Schools refer parents to police and social services for questioning their children's demands to change sex and refusing to buy puberty blockers

Terrified parents have revealed they were referred to the police and social services after questioning their children’s demands to change sex.The families say they were flagged to the authorities by teachers and medical staff for ‘offences’ such as refusing to buy puberty blocker drugs, restricting internet access and failing to use the new names chosen by their children.In one case, parents claim they were interviewed by social services after refusing to buy chest binders, which inhibit the natural growth of breasts, while in another a father was arrested following arguments with his vulnerable daughter.The families, who insist on strict anonymity for fear of upsetting their children, are supported by The Bayswater Group for the parents of trans teenagers.Representing hundreds of families around the country, the group estimates more than 10 per cent of its members have been referred to social services, with a third of those referrals made by schools.Bayswater says that it knows of at least 17 cases where social services – and in some cases the police – have interviewed families following complaints, but believes the true number is significantly greater. And it says these figures could grow further thanks to Labour-backed legislation aimed at stamping out attempts to change someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity. Those found guilty under the draft Conversion Practices Bill could be jailed for five years.The planned new laws have provoked criticism from campaigners and parliamentarians amid concerns that parents and even therapists could be in the firing line if they are deemed to be obstructing a child’s wish to switch sex.One mother told The Mail on Sunday that a school flagged their 14-year-old daughter to social services because her family continued to use the child’s birth name at home. The referral went no further. Parents have said they were referred to the police and social services after questioning their children’s demands to change sex (picture posed by model)Another mother told the MoS that social services came to the family home after trying to prevent her teenage daughter having irreversible surgery.‘I challenged the idea of a radical double mastectomy being the accepted procedure for confused adolescent girls with healthy breasts,’ she said. ‘My raising reasonable concerns as a parent was framed as “aggressive”.’‘Soon afterwards, a social worker came to our home, and I tried to explain why I had challenged the approach being taken with my daughter. The case was closed with no further action.‘I was relieved, but the referral was deeply upsetting. I felt as though I had been accused of putting my daughter at risk when I believed I was trying to protect her.‘The whole accusation was false, disingenuous and felt designed to intimidate me into compliance.’ A third family said they had been referred to social services and the police after refusing their daughter’s wish to buy puberty blocker drugs. Accused of emotional abuse, the parents feared the child would be taken into care.This paper has also spoken to the father of a trans son who was accused of homophobia and bullying by his local council when he attempted to limit his son’s access to the internet, even though he says the teenager had been attempting to meet older men online.Although the MoS has spoken to a number of families affected, their request for anonymity means there is no way of independently verifying their stories, but the Bayswater Group is backed by critics of the new legislation within the Conservative Party. Supporters of the draft Bill claim it would only affect cases involving genuine abuse, but many fear that the definition of ‘abuse’ is open to wide interpretation.Critics are also concerned that the new law would allow councils to obtain Conversion Practice Protection Orders to protect those deemed at risk, potentially allowing social services departments to act unilaterally. Some have likened the powers to ‘sex-change ASBOs’, a reference to the Anti-Social Behaviour Orders introduced in 1999 to help councils clamp down on teenage law-breaking.Tory peer Baroness Cash told The Mail on Sunday that the Bill is dangerous and unworkable. ‘This is the long arm of the law reaching into family life, into private conversations between parents and children, and even between children and therapists,’ she said. A charity has said the new laws would be ‘an attack on ethical, loving parenting’ and could prevent children receiving the therapy they need (picture posed by models)‘Last year’s landmark Cass Report into gender identity services for children and young people made it clear that most children who say they are transgender find their issues are eventually resolved.‘But it is crucial that they have exploratory therapy. This ill-judged draft legislation puts even the therapists in danger. We know from the Bayswater Group that parents already face serious accusations if they disagree with their children or their children’s advisers. Now, we are asking therapists to risk their careers should a child take exception to what they have to say. It is completely unworkable.’The Sex Matters charity – which campaigns for those who believe there are only two genders and that sex cannot be changed – says the new laws would be ‘an attack on ethical, loving parenting’ and could prevent children receiving the therapy they need.They could also cause chaos in schools with teachers feeling unable to ban trans girls (born as boys) from female toilets for fear of legal sanction.A Sex Matters report published last week concluded that the draft Bill would silence therapists, harm children, divide families and could ‘legislate some parents out of their children’s lives’.‘This Bill would criminalise ordinary and therapeutic conversations in the name of preventing conversion,’ says the author, social scientist Matilda Gosling. We feared our daughter would go into care because we refused puberty blocker plea Our daughter has never been a ‘girly’ girl. And during lockdown, she began to say she wanted to be a boy. She was spending a lot of time playing video games with other teenagers she’d met online. They all seemed to use he/they pronouns, and she was definitely influenced by them.When she returned to school, staff asked us if they could use a male name for her. We agreed because we knew so little about it. Soon afterwards, alarm bells rang. The school arranged a GP appointment for her without telling us beforehand. My daughter then said I needed to agree to a referral to a gender clinic. I was alarmed by how quickly things were moving.We did not use the new name at home, and when I asked the school to change its records back, it refused. This led to lots of arguments at home. We told our daughter that we did not support puberty blockers or any other medical intervention. She didn’t want to hear that.One time, police came to our home following an argument with our daughter and arrested my husband. It felt as though every institution was against us. After I complained to the school, we were referred to social services. I was told the concern was emotional abuse. I feared she might be taken into care, but eventually social services closed the case.Our daughter still uses a male name socially, but she does not intend to make medical decisions about transition until she is much older. We hope this is a good sign and that, at some point, she will see that even if you’re not stereotypically ‘girly’ you can still be a woman.