Parenting triplets: I have never seen my husband sweat so much when we were told the news

When Clare Perez-Wildes (36) and Claudio Perez (37) first discussed having children, they had a different idea of what their perfect number might be. Claudio thought two might be it. While Clare, who comes from a family of four children herself, had dreams of replicating her own childhood experience.The couple, who live in Co Wicklow, had their first baby Enzo two years ago. And the realities of parenthood, and all that entails, convinced Clare that Claudio’s idea of having two children might be the way to go. “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans”, John Lennon sang. And life indeed is what happened when the couple planned a second baby.They got baby number two, three and four all at the same time. READ MOREAnd this is where our story begins.In a remarkably calm sittingroom in Newtownmountkennedy, where three tiny babies – Theo, Bella, and Kai – who are just one week home from the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) at the National Maternity Hospital, Holles Street, share a bassinet, while soothing womb sounds play on a nearby monitor. Their proud parents gaze adoringly over them, and look very fresh in spite of the triplet-level sleep deprivation they’re dealing with.And let’s not forget there’s a toddler too.There was no fertility treatment involved in their conception. The triplets were “spontaneous”. Each had their own amniotic sac and placenta. The siblings look very alike nonetheless, and there have been “small little moments of mixing them up”, Clare admits. “And I think the boys are getting more similar as well as the days go on”, she adds.[ A one in a million chance: Identical triplets born in DublinOpens in new window ]When Clare originally found out that she was pregnant, she wondered if the severe morning sickness she was experiencing might mean she was pregnant with a daughter this time. “With Enzo there was no sickness. There was nothing – it was just get up and go about your day”, whereas this time “for the first 12 weeks, I was so ill”. Kai, Theo and Bella at home in Co Wicklow. Photograph: Bryan O’Brien/The Irish Times “So much so, that in school, I was looking out the corridors, looking for a bin where I could go and vomit”, explains the teacher. “Then, one night, I said ... this is strange, I should not have a bump this early.” At their 12-week scan, the couple found out they were expecting triplets. “I have never seen him sweat so much”, Clare laughs describing Claudio’s reaction to the news. “It was just a great surprise,” Claudio says. “We were in shock. We didn’t know what to do – smiling, crying, laughing.”On learning that the triplets were a result of Clare releasing three separate eggs, Claudio announced he’d “scored a hat trick”, Clare says laughing.But after the initial shock and excitement of their news, the worry set in, Clare says, as the couple became aware they were now a “high-risk pregnancy”.Toddler Enzo with triplets Kai, Theo and Bella at home in Co Wicklow. Photograph: Bryan O'Brien / The Irish Times Yet, in spite of all their worry, the pregnancy progressed well, without complication. “I could still go to the gym and train,” Clare says. “I could still do stuff. The worst moments were lying in bed at night when you have to constantly go to the toilet.”Clare worked until the end of the secondary school year in May. And she shared news of her triplet pregnancy with her students. “One of them said, ‘oh Miss, you won’t be able to sleep for three weeks’.”The babies were delivered by planned Caesarean section at 34 weeks, and the hospital warned her that, because she was having triplets, there would be “a crowd” of medics in the room. “If I wasn’t a teacher and hadn’t stood in front of a class of maybe between 24 and 30 kids talking, I don’t know what I would have done. When I walked into that room, they said to me, ‘just be prepared there could be around 27 people there’.”Waiting outside the theatre as Clare was set up to have a C-section was “stressful”, Claudio says. “I was super worried.”But once inside, he wasn’t waiting long to meet his triplets. “It was very fast.”The couple knew in advance they were having two boys and one girl, and each baby weighed in around the 2kg (4lb 4oz) mark.Clare is combination feeding the triplets – both breastfeeding and formula. And for the moment anyway, the triplets don’t seem to be hugely fazed or disturbed by noise. Clare attributes this to their time in the NICU with its beeping machine, and constant activity and chatter. And two-year-old Enzo is loving the role of big brother.Claudio Perez and Clare Perez-Wildes with their triplets. Photograph: Bryan O’Brien / The Irish Times Feeding triplets requires more planning and observation than feeding a singleton, Clare notes. “We had a book and we were literally noting it all in the book. Because it’s three to four hours, we know it’s coming and then it will just be a case of whoever’s screaming the loudest they’ll get the first bottle, or the first boob. It’s a routine of feed, change, burp and put down again and then make sure the other two are getting done.”