My Son Played a Harmless Prank on His Cousins. My Sister-in-Law’s Demand Is Absurd.

Care and Feeding Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by DragonImages/Getty Images Plus. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here. Dear Care and Feeding, Last week my 12-year-old son “Preston” got one of those voice modulators and played a prank on his cousins when they came to visit. My sister-in-law, “Amanda,” is raising her two boys, “Mike” and “Ike” (ages 6 and 7), to be fundamentalist Christian in the worst way. Mike and Ike were in the family room when Preston used the modulator while hiding behind the couch to give himself a booming voice and told the boys it was God talking to them. As a test of fait, he ordered them to walk through the wall, saying he would remove it. Mike and Ike ended up crashing into the wall. Preston then emerged from hiding laughing his ass off while Mike and Ike ran sobbing to their mom. Now Amanda is furious and demanding an apology (and declaring Preston is going to Hell). My wife thinks our son needs to apologize. I think what happened was hilarious, not to mention being a good dose of reality for our nephews. In my opinion, if they’re that gullible they got what was coming to them. Sorry, not sorry, right? —Religion Riot Dear Riot, Is what happened funny? Perhaps. Is what happened OK? Unfortunately not. Preston is older than his cousins, and he shouldn’t make fun of their religious indoctrination in a way that involves them. Joking around with you and his mom is one thing, but causing them harm? It would have been much funnier for your son to do this to Amanda—and it still wouldn’t have been OK! What do you think that your nephews learned? That God isn’t real? I highly doubt that this little joke has challenged their faith in anyone aside from their big cousin. If you want them to listen to him when it matters—perhaps when it comes to issues of sexuality or identity or bigotry—then this isn’t the way he should be engaging with them now. What your son did was mean and he should apologize, period. Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don‘t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication. Dear Care and Feeding, My husband “Ray’s” younger brother, “Roger,” recently got kicked out of the place he shared with his now-former girlfriend after she discovered he got another woman pregnant. Roger is currently staying with a friend, but Ray thinks we should let him crash with us until he can make other arrangements since the friend charges him rent and we wouldn’t. I am adamantly against my brother-in-law staying with us. We have a 11-month-old and a 3-year-old, and Roger smokes marijuana to the point where he is in a near-perpetual state of being high. Before we had kids, there was a time when Roger needed to stay with us for a few months after he lost his job following a failed drug test. I grudgingly allowed it on the condition that he not smoke in the house. Not only did he refuse to hold up that simple request, he got so baked one day that he put all the food from the fridge into our washing machine, turned it on, and ruined it, AND never reimbursed us for the new one. Obviously I don’t want to expose my kids to the smoke and the dysfunction. I get to put my foot down and say Roger isn’t welcome, correct? —Won’t Do It With the Weed Dear Won’t Do It, As a marijuana enthusiast whose enthusiasm has been controversial in this very space, I wholeheartedly agree with you. Roger sucks, he is a victim of his own bad choices, and he is not safe to be around kids. His circumstances are entirely of his own awful doing. I think there are rare situations in which adults who cohabitate may rightfully overrule each other about something like allowing a person in their shared home, but your husband doesn’t seem to have any ground to stand on to do such a thing. Say “no” and keep saying “no.” —Jamilah More Parenting Advice From Slate My wife, “Minerva,” and I have a 6-year-old son, “Blaine.” When Blaine was just under 1, Minerva and I began to have issues getting along. I started an affair with “Wendy,” Minerva’s sister. Less than a year into the affair, Wendy ended up pregnant and had a son, “Cameron.” She told everyone she conceived through a sperm donor. Never miss new Slate Advice columns Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays. Advice Family Kids