My Wedding Ring Is a Precious Family Heirloom. What I Want to Do With It Has Caused Some Tears.

Dear Prudence I thought this was a sensible idea. Advice by Enter your email to receive alerts for this author. Sign in or create an account to better manage your email preferences. Unsubscribe from email alerts Are you sure you want to unsubscribe from email alerts for Jenée Desmond-Harris? Oct 07, 20266:00 AM Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Getty Images Plus. Sign up for the Slatest to get the most insightful analysis, criticism, and advice out there, delivered to your inbox daily. Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. Submit questions here. Dear Prudence, I work in medicine, where jewelry is banned beyond simple wedding rings. I am also the kind of person who has left my phone in hotels or my coffee on top of my car. My husband was the only son, and his late grandmother gave us her very expensive engagement ring when we got married. I wore it for photos and the ceremony, and it promptly went into a bank box. I wear a silicone ring that I have multiples of, and that I don’t have to worry about losing and sending thousands of dollars down the drain. I have two sisters-in-law getting engaged. The ring is just sitting in a box. My idea was to have a family discussion to decide who wanted Grandma’s ring. My husband brought this up to his mother, and she started to cry. She said I was awful, ungrateful, and didn’t understand the meaning of family. My mother-in-law has been cold to me because my husband and I are not having kids, despite the fact that one of my sisters-in-law has two. I just want to celebrate my sisters-in-law and am now wishing Grandma had just been buried with it. I could hold it for the future niblings, but who knows what will happen? Best plan of action? —One Ring Dear One Ring, Just keep the ring. Jewelry boxes exist for a reason. Plenty of people have precious items they don’t wear often or ever. I appreciate how thoughtful and generous you’re being, but there’s no reason you need to get rid of it, especially if it’s going to cause a family war. And who knows what will change in the future? You might decide that you want it on a necklace. You might discover you have lived your whole life with ADHD, get treated, and suddenly have the mental focus to remove it before work and put it back on afterward without losing it. There are obviously other issues at play in your marriage and family: your mother-in-law’s cruel treatment over your decision not to have children. Your husband’s intense overreaction to this issue. Even your desire for closeness with your sisters-in-law, that maybe you feel hasn’t come naturally? Could that be part of the reason you wanted to make the unusual gesture of handing over the ring? In any case, there’s plenty to deal with without complicating things with a decision about a piece of jewelry that is absolutely guaranteed not to make everyone happy. Classic Prudie My sister’s daughter is getting married, and I’ve been invited. However, I sense that the invite was somewhat disingenuous. It is far away and would be an expensive trip. On the other hand, it might be fun, and there are other guests I’d like to see as well. Another relative mentioned that my sister is afraid I won’t dress well. I’m not sure what prompted that… Advice Dear Prudence