My Stepmom Found “Evidence” in Their Bedroom That My Dad Is Cheating. I Could Clear His Name … But I Don’t Want to.

Care and Feeding Photo illustration by Slate. Photos by Getty Images Plus. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here. Dear Care and Feeding, I’m a 21-year-old college student who is currently on summer break. The other day, I came home to my dad’s house (my parents divorced when I was 15) to find my stepmom “Sandra” screaming at my dad and accusing him of cheating on her. He swore up and down that he wasn’t. Sandra shouted how she had found the “evidence” in their bed, then stomped out of the house (shoulder checking me in the process) and left for her mother’s. When I asked my dad what was going on, he said my stepmom had found make-up stains on the sheets. They weren’t hers, and he had no idea where they came from. I went to go look and realized they were from me! Earlier that day, I’d been in the room talking to my dad. I’d done a face plant on the bed in response to a dumb joke he’d made. The thing is, I find myself torn. I cannot fucking stand Sandra and would love nothing more than for her leave him and have her out of my life for good. On the other hand, my dad is being wrongfully accused of having an affair. Can I keep my mouth shut, or do I have to come forward? —What They Don’t Know … Dear Don’t Know, I can imagine how tempting it is to stay quiet and hopefully watch Sandra walk out of your life, but you have to think about the pain that would cause your father. Reach out to her and explain what happened. There’s always the possibility that she won’t believe you and she’ll stay gone anyway, but at least you can have a clear conscience and know that you did the right thing. Maybe she wanted to go anyway and was looking for a reason, but you shouldn’t deny either her or your father the opportunity for her to hear the truth from you. Also, let your dad know that you’re doing this for him, not Sandra (as I imagine he already knows just how you feel about her). —Jamilah More Parenting Advice From Slate My dad cheated on my mom and is now living in an apartment by himself. I would have been mad enough at him for cheating, but I heard them fighting before he left, and he called her all kinds of terrible things and blamed her for his actions. I don’t want to see him. Never miss new Slate Advice columns Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays. Advice Family Kids