My Son Had a Tiny Little Strop. My Sister’s Reaction Is Too Much.

Care and Feeding Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by RuthBlack/iStock/Getty Images Plus. This is a newsletter bonus question. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here. Dear Care and Feeding, My husband and I have a 6-year-old son, “Silas,” who I will admit can have big emotions. When he was at his cousin’s 7th birthday party last month, he became upset when he was given a slice of cake that didn’t have the frosting decoration he wanted on it. He then flipped the entire birthday cake onto the floor. Now my sister and brother-in-law have said that Silas is banned from their holiday gatherings this year. My son is only 6 and is still learning to regulate his feelings. Aren’t they being incredibly punitive? —Blacklisted Dear Blacklisted, Yes, they are being a bit harsh, but I can understand where they are coming from. Having your cousin smashing your birthday cake on the floor is the type of thing that can really mess up a kid’s celebration, and I suspect that may not have been the only time your family has witnessed Silas’s “big emotions.” Imagine what might happen if he had a similar reaction to not getting the gift he wanted, or being served the “wrong” food at dinner. No one is trying to risk having your son toss the holiday ham into the fireplace because he didn’t get enough. Focus on working with your son, and seeking any interventions that may be necessary, to express his feelings in a healthy way and I’m sure the family will be happy to reunite with him when he poses less of a threat of disaster. —Jamilah Classic Prudie My father has always been a smart aleck who loves practical jokes and discreetly needling people. My husband has been one of his favorite targets for stupid pranks and comments about his choice in clothing, hairstyle, shoes, or whatever else stands out. For many years, I’ve warned my father that my husband disliked him and that his behavior was causing real animus. It never registered for him until recently, when my husband—whom I had never previously seen angry—lost it completely. Never miss new Slate Advice columns Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays. Advice Family Kids