Sad Nipple Syndrome is the ‘buzzkill’ condition affecting men and women in bed

The term isn’t medically recognised but a lot of people seem to be experiencing it (Picture: Getty Images) Not two months ago, nipple sucking was making headlines as searches for the sex act soared by 79%. Following the massive spike in interest, men dubbed it an ‘instant boner button’ while some women described it as the ‘best feeling in the world’. But nipple play isn’t the be-all and end-all; in fact, there’s a little-known condition that can make this sex act rather unpleasant. Sad Nipple Syndrome (SNS) affects both men and women and is an informal term used to describe a sudden wave of negative emotions triggered by touching or stimulating the nipples. ‘Rather than feeling pleasure or a physical sensation, someone might experience an unexpected feeling of sadness, anxiety, dread or even homesickness,’ Dr Nikki Ramskill, women’s health GP and founder of The Female Health Doctor clinic, tells Metro. ‘What’s particularly interesting is that these emotions can appear almost instantly and disappear just as quickly, sometimes within seconds or minutes, unlike a typical mood disorder.’ ‘It feels mournful’ Beth, 33, previously told Metro she has experienced this since she was a child, but never thought it was worth mentioning to anyone. ‘Homesick is exactly it,’ Beth told us. ‘And mournful. I feel like I’m a woman waiting for her husband to return from war, or like I’ve just realised I forgot to do something and the consequences are awful. Not everyone enjoys nipple stimulation, and some people struggle with it (Picture: Getty Images) ‘It’s usually just a flash of that feeling, so it’s not like it affects my life in any way – although I don’t like any kind of nipple touching during sex because it just ruins it instantly.’ Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. Meanwhile, Mel, 36, said she feels intense anxiety when her nipples are touched. ‘I essentially have immediate feelings of nerves,’ she explained. ‘Which is a real buzzkill for my poor boyfriend. ‘Luckily, for me, it is only when they’re being touched though, and once I say “alright, enough of that”, the feeling of impending doom disappears as quickly as it came on.’ ‘What makes this particularly unsettling is that the emotions can feel completely irrational,’ Dr Ramskill explains. ‘The person knows there’s no obvious reason to feel upset, but the sensation is very real. ‘Even something as simple as clothing rubbing against the nipples, showering or drying yourself with a towel may trigger the sensation.’ How it can impact your sex life Understandably, SNS could have a detrimental impact on your sex life. ‘For some people, this might lead to avoiding certain types of touch or becoming anxious about sexual activity altogether,’ the doctor says. ‘Particularly if nipple stimulation triggers intense sadness, anxiety or dread during intimacy.’ Sexual partners could also ‘misinterpret’ this reaction as rejection or feel they’ve done something wrong. The GP advises communicating openly with your partner and explaining how nipple stimulation makes you feel. ‘Establish boundaries around nipple stimulation and explore other forms of intimacy that feel comfortable and pleasurable,’ she says. ‘Sexual pleasure is incredibly individual, and there’s no requirement for nipple stimulation to be part of a satisfying sex life.’ Women say SNS feels like a sense of ‘impending doom’ (Picture: Getty Images) Men and women can think they’re the only one What makes Sad Nipple Syndrome tricky to identify is that it’s not recognised as a formal medical diagnosis, according to the GP. ‘There’s a lack of large-scale studies investigating its prevalence, underlying mechanisms or effective treatments,’ Dr Ramskill says. ‘There are some interesting similarities with dysphoric milk ejection reflex, known as D-MER, where breastfeeding mothers experience sudden negative emotions around milk release. ‘However, these are not necessarily the same phenomenon, and we cannot assume they share the same biological mechanism.’ And, of course, SNS has been reported by men, too, and it isn’t limited to people who are breastfeeding or sexually active, either. ‘One of the biggest challenges is that many people don’t realise their experience has a name, even an informal one,’ Dr Ramskill adds. ‘They may feel too embarrassed to mention it.’ What triggers it? Because of the lack of research into this condition, we don’t know what triggers this feeling. The GP says some people describe experiencing SNS symptoms from puberty, while others notice it in adulthood. ‘We don’t yet know whether hormonal changes during menstruation, pregnancy or menopause influence susceptibility,’ she says. ‘But experiencing SNS doesn’t automatically mean someone has a hormonal imbalance, a psychological condition or a history of trauma.’ It’s not just you ‘There’s still a huge amount of unnecessary embarrassment surrounding nipples,’ Dr Ramskill says. It’s okay to set boundaries with a sexual partner to avoid nipple stimulation (Picture: Getty Images/PhotoAlto) ‘Nipples are so often viewed through the lens of sexuality or breastfeeding that we forget they’re simply another part of the body with complex nerve connections and sensory responses.’ The GP says that for women, there’s an expectation that nipple stimulation should be pleasurable, especially during intimacy. ‘If their experience is the complete opposite, they might worry there’s something wrong with them or that their reaction will be misunderstood by a partner,’ she adds. 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