Performance explores perinatal mental health and world of motherhood

Breathe in, breathe out.Be present.Feel the chair under you.You are here.For Adelaide-based independent dancer Zoë Dunwoodie, a dialogue like this runs subconsciously; a mind-body connection enhanced by her craft."It's a physical practice," she said."If I've ever got anything going on, I funnel it through the dance."The body's just a fascinating place, and I think the older I get, the more I'm fascinated with it."The performance is about a pregnant woman who finds out she carries a gene that could turn her into a llama, and her journey into motherhood may trigger that transformation. (Supplied: Bri Hammond)These reflections from the trained contemporary dancer and up-and-coming choreographer are apt, given the themes of her performance in development, LLAMA.It's about a pregnant woman who finds out she carries a gene which could turn her into a llama — yes, a llama — and her journey into motherhood may trigger that transformation.The protagonist, played by Dunwoodie, finds her world infiltrated by llamas; shadow puppetry, masks and llama-like embodiments illustrate this rift in reality.The conceptionThe piece was conceived in 2023 with the fusion of three key ideas: motherhood, her grandmother's postpartum mental health, and her mother's love of llamas.Dunwoodie was grappling with her "biological clock ticking"."I was asking friends about babies and engaging with babies a lot more … maybe subconsciously or on purpose I was consuming a lot of content about motherhood," she said.The piece fuses three key ideas: motherhood, Zoë Dunwoodie's grandmother's postpartum mental health, and her mother's love of llamas. (Supplied: Bri Hammond)The performing artist was also pondering her family history, namely that of her maternal grandmother."I never met her … but I know she struggled a lot with some mental instabilities … my mum thinks it could have been a postnatal depression that might have gone into a psychosis," she said."The 1930s to 50s … it would have been a 'brush it under the carpet' sort of thing."She was diagnosed with some other mental illnesses … and the connection to motherhood might not have been so recognised."Dunwoodie does not intend for this work to be taken as the gospel of perinatal mental health, but she does draw inspiration from it.One of the llamas from the shadow world, a wizened matriarch named Grizabella, crochets the wool that dangles from her."My mum's mum used to crochet these really amazing tapestries and quilts, and then she'd unravel them," Dunwoodie said."So there's this theme I want to get into … that juxtaposition of the protagonist's world unravelling as well.The protagonist, played by Zoë Dunwoodie, finds her world infiltrated by llamas and shadow puppetry. (Supplied: Zoe Dunwoodie)"Grizabella embraces the protagonist and is like, 'It's okay to be a llama, it's actually great, you don't need to fight it.'"Which is a question I had about this postnatal depression psychosis world … where is this place that these mothers go to cope with what their realities are? In reality it might not be a safe space."The final element is Dunwoodie's mother's "slight obsession with llamas"."Sorry mum … it's not an obsession, I think it's just she really likes them," she said.The gestationIn 2023, Dunwoodie received funds through Adelaide Festival Centre's inSPACE Program for LLAMA's first development for the stage.Then had a baby and embarked on her own journey into motherhood.This deepened her connection to the text and themes of matrescence, a term coined in the 70s exploring the radical physiological, psychological and social changes during pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood.Zoë Dunwoodie said having a child of her own deepened her connection to the text. (ABC News: Angus Paterson)After another inSPACE development in January this year, Dunwoodie embarked on an EXPOUND residency in March, a joint initiative between Australian Dance Theatre and CreateSA.She received a $30,000 grant and up to six weeks of studio space at the Lion Arts Centre to further develop LLAMA."It was a huge honour to get that amount of money," she said."A bit overwhelming because I was like, 'Okay, what am I going to do?', but pay your creatives, that's where the money goes."The artist invested in performers, a composer, costume, props, and a screen for the shadow puppetry.One of those performers, Jazzy Williamson-Gray, has portrayed a llama in the developments.Zoë Dunwoodie said the grant helped pay creatives involved in the production. (Supplied: Zoe Dunwoodie)"It's very unique and very specific in its embodiment, and its physicality," she said."It's allowed me to explore really serious themes in a way that contains lightness as well."The independent dancer said the llamas create hooves by planting their index and middle fingers on the ground while on all fours."We do come up into quite awkward, non-human positions to explore the qualities of being a human and being a llama and where they meld together," she said.Another member of the creative team is Tanya Voges, a dancer and creative arts therapist.She uses dance to facilitate trauma-informed, psychotherapeutic sessions for various groups, including mothers seeking perinatal mental health support.Zoë Dunwoodie said it was a huge honour to receive a grant for her performance in development. (ABC News: Angus Paterson)After assisting Dunwoodie with grant writing, Voges offered to help navigate these themes."Saying, 'Actually, would you like my support? Because you're currently a mum of a really young baby, and dealing with subject matter that is influenced by this time of life, when it doesn't go well,'" she said.For Dunwoodie, exploring motherhood and mental health allows her to better understand it."Knowledge is power," she said."I've had amazing support from the people I've been working with … a beautiful bubble of people."Especially when I had my baby in the space as well, so generous, so loving and chill about there being a small human hanging out."The birthLike a child that has come to term in the safety of the womb, Dunwoodie is ready to shepherd LLAMA into the world.Between getting her real baby into childcare, seeking out a producer and securing more funding, late 2027 could be the due date that sees the performer don the white, paper llama mask."I do wear a mask when I'm a mum some days," she said."I've just got to put that llama head on, hope people are distracted by that and not the fact that I haven't showered today."