Real Men Respect the Ballroom

Mary Fama/Getty ImagesWhile masculinity is a construct that’s consistently reconsidered and reshaped, society can’t seem to shake the toxic idea that dance is “for girls.” That, in itself, is a generalization, of course—just as modern men are embracing emotional vulnerability, sharing household duties, and seeking therapy, there are plenty of men who dance. Still, season after season, I find myself surprised and delighted by the heterosexual male contestants on Dancing With the Stars who don’t treat the show like a joke.The bar is in hell, I know. But it takes a certain kind of confident straight man to step into a sequined costume, strap on some dance shoes, and tackle the rumba—in front of millions of live viewers, no less. From NFL players to UFC fighters to IndyCar drivers, DWTS has seen dozens of male celebs from traditionally masculine backgrounds become dedicated ballroom baddies, all without fear of having their “man card” revoked. And honestly? There’s nothing hotter.For instance: Take Evander Holyfield, the first-ever athlete cast on the show. The heavyweight boxing champion went home second during the inaugural season of DWTS, but—despite struggling big time (Bruno Tonioli famously compared his quickstep to “watching Terminator keeping up with Tinkerbell”)—he made up for his lack of skill with plenty of enthusiasm. Yes, his run was short, but his participation was impactful. The message: If “The Real Deal” could do the cha-cha, then what man couldn’t?Adam Larkey//Getty ImagesIt should be noted that plenty of men join the show for a career boost only to find themselves overwhelmed by the physical demands of ballroom dancing, and the easiest way to save face is with derision. One who comes to mind is David Hasselhoff, who—despite claiming he “gave it 120 percent” during season 11—seemed more determined to aggressively assert his masculinity than master a box step.“You gotta wear a thong on this show,” the Baywatch alum told Billy Bush and Kit Hoover during an appearance on Access Hollywood Live ahead of his DWTS debut. “I go to see the tailor and he’s like, ‘What kind of underwear are you wearing?’…I’m going, ‘Relax on my underwear, dude!’”Following his elimination, David boasted that he “wasn’t real big on technique”…and he also went on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to talk about how attracted he was to pro partner Kym Johnson, saying, “She’s really hot. She told me she doesn’t date any of her dance partners until either we are eliminated or we win, so I said, ‘We’re going out in the first round.’”Gregg DeGuire//Getty ImagesListen, I love a good DWTS showmance, and yes, dance is supposed to be fun. But it’s also people’s livelihood. And when straight men make a mockery of it, they take away from my enjoyment.Then there’s Billy Ray Cyrus, who somehow finished in fifth place during season 4 despite his (to once again quote Bruno) “deliciously awful” routines that were somehow both indulgent and low effort. During his run, he also lashed out backstage, infamously snatched a microphone from cohost Samantha Harris’s hand, and reportedly “donkey-kicked” a stage manager during a dress rehearsal, all while claiming he “tried really hard technically to do all the things right.”Carol Kaelson//Getty ImagesDid he try? Maybe. But in the process, he also brought macho aggression to what should be a glitzy, glittery good time. And I don’t need that energy in my (and Len Goodman’s) ballroom.I’m tired of being told my stereotypically feminine interests are trivial—by the same people who approach fantasy football drafts with the seriousness of a surgeon. Rather than seeing Bachelorette runner-up Tyler Cameron tear off his shirt (like he did during week 2 this season), I want to see him like I did last night, jiving up a storm to “Still the One” by Orleans and not caring if he looks a little silly (spoiler: he didn’t) because at least he’s trying, dammit.Eric McCandless//Getty ImagesSo to the straight male athletes who directed their competitive spirit into finding their frame and to funny guys who didn’t use their time in the ballroom as an opportunity for cheap laughs: I salute you. Thank you for actually committing. Thank you for honestly trying. And thank you for treating this fanciful, theatrical, and undeniably difficult art form with the respect it deserves.