Satire | Coping with deletion

India’s highest ever polling percentage of 67.4% in the 2019 Lok Sabha election means 29.73 crore names on the electoral roll did not show up at the polling booth. | Photo Credit: Getty Images It was exactly six weeks ago that I received the following notice.“It is proposed to delete your name from the electoral roll of [Name/Number] Assembly Constituency on the ground that you are reported to have ceased to be ordinarily resident at the address recorded in the electoral roll, on account of you being deceased. Also, you seem a patriotic Indian in the photo on your voter ID but resemble an anti-social element in your Aadhaar photo — a classical form of logical discrepancy. A dead man with a logical discrepancy has no place on the electoral roll.Therefore, in exercise of the powers conferred on the Electoral Registration Officer under the Repression of the People Act, 1951, you are hereby asked to show cause why your name should not be deleted from the electoral roll.Your reply should reach the undersigned by yesterday.If you desire to be heard, you may appear before the undersigned, if you can, along with such evidence as you wish to produce in support of your case.”Electoral Registration Officer [Assembly Constituency]As I read it, my blood pressure rose. My heart rate spiked. I told myself not to panic. I took a deep breath, and did what I always do in such situations. I went to see my spiritual guru, Sri Sri Paramaguru Triple Sri. I told him I was no longer a citizen of India, the only country till date to readily accept me as a citizen. “Now even India has rejected me,” I said. “It is hurting my self-esteem.”The Guru has an answerGuruji listened patiently. Then he said, “Thambi, it is not important what happens to you. But it is important how you respond to what happens to you.”“But guruji, why do logical discrepancies happen to good people?”“Nothing is permanent,” he said. “One day, sooner or later, each one of us will become a logical discrepancy in the scheme of the Supreme Lord and Creator. When you die, your name will anyway be deleted from the voter roll. Consider this deletion as an advance intimation of the inevitable. Instead of fighting it, accept it as a gift. You will find it liberating. Now go, and don’t come back until you’ve done 45 minutes of Pradarshan Kriya meditation for 45 days.I did exactly as he told me. Within days, I could sense fresh shoots of understanding sprouting in my anterior cingulate cortex. The least I can do is to share my newfound wisdom.Joys of disenfranchisementIf you pause to think about it, you’ll realise there are many good things about no longer being a citizen. Indeed, the happiest Indians are not the ones who are citizens of India. They are typically those that live as migrants, with no political rights, which mentally frees them up to focus their energies on work and family. They are liberated from distractions such as demanding accountability from the government of India, a burden that afflicts only voting citizens. In fact, our Supreme Leader’s most passionate supporters — people who fill up massive stadiums in different parts of the world, women who weep tears of traumatic joy — are absent from our electoral rolls. But you never hear them complain.All this protesting and marching to Jantar Mantar just because your name got deleted — isn’t it a bit excessive? Asking for Gyanu’s resignation — isn’t that an overreaction? It’s not like he had anything personal against any particular voter. He probably doesn’t even know you exist (or used to). Then why make it personal by demanding his personal resignation?The math of not votingIncidentally, in our last general election, in 2024, the turnout was 66.10%. Out of 97.98 crore registered voters, only 64.64 crore voted. That means 33.33 crore Indians whose names were still on the rolls did not vote. If I was Gyanu, I would argue, “It’s like their names weren’t on the rolls at all. 33.33 crore registered voters, but no votes against their names. Compare that figure with the measly 13.3 crore names that I’ve deleted — it’s nothing.”India had its highest ever polling percentage of 67.4% in the 2019 Lok Sabha election. It has never been higher. You know what that means? It means 29.73 crore nameson the electoral roll did not show up at the polling booth. If you can persuade yourself that the ongoing SIR’s 13.3 crore deletions are from this 29.73 crore electors whose votes would anyway not be counted, you’ll feel much better. You won’t feel like bad-mouthing Gyanu,harassing Delhi Police, or, God forbid, do deeply ‘dimagi naxal’ things like trying to protest at designated protest sites.The author of this satire is Social Affairs Editor, The Hindu. Published - October 09, 2026 01:08 am IST