to me in 2020 and 2021. I don’t want to root against this show and its buoyant spirit; heaven knows I could use some of that optimism right about now. And hell, I’ll give you this: Maybe it’s fine for a show to just be Good Feelings™ for a bit. Maybe people need 45 minutes of smooth levity to put up with whatever hell is outside the window. But for my money, it will be like watching a ball get kicked around. I’d rather see someone try to actually score.