Real or Onion?

Op-EdCan reality satirize itself?Sometimes it’s hard to tell reality from The Onion.Sometimes I wish the stories in The Onion were real.Be that as it may — and to prove my point — I offer you a list of six recent news headlines. See if you can tell which ones are real and which ones (if any) are from The Onion.Click on the links once you’ve made your choices to see if you got it right:Wyoming WomanTo Stand Trial For Telling Neighbor to ‘Get the F Off My Lawn’Competitorsdig deep in Hungarian grave-digging contestAw shucks:Dolly Parton corn mazes crop up in fields nationwideWealthy Influencer … Dies at 43 After P—- Enlargement Procedure Causes Fatal EmbolismWoman faces felony chargeafter investigation into alleged sexual activity with dogThe rise of Big Toothbrush: how did our mouths become such a lucrative market?If you got all of the above right, you’ve been paying way too much attention to the news.National security : More Onionesque reality: We now know that the purpose of the arch in Washington is to provide a perch for snipers and drones, and the purpose of the White House ballroom is to house the military because, I guess, there’s nowhere else our armed forces can protect VIP dancers.Clearly, those two outposts can’t protect the entire nation. It behooves all of us patriotic Americans to come up with suggestions for new and necessary fortifications.Let’s get the obvious ones out of the way first. The Kennedy Center needs to be protected from drag shows and the Reflecting Pool is a great spot for submarines.But other parts of the country need protection too. That’s where you come in — send your suggestions to your favorite legislator.To get you started, here are a couple of my ideas.The Gateway Arch in St. Louis is the perfect spot for monitoring enemy activity, both in the air and on the ground.Mount Rushmore can be filled with Marine special forces ready to bungee jump out of presidential nostrils at a moment’s notice.And the new Lucas Museum of Narrative Art in Los Angeles is the perfect cover for a secret strike force with advanced weaponry. Are those fancy missile launchers from Star Wars or from the Department of War?That last one may already exist.Be skeptical : I ran across an interesting piece of advice the other day: Don’t assume that something Google’s AI tells you is true.The source of this advice?Google.Or at least Google’s lawyers (who may not have consulted with Google’s marketing department).This is from a recent Illinois federal judge’s ruling: “Google argues that its standard disclaimer indicates that AI Overviews are merely ‘starting points’ using rapidly evolving technology and not statements of fact.”You may be wondering where this “standard disclaimer” may be found.Try Googling yourself and using “AI mode.” No disclaimer in sight. It’s possible that Google’s lawyers’ arguments are merely starting points and not statements of fact.Subscribe to our free newslettersOur weekly newsletter Closing Arguments offers the latest about ongoing trials, major litigation and rulings in courthouses around the U.S. and the world, while the monthly Under the Lights dishes the legal dirt from Hollywood, sports, Big Tech and the arts.Additional Reads