Should you give up your Tube seat for a child? The internet has big feelings

Tube etiquette is being fiercely debated (Picture: Getty Images) When travelling on the Tube, there are several basic etiquette rules we should all be following. Let passengers off before boarding, remove your backpack, move down into the carriage to make space, and offer your seat to someone who might need it more – such as an elderly, disabled, or pregnant passenger. But should you give up your seat for a child? This is the question that’s sent the internet into a tailspin, after a woman asked if she was in the wrong for refusing to let a child have her seat. Her question was read out on @girlthingpod, where the anonymous passenger explained that she’d been on her feet at work all day and was tired. ‘I was on the Central Line after work, and it was absolutely rammed. I’d been on my feet all day and finally got a seat and was about 20 minutes into my journey when a woman got on with a little girl, who was about six or seven,’ her story began. ‘The mum immediately looked at me and said: “Would you mind letting my daughter sit down?” ‘I politely said: “Sorry, I’ve been on my feet all day and I’ve still got quite a long way to go”.’ The parent was taken aback by the response, insisting the child should have the seat, but the woman stood her ground, claiming the little girl had ‘younger legs’ and therefore should be ok to stand. Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. ‘She then loudly said to her daughter that some people just don’t have manners, and the woman opposite me actually got up and gave the girl her seat, while giving me the dirtiest look. ‘My friend said I should have gotten up because she’s just a little girl, but I think if your child is perfectly capable of standing, why does a random woman automatically have to give up her seat?’ Latest London news The two podcast hosts were not impressed with this, saying the woman should have ‘stood up’ immediately as children’s legs are ‘tiny’ and they ‘get tired too’. ‘Sorry bestie, but you’re in the wrong,’ they proclaimed. ‘Get up now.’ However, viewers had big feelings about it, with many claiming the mum was the one behaving inappropriately. The woman didn’t want to give her seat up for the child (Picture: Getty Images/Westend61) ‘I am sorry, but I don’t see why she should have given her seat; having a child isn’t a disability. And after a long day standing, I completely understand that she didn’t want to,’ replied @__sandraj__. Similarly, @mrs_mimulici said: ‘Mum of a five-year-old girl here. Children that age CAN stand.’ And @samantha_hems agreed: ‘Elderly, disabled, and pregnant women, yes. Able-bodied children, no. I say this as a mum of two young children.’ ‘As someone with invisible disabilities, I would dread this scenario,’ admits @siantheyogi. ‘I shouldn’t have to share my medical history to say no. Sorry, but the woman shouldn’t ask.’ @rachaelmcguigan_ thought there was a bigger issue, adding: ‘The problem here is the mother intimidated the lady who was sat in a seat and singled her out. A packed Tube means multiple people sat on seats, so why not ask out loud, “Would anyone mind letting my child sit down?” ‘How did the mother know the lady didn’t have an invisible disability that she didn’t want a Tube full of people to know about?’ Others pointed out that in other countries, such as Japan and Australia, it’s the norm for children to give up seats for adults. ‘It’s an example of respect and learning patience and compassion,’ explains @alishabennettnaturopathy. ‘Life is hard, and that includes paying respect to elders who have worked all day.’ Some thought children under 4 deserved a seat (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto) A few people did agree with the mum, as @amelia__m_ shared: ‘If the Tube was rammed, sitting down would be safe for a child to avoid being squished or lost, so I’d probably stand up or even offer.’ While @baileyspuppydays felt the same way: ‘Depends how busy the Tube is! If it’s absolutely rammed like sardines it’s dangerous for a little child to be standing, as they could easily get hurt.’ However, most people felt it should be based on the child’s age, with many saying they’d happily give up a seat for a toddler or baby. ‘I’d stand up for a 3 to 4-year-old,’ commented @tiffany_foster_xo. And @lucy_deg replied: ‘I think if it’s very busy and the child is small (4 and under), then it can be unsafe for them to stand, so they should be offered a seat.’ @user2663987 wrote: ‘A person with a baby or toddler, yes. An able-bodied child who can walk, no.’ Karen Reekie added: ‘My kids have been commuting into London since they were babies. I would never ask an adult to give up a seat for them at 7+. A toddler maybe or a child that had health or disability issues, but otherwise nope.’ Should you give your seat up for a child? Depends on the child's ageCheck Sign up to The Getaway Expert, your exclusive seven-day guide to travelling with confidence from Metro's travel editor, Alice Murphy. In a bid to settle the debate, Metro looked to the authority of Debrett’s. The etiquette experts advise people to ‘respect priority seat signs’ on Tubes, and do suggest giving up seats for ‘small children’. Guidance on their website states: ‘If you see an older person, or someone who is pregnant, or a mother with a small child in tow, it is a considerate gesture to offer them your seat.’ They continue to say that if you’re offered a seat, you should ‘graciously’ accept it, even if you don’t feel you need it, as this polite acceptance will ‘encourage considerate behaviour’. ‘If you are only staying on the train for a couple of stops, say so and politely refuse.’ On the TfL site, it states that priority seats are for anyone ‘who needs them’, including those who are elderly, pregnant, have limited mobility, disabilities, and non-visible conditions. The TfL website doesn’t say anything specific about giving up seats for children, but the same priority rules above would apply for a child who needs a seat, just as they would for an adult. 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