SABSing is the offline dating trend set to take over London — here’s how you do it

Where would you go if you fancied bumping into an ex or prospective crush? (Picture: Getty Images) At the University of Pennsylvania, there’s a term on campus that everyone is familiar with: SABS, short for ‘See And Be Seen’. First coined by the US college’s student magazine in 2024, editor-in-chief Natalia Castillo said that SABSing was ‘an art’. As many of us will attest to, university was 30% education, 70% yearning. Whether in the library, at the Student Union café, or in the smoking area of PRYZM, we can all relate to lingering in a particular spot in the hope of catching a glimpse of the person we’ve been dying to see. ‘You duck for cover when you see that ex you swore you never wanted to see again, but you eagerly try to make eye contact with your class crush,’ Natalia explained. Ever linger in the library hoping to see your lecture hall crush? (Picture: Getty Images) Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. But, as Natalia adds, to SABS isn’t just about being seen, it’s about offering yourself up to the possibility of a spontaneous interaction – a lost art in a world of dating apps, Insta DMs and Teams messages. We know what you’re thinking. Is this not just… going out? Well no, it’s going out, with a purpose. SABSing means you aren’t going to a particular restaurant or bar because you’ve seen it on TikTok. It’s a chance to pause, watch the world go by – and hope someone might be watching you. It’s the opportunity for a meet cute that is unplanned, while simultaneously being totally planned. And now, SABSing is spreading, and it’s only a matter of time before you spot a SABSer in the wild, coming to a London coffee shop near you… How to SABS successfully The best way to think about SABSing is that it’s similar to people watching. However, rather than being a passive observer, you’re open to the possibility of a surprise run-in or chance encounter – it’s all about manufacturing spontaneity. Latest London news Now, SABSing doesn’t have to eat up an entire afternoon or evening (if you don’t want it to). Put on an outfit you want to be seen in and do a location of your choice. The goal is to make an impression, without letting anyone in on the secret. If you’re a man, this might include performatively throwing a rugby ball in Victoria park or casually taking your Sylvia Plath novel to the pub. For the girlies, spend a deliciously long amount of time at Brockwell Lido or sip orange wine at Netil360. Where is a good place to SABS? These days, everyone has their preferred SABSing spots. For me, as a Cardiff University grad, I spent hundreds of afternoons at Hoffi Coffi and the Arts and Social Studies Library (ASSL) scanning the crowds for the fittie from my nuclear disarmament seminar. But SABSing isn’t just something that happens at uni. In a city like London, there are countless opportunities to SABS. Whether you’re flaunting a new outfit or keen to prove to a prospective crush just how good your music taste is, there are people lingering in corners all across the city with nowhere to go — but everything to see. Just ask the locals themselves. We asked Londoners where to SABS and they weren’t short of ideas. If Bethan Sandall, 25, wants to bump into a Hinge match there’s two places she immediately thinks of. ‘I’ve managed to spot a couple of flings in Jumbi and Prince of Peckham – they’re both really fun bars and the music always attracts the sexiest people.’ Sticking to South London, Ellie Parker says her SABS spots of choice all congregate in Clapham. ‘I’d say The Sun, Common Pizza, and The Prince of Wales are all good options,’ the 28-year-old shares. Georgie Pike, 30, tells Metro that Gordon’s Wine Bar is a prime SABS location if you’re hoping to lock eyes with an ex-situationship – conveniently central and a favourite haunt for finance bros and marketing execs looking for a first (or potentially last) date. ‘My mate also bumped into their ex at The Florence in Herne Hill,’ she adds. For Emma Jackson, 27, it’s the big M&S on Brixton high street – a performative weekly food shop? Oh and if you happen to be a queer woman, Cara Averill, 29, notes that SABSing can be quite easy, if you know where to look. ‘I used to always run into people I’d dated in London Fields park and along Broadway Market.’ In East London, a number of people have shared that Café 1001, a bar just off Brick Lane in Shoreditch, is prime SABSing real estate. Why do we love SABSing so much? Counselling psychologist, Madeleine Roantree, says it’s got a lot to do with our obsession with visibility. She explains: ‘We’re wired to belong, and social interactions historically happened because people occupied the same public spaces. Is our love of SABSing connected to the impact social media has had on society’s lack of spontaneity? (Picture: Getty Images) ‘Universities provide this environment, where you can ‘hang out’ in the quad or around the library. Visibility has a social function, as demonstrated by the “mere exposure effect”, where simply being exposed to someone increases their likability. It breeds familiarity, which is a precursor to forming a bond.’ So, in theory, we might think we’re simply lingering, but in reality we’re doing our very best to create ‘spontaneous’ moments and manufacture a sense of closeness that may not actually exist. This, of course, isn’t intended to discourage SABSing – I mean, we’re only human. Rather, it’s about understanding where this desire comes from. That being said, the next time you do find yourself spending an afternoon (or 12) perched beside that particular pedalo you once saw your crush on, just make sure you’re enjoying yourself too. Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk Arrow MORE: My honest review of London’s bougiest baths that keep going viral Arrow MORE: Man who killed boy, 15, as part of ‘pathetic gang rivalry’ set for early prison release Arrow MORE: London bus drivers are going on strike over ‘completely unacceptable’ heatwave conditions