My Sister Let Herself Into My House While I Was Away. She Blames Me for the Consequences.

Dear Prudence It’s honestly unhinged. Advice by Enter your email to receive alerts for this author. Sign in or create an account to better manage your email preferences. Unsubscribe from email alerts Are you sure you want to unsubscribe from email alerts for Jenée Desmond-Harris? Aug 12, 20266:00 AM Photo illustration by Slate. Photos by Getty Images Plus. Sign up for the Slatest to get the most insightful analysis, criticism, and advice out there, delivered to your inbox daily. Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. Submit questions here. Dear Prudence, My sister has a key to my house in case of emergencies. While I was on holiday, she dropped by my home with her kids without my permission and for no reason that I understand. While they were there, my nephew managed to go into my bedroom. He found a box of (legally purchased) edibles and chowed down. Fortunately, he’s OK, but my sister is on the warpath, blaming me for everything while refusing to explain why she was in my house, why her kids were unattended, what her son was doing in my bedroom, and how often this has happened. She’s demanding an apology, insisting I should go into rehab, screaming at me every time she sees me, and swearing to never speak to me again (don’t threaten me with a good time). It’s honestly unhinged. I’d tell her where to get off, but that doesn’t feel helpful, and I’m worried that something else is going on. Unfortunately, my parents don’t want to “take sides,” so I don’t have someone neutral I can ask to check if anything else is going on. Do I just let this blow over? My instincts are telling me that she’s hiding out in my house with her kids because of something she’s too embarrassed to talk about. I’d go to her husband, but he might be the problem. —Blame Game Dear Blame Game, Maybe your sister should have an edible too and try to calm down? Just kidding. Sort of. You’re very kind and generous to think about what might be going on in her life instead of telling her to go to hell with her complaints about what happened when she basically trespassed on your property. Try something like this: “I know you’re shaken up by what happened with the edibles, and while I don’t think it’s fair for you to blame me for something that happened when you invaded my privacy and came over without my permission, I get that it was scary and any parent would be upset. If you need some space before we talk again, that’s OK. But I can’t help but worry about whether you might be dealing with a tough situation that made you come to the house in the first place, and I love you very much, so I’m worried about you. After we have a chance to cool down, if you want to talk, I’m here.” Classic Prudie My long-term boyfriend has developed a habit that’s driving me nuts. Whenever he gets tired of his beard, he shaves it into a retro, ridiculous mustache or sideburns. The first few times he did it, I thought it was funny—until I realized I would be living with “the Tom Selleck” or “the Elvis” for more than a few hours. Never miss new Slate Advice columns Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays. Advice Dear Prudence