Nobody Wants to Work for Kash Patel

2 min read(Optional Video Accompaniment to This Post)Gone are those Stacomb brush cuts, and the gray suits, narrow ties, and shiny black wingtips. The FBI is having trouble finding people to work for it. Even so, wow, man, this must be a crisis. From CBS News:The FBI previously refused to hire job applicants if they admitted to hiring sex workers or stealing from an employer—or engaging in acts of bestiality. Today, those acts, which are mostly illegal across the country, are no longer automatic deal breakers for applicants to the nation's top law enforcement agency. In June, the FBI quietly lowered some of the standards it uses when it conducts background checks on would-be federal agents and other personnel. According to multiple sources briefed on the matter, the FBI did so to facilitate hiring in some cases, even if candidates acknowledged they engaged in sexually deviant activities or stole from an employer.Wait a minute. Getting some strange in the barnyard is "no longer an automatic deal breaker" for applicants to the FBI. So if, one day, at the annual field office, Special Agent Bugtussle shows up with the spouse, a sheep, everything's cool. And people thought Hoover was weird. The explanation for the change in policy is equally bizarre.The new standards also specifically address applicants who have engaged in past acts of bestiality or animal cruelty—saying they may still be considered for the bureau as long as the incidents took place before the age of 18, the sources said. An FBI spokesperson confirmed that some changes to the eligibility requirements have taken place, but claimed they are limited to a narrow set of circumstances, such as in cases where a person was sexually abused with animals as a child.There are rough statutes of limitation dreamed up for the relaxation of previous disqualifications. If you stole from your employer more than three years ago, you're cool. If you hired a sex worker less than three times, here's your badge and gun. This whole deal, of course, is a result of the incompetence of the administration, embodied in this case by Kash Patel, the gadabout FBI director who knows less about law enforcement than a dairy cow.