My Mom Tried to Kidnap My Nephew. Her Excuse Is Beyond Bizarre.

Care and Feeding Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by DragonImages/Getty Images Plus. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here. Dear Care and Feeding, Over a month ago, my older sister, “Winona,” had to travel to Europe. Winona left her 6-year-old son, “Liam,” with our mom. My mom has always been a bit of a conspiracy nut. However, while she was watching Liam, things took a turn for the worse. While Winona was gone, she ended up getting a radically different hair style than she had when she left (think going from long to short and dyed another color). When she Facetimed our mom and Liam, Mom freaked out when she saw the change in her appearance and claimed that Winona wasn’t really Winona! Nothing would convince her otherwise, and she cut off Winona’s access to Liam. Even worse, she said she wasn’t going to return Liam to her! Once Winona got home, we came up with a plan where I ostensibly took my nephew for an outing, but instead returned him to her. Our mom has been furious with me ever since and has said I am dead to her for “kidnapping” Liam and “giving him to a stranger” (she even called the cops, who quickly deduced Liam is Winona’s son and was not in danger). Should I give her some space, or is this type of behavior worth walking away? Winona is still outraged about how our mom tried to keep her son. She says she’s done with her, so I’m on my own in terms of caring for her when she’s older. —She Really Is Your Daughter Dear Really Your Daughter, I’m not a person who can diagnose anyone, but maybe your mom is in the midst of a psychotic episode? Have you had a doctor check her out? This is not the time for you to give her space and certainly not the time to walk away from your mom. This is an opportunity for you to show compassion and make sure she gets the help she needs. This is a serious family matter and you have to treat it like one, despite how disturbing and hurtful your mother’s behavior has been. Show up for this! Get your mom some help. Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don‘t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication. Dear Care and Feeding, My wife, “Gia,” ruined what should have been an enjoyable family gathering for a nonsensical reason. We took our two kids, “Cheyenne,” 5, and “Aiden,” 7 to my parents’ lake house for long weekend. Gia has this stupid ass rule where she doesn’t want fireworks set off around the kids, even if it’s done by adults. I knew there were going to be real fireworks at the house, but I figured she wouldn’t let us go if I told her, so I said it was just going to be fountains. About a half hour after we got there, my brother’s kids shot a Roman candle over water with our kids watching. When Gia heard the noise, she became irate and said we were leaving. When I protested, she told me either I could leave with her and the kids or find my own way home. So that was the end of our holiday weekend. My wife was out of line and shouldn’t have spoiled a good time, right? —Fizzled Weekend Dear Fizzled, Ah, I’m afraid you’re in the wrong, Fizzled Weekend. You have to understand, you completely deceived your wife here! You knew there would be fireworks, and you lied. Maybe there’s a rational conversation to be had about setting some ground rules for how close your kids can get to fireworks in the future, but first you have to respect her fears. Which aren’t unfounded, by the way. I love fireworks, but even I am torn on what our family policy is for them. On one hand, I grew up in the 80s, so the 4th of July was a time for mischief and mayhem! Mine childhood was filled with sparkler fights, putting cherry bombs in mailboxes, and Roman candles being shot at people, sometimes from close range. But also, fireworks are super dangerous! Each year over 13,000 people are injured by them. Last year, fireworks killed 15 people. Keeping your kids away from these things is actually very sane! Apologize for lying, and don’t do it again. Or else plan for a lifetime of taking Ubers back from any summer holidays from here on out. —A.J. More Parenting Advice From Slate My wife and I welcomed our first child recently and have had our hands full with baby care. Her mother has been a big help, especially as I have returned to work. However, my wife has chafed at times against what she perceives as her mother babying her as she goes through the postpartum healing process. I generally understand where her mother is coming from, as she wants to take care of her child. But her mother is also not being receptive to my wife’s requests on this front. Well, her mother confided in me a few days ago. Never miss new Slate Advice columns Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays. Advice Family Kids