Sonia O’Sullivan: On a panel with Roy Keane and Jimmy Barry-Murphy you don’t expect to discuss losing

When you’re part of a sporting panel with the likes of Roy Keane and Jimmy Barry-Murphy, down on our own home patch in Cork, you don’t expect the conversation to turn towards losing. But maybe this is what’s helped shape all sporting careers, especially in terms of how you react to it.It was one of the things that came to light last Thursday evening, at the Rochestown Park Hotel, during a celebration of 50 years of the Irish Guide Dogs. This has been a charity close to Roy’s heart for a long time, and some of those in attendance have been enjoying independent living for many years now thanks in part to the dogs that are bred, raised and trained out of the Irish Guide Dogs centre in Bishopstown.We’d all crossed paths down through the years, although this was the first time sharing a stage. Also joining us was Cork camogie captain Amy O’Connor, who had in hand the O’Duffy Cup for winning the All Ireland, having lost the final the year before.I’ve been linked with the Irish Guide Dogs as an ambassador since the late 1990s, after we collaborated on a victory run from Cork City Hall to Cobh, when I returned home with two gold medals from the 1998 World Cross Country Championships.READ MOREFor me, growing up in Cobh in the 1970s, Jimmy Barry-Murphy was a name synonymous with winning. If anything, it felt like we only ever knew success in Cork hurling and football at a time when it wasn’t unusual for players to play both codes, with neither one affecting the other.It wasn’t until 1998 that I met Jimmy in real life. We were both at Croke Park for the All-Ireland football final, Jimmy being celebrated with the 1973 Cork football team, who had won the All-Ireland that year, and I was honoured by running a lap of Croke Park.Roy also grew up in that era of winning Cork teams. My first All-Ireland medal was the bronze won with the Cork cross-country team around a muddy field somewhere up in Monaghan. It didn’t matter that I’d finished way down the field, and lost my shoe, this was a taste of winning anything in the red shirt of Cork.In 1991 when I came back to Cobh after winning a gold and silver medal at the World University Games, I first met Roy on the sidelines of St Colman’s Park, the Cobh Ramblers ground where he’d played before heading off to Nottingham Forest, and he was yet to embark on his leading role with Manchester United.Jimmy Barry-Murphy, Amy O’Connor, Roy Keane and Sonia O'Sullivan at an event to celebrate 50 years of the Irish Guide Dogs At that time, we were both back visiting and being celebrated where things first started. But still bright-eyed and youthful, we’d really no idea what lay ahead. Reflecting a bit on that period, one of the things Roy highlighted was that, in sport, we are all so focused on winning.The reality for most athletes and teams is they will lose more than they win. So maybe we should be focused on losing, managing that side of the narrative. Because it’s only after you learn how to properly deal with losing that you can move on to the next challenge.[ Irish Guide Dogs at 50: ‘He made the difference of being able to leave the house or not’Opens in new window ]You learn so much more from losses if you allow yourself to dig deep and acknowledge the problems. Ignore them and nothing will change. As athletes we can be so focused on winning, we just want to forget the losses and move forward, not realising there’s always a lesson to learn in every defeat.I think it’s mainly because Irish people still get so excited by the winning part, when that’s only a small percentage of sport. Sometimes when people win, it can also paper over a lot of cracks. Win three or four medals in athletics, for example, and it feels like all the problems go away. But some could still be there, beneath the surface, rarely seen by those watching from the sidelines.Roy is famous for referencing that old quote “fail to prepare, prepare to fail”, but in this case he meant something different. This is about being able to deal with losing, in terms of finding something positive to come out of it, or some proactive way of dealing with it. Rather than letting it drag you down.[ Athletics wishes it could scrub the women’s marathon world record – what can be done?Opens in new window ]Sometimes when people don’t win, it’s hard to see life beyond that. But it’s all part of the process. That’s not just for the athletes and teams, but the diehard supporters, especially when it comes to teams such as Manchester United. And, dare I say, Cork Gaelic games, with just one senior cup returning to Leeside this year.Jimmy also spoke about our tendency to be a little softer on people now. As coaches, and managers, maybe you’re not allowed to be as hard, when there are so many more things at play now. But to achieve any success, there still needs to be some element of desperation to it. So often that needs to come from within.Even though Roy and Jimmy played with a team, I think there’s a similarity there in that we were each independent in our own way, to be the best we could be. Maybe that’s more obvious in an individual sport than a team sport, but for them it was also about becoming leaders and expecting the best from the people around them.[ Denis Walsh: You can’t fight luck in sport, you just learn to control itOpens in new window ]Something else we talked about was the notion of our own children being in the sporting spotlight. It’s one thing I get asked a lot. That’s probably because people assume that I have a big impact on my daughter, Sophie, when it comes to her running, when I really don’t. I have a lot to do with her normal life but not her day-to-day training. But like any parent, you just want them to find something they enjoy doing and are happy in life.That’s one thing we all had in common, the ability to separate our own success in sport from the perceived expectation on our children. Particularly if they are forging their own path in a sporting career.We may also be out there in the public eye, sometimes using that to raise awareness and funds for charities such as the Irish Guide Dogs, although deep down we also crave that normal peaceful life, to just head out the door and walk the dog.