SARAH VINE: I don't fear the digital doomsday one bit. In fact, it'll be pure bliss

Friday, November 13, 2026 was supposed to be Doomsday – or at least that was according to Austrian-American physicist Heinz von Foerster, who in 1960 posited that by now the world would be so overpopulated we would all be squeezed to death.With the possible exception of London’s Jubilee line between Westminster and Waterloo at rush hour, no such drastic disaster has befallen humanity.But we did have a taste of a potential apocalypse when, around teatime on Thursday, Microsoft began experiencing technical problems. By Friday morning, its entire network was down.Microsoft Outlook was frozen, shared documents couldn’t be accessed, online meetings were missed, logins were frozen.For a brief, glorious 24-hour period, individuals, businesses and organisations large and small found themselves transported back to an analogue age.I say glorious because I, for one, loved every second of it. Not just because it didn’t really affect me (I’ve always hated Microsoft and use Apple and iCloud instead) – but mostly because it was a reminder of a long-lost, less digitally manacled era.Suddenly, people had to actually pick up the phone and speak to each other. The daily deluge of electronic traffic slowed to a trickle. Bliss. It reminded me a bit of Christmas in that respect, the only time of the year when the clackety clack of keyboards gives way to something much more human.It was also a fascinating – if accidental – anthropological experiment. At first, incredulity. Then panic, then chaos. Then acceptance. 'We did have a taste of a potential apocalypse when, around teatime on Thursday, Microsoft began experiencing technical problems. By Friday morning, its entire network was down,' writes Sarah VineSome even began to embrace the inertia. It was a sunny day: by lunchtime most people I knew had given up and gone to the pub. I hesitate to say it, but people actually seemed to be enjoying themselves.For me, it felt like freedom, a mini-break from the tyranny of tech. I know, I know, it’s irresponsible of me to say: what about all those people who missed important meetings and appointments?Well, I’m very sorry for their inconvenience, but this is what happens if you allow technology to get the upper-hand. What happened last week is as nothing to the chaos that would ensue if the entire grid stopped working.So many of the systems that rule our everyday lives are run by organisations such as Microsoft. And yes, they make things faster and more efficient – but they also make us their slaves.It’s all fun and games when things work as they should but when they don’t, it’s a disaster. And the more reliant we become, the bigger the risk.And this is just the start. Wait until AI really takes hold. Politicians and CEOs are salivating at the prospect of replacing expensive humans, with their inconvenient habits of occasionally needing the loo, with artificial brains.But what’s going to happen if the system goes down, as it did on Thursday? Who’s going to drive the driverless trains? How will the NHS access our medical records? How will you get your plane ticket, or order your takeaway?All these things and more are such fixtures in our lives now we barely give them a second thought. But, as millions discovered on Friday, this new reality is fragile.Personally, I’m not worried. I belong to that last generation who grew up without technology. I know exactly what a world without microchips looks like – and it’s completely fine. In fact, it’s more than fine. It’s infinitely preferable.I’m one of the ones who can use an actual map. I know how to use a pen. I can do sums in my head. I can spell (well, for the most part). I still keep a paper diary. I store all my important documents in a physical file. I can parallel park without assistance from a computer (or man, for that matter).These skills are not just useful, they are essential. And yet a recent study showed that Gen Z are so reliant on digital navigation tools they are weakening the spatial part of their brain. Countless studies show that the more we rely on digital systems, the less capable we become ourselves.This stuff is literally turning our brains to mush.Digital revolution? Not me. I’m joining the analogue resistance. Jensen Huang with alleged Chinese spy Alice Huang at a Computex conference in Taiwan in 2024And this year’s ‘There’s No Fool Like An Old Fool’ award goes to former Nvidia boss Jensen Huang, whose affair with an alleged Chinese spy has not only cost him his reputation but knocked around £1trillion off the share price.As my dear old dad used to say: ‘That’s a very expensive date.’ As a woman who claims to stand up for other women, why has Angela Rayner signed off on this all-male asylum-seeker centre in Piddington? Does women’s safety only matter if they vote Labour? Cameron tale strikes a sad chordDavid Cameron's heartbreaking confession that his mother Mary, who had Alzheimer’s, begged his sister to help her end her life reminded me of my own father’s battle with this horrible disease. Towards the end, in rare moments of lucidity, he wanted so much to be spared the horror of his own demise – and yet none of us could help him. Just another aspect of this cruel disease that affects so many families – and why the Mail has teamed up with Alzheimer’s Society to raise money for research. Do please donate if you can at justgiving.com/campaign/mailforceEmma’s epic fall Emma Watson suffered a nasty fall on Friday night while leaving the GQ Men of the Year Party at the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles. She's pictured last month at Paris Fashion WeekPoor Emma Watson came a cropper in her black and white-striped Jacquemus heels (rrp £750) last week, falling over outside a glamorous awards ceremony in LA.Happens to the best of us. I was walking through my local branch of Marks & Spencer the other day when, distracted by an especially enticing display of Christmas biscuits, I slipped in my H&M ankle boots (£39.99). At least, unlike Watson, I was able to scuttle away in the direction of the Food Hall – instead of being papped by a thousand flash bulbs. Let’s hope she’s unscathed.Why does Andy Burnham have such little ambition for Britain that he wants to take us back into the EU? Having gone through all the pain and suffering of Brexit, surely the most obvious thing to do is strive to make it work, rather than running to hide under the skirts of Brussels.Then again, this is a man whose biggest political achievement to date was getting the bus services to run on time in Manchester. Perhaps we should not expect so much of him. I'm astonished at the number of women Russell Brand seems to have slept with. I wouldn’t have got into a lift with that creep, let alone a bed.Thunberg's true colours In a new documentary, 23-year-old Swedish activist Greta Thunberg laughed at protesters still participating in Fridays For Future – the climate movement she started aged 15 before turning her attention towards PalestineGreta Thunberg laughing mockingly at the suggestion that people might still be protesting against climate change is one of the more distasteful reminders of why politicians and policymakers need to stop pandering to her. She is – and always was – a nasty bully.