‘We were in shock. We didn’t know what to do – smiling, crying, laughing’— Claudio PerezShe’s found a way to speed things up with the help of a double nursing pillow which allows Clare to breastfeed two babies at the same time. “You’re a bit more hungry, or a bit more thirsty afterwards”, she says of breastfeeding multiples, but the comfort of the pillow has helped hugely.So are the couple getting any sleep?Sleep it would seem is in the eye of the beholder, as Clare says “we are”, while Claudio’s expression suggests the very opposite. “I’m like, ‘yeah I got an hour’ and he’s like ‘I want my eight hours’,” Clare says laughing.“Even though they’re feeding every three or four hours, you’re feeding the first one, and maybe spend half an hour. And then the second one half an hour. So when you finish the last one, an hour and a half is already gone,” Claudio explains. “Then you go asleep and you have an hour, maybe an hour and a half to two hours, and then you have to start again.” “It’s like a conveyor belt,” Clare says.'Have you ever Googled triplet buggies?' Clare asks. Photograph: Bryan O’Brien/The Irish Times But it’s not just constant feeding and lack of sleep that the couple have to consider. There is also the matter of the significant cost in raising multiples. “We had to change the car,” Claudio explains. They’ve bought a seven-seater to allow for isofix car seats and all the paraphernalia that accompanies travelling with four children. “We bought that maybe two weeks before the babies came,” he says.‘One night, I said ... this is strange, I should not have a bump this early’— Clare Perez-Wildes“Because there’s still that fear. You don’t want to over-prepare. You’re terrified. I was so scared. It’s high risk. You don’t want to have everything prim and proper and then ...” she says, tailing off.“There’s that fear that we weren’t really talking about. And then, have you ever Googled triplet buggies?” Clare asks. It’s been enough to so far discourage Clare from buying a triplet buggy, instead choosing to put the Theo and Kai in the one bassinet of a double buggy, while Bella, who is a little bigger goes in the other. “I’d say, eventually, we will get a triplet one, when they’re maybe toddlers.”Space in the house is also a consideration. The couple live in a three-bedroom house, and while the three babies currently all sleep in the one cot, in time three cots will be needed.“Even the fridge” is a consideration. “We’re looking at it now going, ‘this is too small’, because one, we’ve to eat more food, but also at the moment it’s only milk we’ve to look after for them, and storing the expressed milk, but eventually it’s going to be that we need one of these big ass fridges where we can store everything ... We got our under the stairs storage done a week before the babies arrived. The preparation for multiples is totally different.”“It’s so expensive, normal stuff like nappies. Formula as well – there’s three of them,” Claudio says.Kai, Theo and Bella at home in Co Wicklow. Photograph: Bryan O’Brien/The Irish Times “Wipes as well. It’s all those little things”, Claire adds. “So, by six months, they’ll be nappy trained,” she says jokingly.Although Claudio, who works in the tech industry has a new job now, he was made redundant from his previous job in April, adding to an already worrying time for the couple. “I had this stress. What am I going to do financially now. The babies are coming and I was just getting laid off.”[ Life as a twin: ‘My mother had myself and my twin sister when she was 37. I had my twins at 37’Opens in new window ]He has taken two weeks paternity leave, saving this leave until the babies were home from hospital, and continued to work while the triplets were in the NICU. His work offices are in Ballsbridge in Dublin, and he did the morning runs to the hospital with expressed breast-milk.His manager has facilitated working from home two days a week, due to the circumstances, which is very helpful for the young family. And not having to drive every weekday even helps with the sleep deprived exhaustion that comes with have three newborn babies at once. “My fear is him driving on those roads again, just because it’s so busy. And then he’s coming home to go straight back into it. It’s not like it’s going to get easier anytime soon,” Clare says.For Clare, the return to work is some time away, but having three infants and a toddler means childcare costs have to be factored into the timing of her return. “Enzo will hit ECCE (Early Childhood Care and Education Programme) next year. My plan is to stay off, use my parental leave and get as much time out as I can. And as that happens because there’s three babies, you can get three parental leaves. That gets them up to the ECCE stage.”Family support has been very important, and Clare’s family have played a huge role in helping them to manage. Her dad drove her in to visit the babies in hospital while her mum cared for Enzo. Claudio, who is originally from Venezuela, says he’s hoping his mother will be able to visit and meet her new grandchildren soon. Neighbours and friends have also offered huge support. “People arriving to the door with food to feed us. It’s just fantastic. Nappies. It’s just absolutely fantastic.”So many nappies. So many feeds. So many beautiful babies. So are the couple done?There’s a pause before Clare says “yes”. Claudio on the other hand lets a “you never know” escape.We’ll watch this space.