Should parents buy teachers gifts? When is it bribery?

Should parents buy teachers gifts? Anecdotal survey reveals what parents spend, pressure to contribute, and when gifts could become bribery. It’s that time of year again, and class WhatsApp groups are alive with teachers’ gift ideas, cash collections and chatter over value. But whether it’s a box of chocolates, flowers, or a R1 000 voucher for a mall, when does thanking your child’s teacher become an attempt to buy favour? Should parents spend hundreds of rands on someone already paid to do their job, or is it just a token of appreciation? As one mom put it to The Citizen: “You tip car guards, waiters and some people even gift their hairdressers. Teachers help shape our children, spend a lot of time with them and, in effect, help us raise our kids. Why can we not say thank you?” A small survey of a sample of parents, using community WhatsApp groups, served up some interesting food for thought about digging into parents’ cash-strapped pockets to gift teachers. Most moms and dads supported the idea, as long as everyone played fair. Thanking a teacher is not a bribe; it is appreciation, say some. Picture: Hein Kaiser Of the parents who answered, 77% supported the gesture, while 15% preferred a card or small token. Only 6% opposed gifting altogether. Yet the spending figures revealed a contradiction. None of the respondents who answered the question considered more than R500 appropriate, although 21% of those who disclosed their spending exceeded that amount last year. Another 32% spent between R250 and R500. Many parents spend more than R 500 Almost a third, 33%, admitted feeling pressured by other parents or class WhatsApp groups to contribute towards gifts. Another 55% believed expensive presents sometimes involved motives beyond appreciation, including competition between parents or hopes of preferential treatment for their kids. A parent questioned whether expensive presents could influence teachers. “It only leads to bribery and favouritism. We pay really high school fees as well,” the parent said. Another complained that teachers displayed expensive gifts on social media, adding that “teachers can make or break your child”. Others defended the practice. “Teaching isn’t an easy ‘half-day job’; it takes a lot out of a person,” one respondent said. Meanwhile, 45% of surveyed parents felt uncomfortable when others bought expensive gifts they could not afford. Only 29% supported schools imposing gift limits, while 43% opposed restrictions. One parent suggested schools maintain gift registers to ensure transparency. Legal consultant and arbitration practitioner Sean Muskat said the intention behind a gift determined whether it crossed an ethical boundary. “There is no clear right or wrong here, but if you are giving someone a gift with the intention of gaining something for yourself or your child, that would be wrong,” he said. “However, there is nothing wrong with simply thanking your child’s teacher at the end of the year with a gift. Teachers spend an enormous amount of time with our children and help shape their futures.” Muskat added that gifting a teacher because a child needed to pass their grade was an entirely different matter. “It all comes down to intent,” he said. Intent of gifting a major consideration DA provincial spokesperson on education Mike Waters said gifting should remain a personal choice, irrespective of the amount involved. “If parents can afford to buy a teacher something special to thank them for their work throughout the year, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But nobody should ever feel obliged to contribute money they cannot afford,” he said. Waters recalled giving teachers Christmas cards when he was younger. “A simple card can mean just as much as an expensive present. Giving should never be expected, but neither should it be discouraged. It must remain a personal choice,” he added. A principal at an upmarket private school told The Citizen that neither expensive gifts nor substantial donations should influence academic outcomes. “You cannot buy your child into success. You are not doing your child any favours. Instead, you are placing them at a disadvantage later in life,” she said. “Children should be recognised and assessed on their own merit.” The principal said her school preferred collective gifts because they offered greater transparency.